Atlantis: The Lost Empire Quotations

Atlantis: The Lost Empire is a 2001 film that follows the adventure Milo Thatch, an "expert in gibberish", experiences while trying to prove his grandfather's theory that Atlantis exists. He feels his dream is hopeless until a wealthy benefactor gives him the means to go on an expedition, along with an unusual team of explorers who may have their own interests in mind. Together, they will travel beneath the ocean's depths to discover a lost civilization... and maybe something more.

Directed by Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise. Written by Tab Murphy

(Atlantis is waiting.) taglines

Milo Thatch

[after being seasick] Carrots? Why is it always carrots? I didn't even eat carrots!

[They are getting chased by the Leviathan; increasingly panicked] It's only a grease trap, it's just like a sink! It's only a grease trap it's just like a sink!!!

Oh, my decision? I think we've seen how effective my decisions have been. Let's re-cap. I lead a band of plundering vandals to the greatest archaeological find in recorded history, thus enabling the kidnap and/or murder of the royal family, not to mention personally delivering the most powerful force known to man into the hands of a mercenary nutcase who's probably gonna sell it to the Kaiser! Have I left anything out?! [Dr. Sweet: Well, you did set the camp on fire and drop us down that big hole.] Thank you! Thank you very much!

[To Rourke] Well, I don't know, why don't you translate, and I'll wave the gun around?!

[After seeing the Leviathan's eye] Oh my god! IT'S A MACHINE!!!

[plays with a glowing fly] Heh heh! These guys are kinda cute when they're not, you know, formed into a fiery column of death.

Princess 'Kida' Kidagakash

(To Milo) You are a scholar, are you not? Judging from your diminished physique and large forehead, you can be suited for nothing else!

We are not thriving. True, our people live, but our culture is dying. We are like a stone the ocean beats against. With each year a little more of us is worn away.

Preston B. Whitmore

Your grandad had a saying: "Our lives are measured by the gifts we leave our children." This journal is his gift to you. Atlantis is waiting.

Your grandfather was always bending my ear with stories about that book. I didn't buy it for a minute! So finally I got fed up and made a bet with the old coot. I said, "Thatch, if you ever actually find that so-called journal, not only will I finance the expedition, but I'll kiss you full on the mouth!" [Shows Milo a photo with him and Milo's grandfather spitting after they've kissed each other] Imagine my embarrassment when he found the darn thing.

Helga Katrina Sinclair

[Milo has just asked her how she entered his apartment when the door was locked] I came down the chimney, ho ho ho.

[about Milo] Cartographer, linguist, plumber...hard to believe he's still single.

Move it, people, move! Sometime today would be nice!

[last words] Nothing personal.

There weren't supposed to be people down here. This changes everything.

That was an order, not a suggestion. Let's move!

Commander Lyle Tiberius Rourke

[The Leviathan attacks the submarine] Tell Cookie to melt the butter and break out the bibs. I want this ugly bastard served up on a silver platter!

"Mercenary"? I prefer the term "adventure capitalist".

[to Milo] Academics...you never want to get your hands dirty. Think about it: if you gave back every stolen artifact at the museum, you'd be left with an empty building. We're just providing a necessary service to the archaeological community.

[to Milo, about to leave him in a dying Atlantis] Think of it this way, son. You were the one who discovered Atlantis, and now you're part of the exhibit!

I love it when I win.

Next time, get it in writing! [throws Helga overboard] Nothing personal!

[to Milo] Well, I gotta hand it to you. You're a bigger pain in the neck than I would have ever thought possible! I consider myself an even-tempered man; it takes a rotten lot to get under my skin. But congratulations - you just won the solid gold kewpie doll!

[last words] Tired, Mr. Thatch?! Well, that's a damn shame...'cause I'm just getting warmed up!

Dr. Joshua Strongbear Sweet

[about his saw] Nice, isn't it? The catalogue says that this little beauty can saw through a femur in twenty-eight seconds. I'm betting I can cut that time in half!

[after Milo asks about Mole] Trust me on this, you don't wanna know. Audrey, don't tell him. You shouldn'ta told me, but you did, and now I'm tellin' you, you don't wanna know.

I got a sheepskin from Howard U and a bearskin from Old Iron Cloud.

Moliere, what have I told you about playing nice with other kids?! Get back! I've got soap, and I'm not afraid to use it. Back, foul creature, to the pit from whence you came!

I hate fishing. I hate fish. Hate the taste, hate the smell and I hate all them little bones.

[They eventually see Atlantis and are awestruck by it] Milo, I got to hand it to you, you really came through. [they are suddenly ambushed by Kida's hunting party] Uh, I take that back!

