Barhi, Katni Quotations

October Road is an ABC television series about a young acclaimed novelist/screenwriter, who has written a best-selling novel based on his hometown friends. He is at a crossroads in his life when he returns to his hometown to teach at the local university, and face the family and friends he left behind.

Pilot [1.1]

Editor: Dufresne College called. They wanna know if you'd be interested in teaching a one-day intensive on the art of the novel.

Nick: Not so much. Dufresne College---that's in my hometown. I haven't been back there in 10 years. There's some people there that might not be so happy to see me.

Editor: Maybe that's why you're blocked. Go back there. Make peace with it all. You've got to get past your fears, kiddo. G. Gordon Liddy was afraid of rats, so he cooked one up and ate it. Fear gone.

Nick: If you're suggesting that I cook and eat my old friends, I can assure you, in their opinion, I already have.

Sam: That house is haunted. You ever seen to To Kill a Mockingbird? You know that guy Boo Radley, in that house is Boo Radley Senior & Boo Radley Junior.

Nick: I know. I grew up there.

Hannah: You've been gone how long now?

Nick: Ten years.

Hannah: Right. I think it was two weeks before my 18th birthday that you left. Yes, I'm quite sure because I remember getting those roses, thinking they were for my birthday, but they weren't. They were a goodbye present as in, goodbye I'm no longer in your present.

Nick: I can explain.

Hannah: It's not necessary.

Nick: Hannah---

Hannah: Truly, don't sweat it. I should go. Um... are you, are you staying long?

Nick: Leave Sunday.

Nick: How old is Sam?

Hannah: He turns 10 in two months.

Nick: Ten...

Hannah: Ten...

[Owen says good-bye to Sam and Sam goes to the door]

Hannah: Umm... good-bye Nick. Good Luck.

turns to leave but turns back around]

Hannah: And don't worry, he's not yours.

[Sam and Nick meet on the street]

Nick: Hey! What are you doing, kid? Got a paper route?

Sam: Yeah, mom thinks it's good for me. Crack of dawn, fresh air, current events. Character building stuff. What are you doing out this early?

Nick: Same thing. Trying to build some character. Hey, let me ask you a question. What do you think about your mom's boyfriend?

Sam: Big Cat?

Nick: Yeah.

Sam: He's OK, I guess. Although, sometimes, I think he's trying to murder me.

Nick: Look, I really am sorry, Eddie. I never thought anyone would get torn up in the process, especially you. I left here that summer with every intention of coming back to the Ridge. Then on the last night of the trip... I'm literally packing my bags and... I remembered something mom told me before she died. She said "You gotta promise me, Nicky... never to settle for anything less than unexpected adventure." And I couldn't kick the feeling that if I came back here, I'd be have giving up on that. It's like once I stayed away... staying away became a way. Any of this make sense?

Eddie: Hey Ikey! What do you even know about Janet? She may be the coolest person in this bar, but you'll never find out 'cuz you're too busy judging her on the outside, instead of finding out what's on the inside.

Ikey: All right, maybe I should find out what's on the inside. My guess is cake. Lots of cake.

Ikey: I got a bone to pick. I read your book 3 times. I still can't figure out which character is suppose to be me.

Nick: That's 'cuz there wasn't a character based on you.

Ikey: Well now I'm really pissed!

Nick: Ronnie didn't tell you I was coming home.

The Commander: No, no. Long term effects of marijuana and video games have affected him in the short term.

[Flashback: Hannah and Nick are in bed together, Eddie enters the room]

Eddie: Ohhhhh... goodbye sex, huh? It's always the best kind.

Hannah: How would you know? You never say goodbye. You're always around.

The Pros and Cons of Upsetting the Applecart [1.2]

The Commander: Hey! [takes a bb-gun away from Ronnie] Just because you are an idiot, it doesn't mean you have to act like one.

Aubrey: And thus, the arsonist returns to the scene of his last great blaze.

Nick: Going down in flames does seem to be the motive.

Nick: Game over.

Ronnie: Not true. I think we can do much better. Forget about Hannah and aging documents. Nothing beats a live testimonial. It's like I always said--"If you can't deliver the bacon, bring them the pig!"

Nick: You always say that?

Ronnie: Well, I will from now on.

Nick: Look, I'm trying to confront this stuff that I ran from years ago. And I'm willing to face anything, anything that comes my way. I will not leave you, Dean Etwood. Or your students either. This time I'm not leaving anything until it's ready to be left.

Dean Leslie Etwood: Well, what an inspirational tale. But right now, Mr. Garrett, I'm going back to sleep.

[The Commander arrives with a cat he just picked up off the street at Knights Ridge Veterinary Care, only to come closer to Sam]

Hannah: This is yours, Mr. Garrett?

The Commander: Yeah, that's right.

Hannah: How old is this cat?

The Commander: He's 7.

Hannah: This cat is a female.

The Commander: [smiles] Yeah.

Hannah: And, um, what's her name?

