Cellular (film) Quotations

Cellular is a 2004 suspense thriller starring Chris Evans, Kim Basinger, Jason Statham, and William H. Macy. It is about Jessica (played by Basinger), a high-school biology teacher who is taken from her home by five assailants to an unknown location, and Ryan, a young man who she calls as she puts together a broken telephone. The film follows him in his attempts to save her and her family, making sure that the connection is not broken.

Directed by David R. Ellis. Written by Larry Cohen and Chris Morgan.

Ryan

[after shooting the number taker in the store] Now who's gonna give me that goddamn charger?

"Ricky Martin"? You named your kid "Ricky Martin"?

[after stealing the lawyer's car] Ohh, I am in deep shit!

[after he views the tape] I'm a dead man.

Chad

[greeting girls at the pier] Hey Chloe. Sam. Friend with nipples.

[seeing Ryan with a box of fliers to pass out] Haha - that sucks. [Ryan shoves the box at him] No way! This sucks more!

Mooney

[As he shoots someone for the first time in his entire career] 27 years. 27 years without this shit!

[Talking to the fake Jessica Martin] We had a report of a possible kidnapping. You haven't been kidnapped today, have you? [Chuckles]

WLSUU2 Lawyer

[trying to get his car out of the impound lot] Okay, fine... I'm getting out my checkbook. Who do I make it out to? "Lady Who Sucks?"

[Talking on his cell phone] I'm tellin' ya, I'm sitting in it right now. It's a brand new Porsche Carrera. The partners gave it to me. Mm-Hm, sugar. Brand new, arctic blue convertible. It goes zero to 60 in 5.2 seconds. Takes the girls' panties down in 3.5 seconds. [Phone line gets suddenly disrupted by Jessica and Ryan] Hey, this is a private call. Get off my line! Mom, are you still there?

Jessica

Jessica Martin: [after slashing a kidnapper's arm with a shard of glass] Tenth grade biology. Brachial artery... pumps 30 liters of blood a minute. There's only five in the human body. I'm sorry.

Dialogue

Ricky Martin: Mom, will you still be a science teacher when I get into high school?

Jessica Martin: Hmm... You never know. Why?

Ricky Martin: 'Cause I think it'd be kind of weird to have your mom as a teacher.

Ryan: It's Chloe!

Chad: No, dude, don't do this! Don't do this!

Ryan: I'm just gonna say "hi."

Chad: You're not gonna say "hi."

Ryan: No "hi"?

Chad: No "hi."

Ryan: I can't say...

Chad: [shouts] Come on, man! Hold it together! This girl, she dumped you, all right? Have some self-respect, have some dignity!

Ryan: You're right.

Chad: Be strong.

Ryan: You're right.

Chad: Yeah.

Ryan: Thank you.

Chad: All right.

[he gets distracted by girls in bikinis]

Chad: Oh! What's goin' on, ladies?

[Ryan leaves to go talk to Chloe]

[talking to Ryan on a payphone]

Chad: Dude, I have no idea what just happened. One minute I'm talking to nipples, next thing you know, I'm wearing a whale costume handing out flyers.

Ryan: [laughs] That sucks. Sounds like she got you.

Chad: I mean, I'm not saying it doesn't have its benefits.

[two girls that pass him by]

Chad: Hey, you guys know that a blue whale's got an 11-foot penis? Heal the Bay.

Jessica Martin: When I didn't show up for work today someone called the police, I'm sure.

Greer: You better hope they didn't.

WLSUU2 Lawyer: [after Ryan swerves his car in front of him] What the hell is your problem, man? What the hell is your problem? You want to tussle?

Ryan: [pulls out his gun] Give me your phone!

WLSUU2 Lawyer: Oh snaps.

Ryan: Look, give me your phone or I shoot your car.

WLSUU2 Lawyer: Oh, hell no, hell no. Why would you do something awful like that?

[Ryan accidentally dials an artist on a payphone at Santa Monica Pier trying to reach Jessica's kidnappers]

Ryan: I got what you're looking for.

Vietnamese Artist: Oh?

Ryan: Yeah.

Vietnamese Artist: Okay, and what I do for it?

Ryan: What?

Vietnamese Artist: What I do for what I looking for? You tell me now.

Ryan: Wait, who's this? What number did I call?

Vietnamese Artist: You call me on the payphone. You waste my time. I have pictures to draw.

Ryan: Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude. Chill out.

Vietnamese Artist: No, you don't tell me what to chill. My mother tell me to chill. I sit here, I draw people telling me to chill out all the time. You don't tell me what to chill. I chill you.

Ryan: [Ryan and Ethan are discussing a place to meet] Santa Monica Pier.

Ethan: No, too busy.

Ryan: Yeah, that's kind of the idea, dickhead.

Ryan: It doesn't make any sense, I give you the video, then you turn around and take us out.

Greer: I swore I wouldn't do that.

Ryan: Just like you swore "to protect and serve"?

Ethan: [on walkie talkie] We found him yet?

Dmitri: No, I don't see him.

Ethan: He's the one on the cell phone, you idiot.

[looks through his binoculars and sees various people on cell phones]

Dmitri: Everybody's on a cell phone.

Jack Tanner: I think all the chemicals from that beauty salon have gotten to your head.

Mooney: It's a day spa, you fuck.

[Mooney hesitates a bit, then shows Tanner Ryan's Cell Phone, front facing Tanner's face]

[Greer has Ryan pinned down and is about to shoot him]

Mooney: Let him up.

[Greer looks up and sees Mooney pointing a gun at him]

Ryan: Help me. They're dirty cops!

Greer: He attacked my partner. He tried to kill me.

Mooney: I said, "Let him up."

Greer: You're going to believe this lying piece of shit over a cop?

Mooney: It doesn't matter what I believe. What's important is that you believe I will put a bullet in your skull if you don't let him up.

Jessica Martin: I don't know if there's anything I could ever do to thank you

Ryan: I do. Don't ever call me again.

Quoternity