Vincenzo Santorini

As far as me goes... I just like to blow things up.

My family owned a flower shop. We would sell roses, carnations, baby's breath, you name it. One day, I'm making about three dozen corsages for this prom, you know, the one they put on the wrist, and everybody, they come. "When is it?", "Where is it?", "Does it match my dress?" It's a nightmare. Anyway, I guess there was this leak next door of gas or what. BOOM! No more Chinese laundry. Blew me right through the front window. It was like a sign from God. I found myself that boom.

We done a lot of things we're not proud of. [counting off on his fingers] Robbing graves, eh, plundering tombs, double parking. But, nobody got hurt. Well, maybe somebody got hurt, but nobody we knew.

Gaeton "Mole" Moliere

[to Milo] You ask too many questions! Who are you?! Who sent you?! Speak up! Bah! I will know soon enough. [He grabs Milo's hand. Milo protests.] Do not be such a crybaby! Hold still! [Takes a bit of dirt from under one of Milo's fingernails.] Aha! There you are. Now tell me your story, my little friend. [Looks at dirt under magnifying lenses] Parchment fiber from the Nile circa 500 B.C., lead pencil No. 2, paint flecks of a type used in government buildings, you have a cat, short hair Persian, two years old, third in a litter of seven. These are all the microscopic fingerprints of the mapmaker. [Tastes dirt] And linguist.

[on various occasions] I'm so excited.

Audrey Rocio Ramirez

Two for flinching.

[While attempting to saw through a chain with Sweet's medical saw] I thought you said this thing could cut through a femur in twenty-eight seconds!

Wilhemina Bertha Packard

[over the PA system] Attention. Tonight's supper will be baked beans. Musical program to follow. [pause] Who wrote this?

[to her friend Margie] So I says to him, "What's wrong with my meatloaf?" and he says to me...oh, hold on a second Margie, I've got another call. Sir, we're approaching coordinates. Hello, Margie? Yes, so anyways, he says to me...

[to her friend Margie] And he took his suitcase? Marge, honey, I don't think he's coming back.

[to her friend Margie] I'll have to call you back...No no, I'll call you...

All hands to the launch bay. To whoever took the "L" from the "Motor Pool" sign, ha-ha, we are all very amused.

[repeated line] We're all gonna die.

Commander, I think you should hear this...Commander...Commander...Commander...Commander...

I'm picking up something from the hydrophone I think you should hear.

You wanna do my job? Be my guest.

Sir, it's Engineering on call...

Jebidiah Allardyce "Cookie" Farnsworth

You done stuffed my wagon full t'bustin' with non-essentials! Look at all this! Cinnamon! Spring rolls! Cilantro?! What in the gosh-done cock-a-doodle is cilantro?!

I got your four basic food groups! Beans, bacon, whisky and lard.

[serves everyone the same, nondescript slop] For the appetizer, Caesar salad, escargot, and your Oriental spring rolls.

Dang lightning-bugs done bit me on my sit-upon. Somebody's gonna have to suck out this poison. Don't everybody jump up at once.

They can smell fear just by lookin' at ya. So keep quiet.

Dialogue

Milo: I'll have to quit my job.

Preston B. Whitmore: It's done. You resigned this afternoon.

Milo: I did?

Preston B. Whitmore: Yep. Don't like to leave loose ends.

Milo: Oh, my apartment, I'm gonna have to give a notice.

Preston B. Whitmore: Taken care of.

Milo: My clothes?

Preston B. Whitmore: Packed.

Milo: My books?

Preston B. Whitmore: In storage.

Milo: My cat?

[Milo's cat appears on his shoulder and meows]

Milo: My gosh.

Milo: Excuse me, you dropped your dy...dy...dynamite! [Nervous laugh] What else have you, uh, got in there?

Vinny: Oh, er...Gunpowder, nitroglycerin, notepads, fuses, wicks, glue, and...paper clips - big ones. You know, just, uh, office supplies.

[Milo goes in his cabin and lays on the bed, a pair of telescopic eyes looks at him]

Mole: You...have disturbed...the dirt!

Milo: Uh, pardon me?

Mole: You have disturbed the dirt!

[Pulls off blanket, exposing clumps of dirt with little flags]

Mole: Dirt from around the globe spanning the centuries! Eek! What have you done! England must never merge with France!

Milo: What's it doing in my bed?!

Mole: You ask too many questions! Who are you? Who sent you? Speak up!

Milo: Me, I'm, uh--

Mole: Bah! I will know soon enough!