The Commander: [looks at a picture of a sunrise on the wall] Sunrise.

Hannah: [notices he made up the name] And, um, what's wrong with Sunrise?

The Commander: I don't know. He's just a little... sluggish.

Hannah: She.

The Commander: She.

Hannah: Well I'll take a look at her.

The Commander: Ok that's great well I guess I'll be going now. [leaves the office]

Sam: Mom why did he bring in Buster?

Hannah: I don't know [turns to look at a confused coworker] This is our cat.

Dean Leslie Etwood: What makes you think you can actually teach? And please, don't tell me it's because you wrote a popular novel.

Nick: No! No. But... the journey. Getting there. The journey that those students wish to embark upon. I can share my experience.

Dean Leslie Etwood: Then let's talk about that journey.

Nick: Let's talk about it.

Dean Leslie Etwood: The, ahm, epic struggle of a coward who left his home, wrote a book about the friends and family that he abandoned for reasons unknown and now is afraid to face his own life. A teacher by nature is a leader and a leader is someone who embraces their life. Not one who runs away from it. In all the world Mr. Garrett, my students have nothing to learn from you.

Hannah: All I'm asking from you Nick is just please, please, please, PLEASE!, just don't UPSET THE APPLECART!

Eddie: So you want to go check out my singing koala bear in my attic.

Janet: Are you asking me out?

Eddie: Yea, I guess I am. Why don't you think about it and let me know.

Janet: Tell you what, I'll think about it.

Tomorrow's So Far Away [1.3]

Nick: Alright, phase one. First things first. You got to get her interest.

Sam: But I don’t play soccer.

Nick: You don’t get her interest by doing things she likes, that just makes you seem desperate.

Sam: Do you have a girlfriend?

Nick: We're just going to keep the focus on you. 'K?

Phil: You have no concept of other people? Do you... I mean, it’s like everyone is supposed to be on your schedule.

Eddie: You don’t leave the house. How is it that you’re the busiest guy I know?

Pizza Girl: Hey, um, you don't write manifestos, do you?

Phil: What do you mean?

Pizza Girl: Tracts, screeds, ideological rants, anti-technology mantras hating on mechanizations and machines in industrial society? I mean, you don't just write those, do you?

Phil: No.

Pizza Girl: I just think critical perspective is really important, that's all, for everything. You know, my dad - when he runs out of staples, he throws out the entire stapler. I'm sorry. I go on. I just feel the need to let conversations linger. It's like I don't know how to end them. You know, my friend Sarah - she says for my birthday she's gonna get me a carton of periods. The punctuation mark, not the menstrual cycle. God, a carton of menstrual cycles. How do you even wrap that?

Phil: I don't know.

Pizza Girl: Yeah. Um, your pizza's getting cold, so... um... I should go. See you later.

Phil: Yeah. I'll see you later.

Pizza Girl: Your eyes...they're off the hinge.

Phil: What?

Pizza Girl: They're beautiful...and...I should know...because I get a lot of looks.

Phil: No, that pizza had plenty of feta on it. I, I called you back because I was wondering if you’d like to go in sometime.

Pizza Girl: Go in?

Phil: It’s like going out only you do it here.

Pizza Girl: So... what they say is true?

Phil: What do they say?

Pizza Girl: You don’t leave.

Phil: Yes, it’s true I don’t.

Pizza Girl: Mrs. Kesler told me.

Phil: She did. I can’t believed she narked. I, I... All those years I pretended to love those bundt cakes.

Pizza Girl: She said, in this day and age when it’s impossible to count on anyone... what could be better than knowing there’s a guy who will always be there.

Phil: She said that?

Pizza Girl: She did.

Nick: Was the girl impressed?

Principal: Excuse me?

Hannah: Nick!

Nick: I’m just curious. If we’re to assume that he did this to impress a girl, I think it’d be nice to know if it had the desired effect.

Principal: I don’t see how that...

Hannah: Because if he did impress her he may be inclined to do it again.

Nick: We need to know.

Hannah: To dissuade him. Sam?

Sam: I think it did impress her. She laughed and giggled.

Hannah: A laugh and a giggle.

Nick: Wait, wait. What’s the difference?

Principal: What? What difference?

Nick: Between a laugh and a giggle.

Sam: A giggle happens after you realized you’ve...

Hannah: Laughed too much. It’s a subconscious thing.

Sam: Right!

Hannah: You’re embarrassed for laughing overtly so you devolve into a nervous giggle.

Sam: Exactly!

Principal: Excuse me! What are we doing here?

Sam: And I do believe there was a blush.

Hannah: A blush?

Nick: Ah, now did you hear that Principal Harrison? There was a blush.

Principal: Yes, extraordinary. I’d like you all to leave my office now.

Janet: I maybe have a maybe date.

Hannah: What’s a maybe date?

Janet: As in, maybe he won’t call. Uh, maybe if he does I won’t go. Maybe it’s not even a date. Maybe I wish I hadn’t said anything.

