Bedazzled

Directed by Harold Ramis . Written by Peter Cook.

The Devil

• I am the Devil! Satan, Lucifer, Beelzebub, the Prince of Darkness! Well, the princess, anyway...
• Do you have $3.47? I've left my purse in the Underworld.
• Seven utterly fabulous wishes for one piddling little soul?
• There's no point fighting about this. You have to learn to accept the inevitable. We are all doomed anyway.
• See you in HELL!
• Yes, there's a God. Most men think they're God, this one just happens to be right

Elliot

• I'm telling you, the Devil gypped me for a hamburger!
• HOLA! MUCHO GUSTO! Me llamo Elliot! Hola Juan. Hola Esteban. Donde esta es la bibleoteca? Esta es la casa de mi tia.
• No gracias, Soy alérgico a los crustáceos.
• Qué me decís?....Me hiciste venir hasta aquí para decirme que esteee...cómo se llama? se robó una libra de azúcar, harina o cosas juntas? ... Qué es eso?....(spits) Ay! ES COCAÍNA!, COCAÍNA! ...OH, Mierda! Soy un Narcotraficante Colombiano.

Dialogue

The Devil: It's [your soul] like your appendix. You'll never even miss it.

Elliot: Oh, yeah? If it's so useless, how come you want it so much?

The Devil: Oh, aren't you the clever one?

Elliot: I wish to be the world's most sensitive man. Oh, wait! I wish I were the most emotionally sensitive man in the world.

The Devil: Damn. I was hoping you wouldn't catch that. I could've had a lot of fun with that one.

Inmate: What are you in for, brother?

Elliot: Eternity.

Inmate: Oooh. You must've done some really bad shit.

Elliot: The worst— I sold my soul.

Inmate: Well, I hope you got something good for it.

Elliot: Actually, I got nothing for it.

Inmate: Sounds like a really bad deal, if you ask me.

Elliot: (glances over) I'm not asking you.

Inmate: Doesn't matter. You can't sell your soul. It doesn't really belong to you in the first place. No way, no how.

Elliot: Is that so? The who does it belong to?

Inmate: (looks straight at Elliot) It belongs to God: that universal spirit that animates and binds all things in existence. The Devil's gonna try and confuse you. That's her game.

Cast

• Elizabeth Hurley — The Devil
• Brendan Fraser — Elliot