[Grabs Milo's hand]

Milo: Hey, hey, hey! Let go!

Mole: Don't be such a crybaby. Hold still!

[Mole take a tiny dirt sample from Milo's fingernail with tweezers]

Mole: Aha! there you are! Now tell me your story my little friend...

[Looks at dirt with his magnifying goggles]

Mole: Parchment fibre from the Nile Delta circa 500 B.C., lead pencil No. 2, paint flecks of a type used in government buildings, you have a cat, short hair Persian, two years old, third in a litter of seven. These are all the microscopic fingerprints of the mapmaker...

[tastes dirt]

Mole: And linguist!

Sweet: The name's Sweet, Joshus Sweet. Medical officer.

Milo: Yeah. Milo Thatch.

Sweet: Milo Thatch, you're my three o'clock! [reaches into his back and pulls out a saw] Well, no time like the present.

Milo: [stares at the saw] Oh boy!

Sweet: Nice, isn't it? The catalogue says that this little beauty can saw through a femur in 28 seconds. I'm betting I can cut that time in half! [puts the saw away and comes out with a tongue depresser] Now, stick out your tongue and say "Ah"!

Milo: Oh, no really, I-- [Sweet puts toungue depresser in his mouth] Ahhg!

Sweet: So where're you from? [Milo grunts something] Really? I have family up that way! Beautiful country up there! You do any fishing?

Milo: Oh...a little...

Sweet: Me? I hate fishing. I hate fish. Hate the taste, hate the smell, hate all them little bones. [as he speaks he does several things from putting the depresser away to taking Milo's pulse, then finally pulls up two bottles] Here, I'm gonna need you to fill these up.

Milo: [spits] With what?!

Packard: [on tannoy] Would Milo Thatch please report to the bridge?

Milo: Thank you...I mean, nice meeting you. [runs off]

Sweet: [watching Milo run off] Uh-huh, nice meeting you too.

Audrey: Rourke! We got a big hit and we're taking in water fast! I don't wanna be around when it hits the boilers!

Rourke: How much time do we have?

Audrey: 20 minutes, if the bulkhead holds.

[Explosion]

Audrey: You better make that 5.

Rourke: You heard the girl. Let's move!

Milo: Move where?

Helga: Packard, let's go!

Packard: [on the phone] And he took his suitcase? Marge, honey, I don't think he's coming back.

Helga: PACKARD!

Packard: Gonna have to call you back. [slight pause] No-no, I'll call you.

Commander Rourke: Looks like all our chances for survival rest with you, Mr. Thatch. You and that little book.

Packard: We're all gonna die.

Vinny: You didn't just drink that, did you?!

Milo: Mm-hmm.

Vinny: That's not good! That's nitroglycerin!

[Milo holds his breath]

Vinny: Don't move, don't breathe, don't do anything. Except pray, maybe...

Mole: [jumps up behind Milo, scaring him] BOOM!

[Vinny and Mole laugh.]

Rourke: Looks like we have a roadblock. [looks to Vinny] Vinny, what do you think?

Vinny: I could unroadblock that if I had about two hundred of these [points to a stick of TNT in his hand]... Problem is I only got about [counts on fingers] ten, plus, [pulls up a small bag] five of my own... Couple of cherry bombs... [pulls out a flare]... Road flare...

[Rourke just looks at Vinny.]

Vinny: Hey! Too bad we don't have some nitroglycerin, eh, Milo?

[Milo gives Vinny a "drop dead" look while Mole laughs.]

[Mole's digger breaks down.]

Audrey: I don't get it. I just tuned this thing up this morning...

[Audrey climbs into vehicle and throws random bolts and pipes out.]

Audrey: [from inside digger] It looks like the boiler's shot. I'm gonna have to pull a spare from one of the trucks.

Milo: Uh, could I just...

Audrey: ¡No toques nada! I'll be right back. [walks away]

[Milo grabs Audrey's wrench and begins turning valves, then hits it. The vehicle starts again.]

Mole: SHE LIVES!

Audrey: Hey, what'd you do?

[Milo starts raving on about how the boiler is like the Smithsonian's.]

Audrey: Yeah, yeah, thank you very much. Shut up.

[Audrey spins around to face Milo, her hand clenched in a fist. Milo flinches.]

Audrey: Two for flinching.

[Audrey punches Milo twice. Mole laughs at him.]

Milo: Thanks, Cookie, that looks...greasier than usual.

Cookie: Ya like it? Well have some more. You're so skinny that if you stood sideways and stuck out your tongue, you'd look like a zipper.

Sweet: Hold on, back up! Are you saying this whole volcano can blow at any time?