Hannah: Who’s the maybe date with?

Janet: Maybe not ready to talk about that yet.

Hannah: Well I think it’s great that maybe you have a maybe date.

Nick: Oh, umm... So I heard that you and Eddie Latekka were hanging out. Are you guys becoming friends?

Aubrey: Why do you ask? Are you jealous?

Nick: Excuse me?

Aubrey: Do you want to be hanging out with Eddie Latekka?

Nick: Actually, yeah I do.

Aubrey: Give him time.

Hannah: The whole time I was yelling at him I just wanted to grab him and kiss him... I wanted to grab him and kiss him. Oh my God, I wanted to grab him and kiss him!

Janet: Now that's advanced.

Secrets and Guys [1.4]

Ronnie: We gotta talk bro.

Nick: About what?

Ronnie: About the Commander.

Nick: What about him?

Ronnie: I think he’s dating.

Nick: What?! Dating? Like, woman?

Aubrey: I can't tell you how much I liked kissing you at Pumpkin Fest.

Nick: I can't tell you how much I liked being kissed by you at Pumpkin Fest.

Aubrey: I think we should do it again sometime.

Nick: I think so too.

Aubrey: Well, I'm free in four seconds.

[Dean Leslie Etwood walks in just as Nick and Aubrey are about to kiss]

Dean Leslie Etwood: College employees should be honest in carrying out their duties, and avoid conflicts between their private interests and their professional responsibilities. All this in a groovy little tome called the "Dufresne College Teacher Code of Conduct". Allow me to boil it down to its basic bits. Your chances of survival here are determined by which is more important to you; your class or... the lass.

[Sam finds Eddie at the barbecue, after he stood up Janet]

Sam: Interesting.

Eddie: What?

Sam: Or maybe disappointing is more like it.

Eddie: Your mom here?

Sam: No, she couldn’t make it. She’s too busy convincing the nicest person in all of Knight's Ridge that you’re not as bad as you seem right now.

Eddie: You’re a little out of your station here Sam, don’t you think?

Sam: Why didn’t you bring her? ‘Fraid of getting teased?

Eddie: It’s a tough lesson about getting older Sam, but everyone has a role in the big picture. If somebody stops serving that role, then, the whole thing crumbles.

Sam: So what’s your role?

Eddie: To date a…certain kind of girl…the really beautiful kind

Sam: You know when horses make poop? My grandmother calls it pucky.

Eddie: So?

Sam: Everything you’ve just said, I’m pretty sure is horse pucky. And Janet? I think she is the beautiful kind.

Ronnie: Dad?

The Commander: Ronnie... hey. Ahh...

Ronnie: [to Leslie] Who are you?

The Commander: Now, I, I know you’ve had your suspicions and I should have done this a lot sooner, but…this is Leslie.

Dean Leslie Etwood: It is so nice to meet you Ronnie.

Ronnie: What’s going on?

The Commander: Ronnie... Leslie’s my girlfriend.

[Ronnie looks at Leslie in disbelief]

The Commander: Ronnie... Ronnie, please.

[Ronnie hugs Leslie]

Ronnie: Thank you, he’s been so lonely. Thank you very much.

The Infidelity Tour [2.3]

Sam: So I guess that means you'll have time to open your window business

Nick: Yeah I guess, truth is it's something that Eddie and I always planned on doing since we were kids. Best Friend Windows is what we called it

Sam: Kind of a dorky name isn't it?

Nick: We were ten

Sam: I'm ten

Nick: Yeah, but you're...

Sam: different kind of dork?

Nick: Different kind of 10.

Owen: He pulls over? He can't comfort her with one hand? One hand on the wheel, one hand comforting? How bout no hands comforting? Why do hands have to be involved at all in the comforting process?

Deck the Howls [2.4]

Eddie: Where did you get this dog?

Janet: Monk McGillicuddy came into the bar last week with a litter of puppies.

Eddie: Monk McGillicuddy who set fire to the church our senior year of high school.

Janet: Um, I guess. Why?

Eddie: No reason except that this is not a puppy.

Janet: What do you mean it’s not a puppy?

Eddie: It’s a wolf.

Janet: What do you mean it’s a wolf?

Eddie: I mean it’s a wolf.

Janet: I got you a wolf?

Eddie: Yeah, you got me a wolf.

Once Around the Block [2.5]

The Commander: You need to go out. Find a girl.

Nick: That is the last thing I need. I need a vacation from girls. A girl vacation. Do you know what a girl vacation is dad?

The Commander: Prison.

Cast

Bryan Greenberg - Nick Garrett
Laura Prepon - Hannah Daniels
Tom Berenger - The Commander
Odette Yustman - Aubrey
Warren Christie - Ray "Big Cat" Cataldo
Brad William Henke - Owen Rowan
Evan Jones - Ikey
Jay Paulson - Physical Phil
Slade Pearce - Sam Daniels
Geoff Stults - Eddie Latekka
Rebecca Field - Janet Meadows

Quoternity