Mole: No, no, no, no. That would take an explosive force of great magnitude.

[Everyone looks at Vinny, who is fiddling with a time bomb.]

Vinny: Maybe I should do this later, huh?

[Kida tries to communicate with Milo, going through various languages]

Milo: Parlez vous Francais?

Kida: Oui miseur!

Mole: They speak my language! Pardon mademouselle...

[Mole whispers something to Kida. She gives a disgusted look and punches him.]

Sweet: [Clapping] I like her!

Audrey: About time someone hit him. I'm just sorry it wasn't me.

Helga: Someone needs to talk to that girl.

Mole: I will go!

Vinny: Someone with good people skills.

Mole: I will do it!

Dr. Sweet: Someone who won't scare her away.

Mole: I volunteer!

Packard: Someone who can speak the language.

Mole: For the good of the mission, I will go!

Commander Rourke: [to Milo, who is not paying attention] Good man, Thatch. Thanks for volunteering.

[Mole cries.]

King Kashekim Nedakh: I know what you seek, and you will not find it here. Your journey has been in vain.

Commander Rourke: But we are peaceful explorers. Men of science.

[The king looks at Rourke's sidearm]

King Kashekim Nedakh: Heh heh heh, and yet you bring weapons.

Commander Rourke: Our weapons allow us to remove... obstacles we may encounter.

King Kashekim Nedakh: Some obstacles cannot be removed with a mere show of force. Return to your people, you must leave Atlantis, at once.

Milo: [To himself] OK Milo, don't take no for an answer. Look, I have some questions for you and I'm not leaving this city until they're answered. Yeah, that's it, that's good, that's good.

[Turns to talk to Kida, but she is no longer there. She appears behind him and grabs him]

Kida: I have some questions for you and you're not leaving this city until they're answered!

Milo: Yeah, well, I...OK.

[Milo is confronted by Rourke and his men and discover their real goal]

Commander Rourke: Welcome to the club, son.

Milo: I'm no mercenary!

Commander Rourke: Mercenary...I prefer the term 'adventure capitalist'.

[After King Kashekim Nedakh dies]

Sweet: So, what's it gonna be?

Milo: Excuse me?

Sweet: I followed you in, and I'll follow you out. It's your decision.

Milo: Oh, my decision. Well I-I think we've seen how effective my decisions have been, let's recap. I lead a band of plundering vandals to the greatest archaeological find in recorded history, thus enabling the kidnap and/or murder of the royal family, not to mention personally delivering the most powerful force known to man in the hands of a mercenary nutcase who's probably gonna sell it to the Kaiser! Have I left anything out?!!

Sweet: Well you did set the camp on fire and drop us down that big hole.

Milo: Thank you! Thank you very much.

Sweet: Of course, it's been my experience, when you hit bottom, the only place left to go is up.

Milo: Huh, who told you that?

Sweet: A fellow by the name of Thaddeus Thatch.

[Said while flying into battle]

Milo: OK, here's the plan. We're gonna come in low and fast and take 'em by surprise.

Audrey: Well, I've got news for you, Milo. Rourke is never surprised and he's got a lot of guns.

Milo: Great, well do you have any suggestions?

Vinny: Yeah, don't get shot!

[Milo almost gets shot by an aeroplane]

Milo: Holy shit! You told me he only had guns!

Audrey: What I said was he's never surprised!

[Audrey and Sweet are trying to free Kida. Audrey is attempting to cut through a chain with Sweet's medical saw.]

Audrey: I thought you said this thing could cut through a femur in twenty-eight seconds!

Sweet: Less talk, more saw!

Other

"...in a single day and night of misfortune, the island of Atlantis disappeared into the depths of the sea." -- Plato, 360 B.C. [text displayed at the beginning of the movie]

Cast

Michael J. Fox - Milo James Thatch
Corey Burton - Gaetan 'The Mole' Moliere
Claudia Christian - Helga Katrina Sinclair
James Garner - Commander Lyle Tiberius Rourke
John Mahoney - Preston B. Whitmore
Phil Morris - Dr. Joshua Strongbear Sweet
Leonard Nimoy - King Kashekim Nedakh
Don Novello - Vincenzo 'Vinny' Santorini
Jacqueline Obradors - Audrey Rocio Ramirez
Florence Stanley - Wilhelmina Bertha Packard
David Ogden Stiers - Fenton Q. Harcourt
Natalie Strom - Young Kida
Cree Summer - Princess 'Kida' Kidagakash
Jim Varney - Jebidiah Allardyce 'Cookie' Farnsworth

Quoternity