Charade

Dialogue

[When Peter Joshua (Grant) first meets Regina 'Reggie' Lampert (Hepburn)]

Peter: Oh, forgive me. [indicating Jean-Louis, the son of Reggie's friend] Does he belong to you?

Reggie: [indicating Sylvie]: It's hers. Where'd you find him, robbing a bank?

Peter: He was throwing snowballs at Baron Rothschild. [pause] We don't know each other, do we?

Reggie: Why? Do you think we're going to?

Peter: I don't know -- how would I know?

Reggie: Because I already know an awful lot of people; until one of them dies, I couldn't possibly meet anyone else.

Peter [smiling]: Mmm. Well, if anyone goes on the critical list, let me know. [he starts off]

Reggie: Quitter!

Peter [turning]: How's that? What? What?

Reggie: You give up awfully easy, don't you?

[Sylvie sizes up the situation and rises.]

Sylvie: Viens, Jean-Louis, let us make a walk. I have never seen a Rothschild before.

[The boy squirts Peter with his water pistol before leaving.]

Peter [drying himself]: Clever fellow -- almost missed me.

Reggie: You're blocking my view.

Peter [moving]: Sorry. Which view would you prefer?

Reggie: The one you're blocking. This is the last chance I have -- I'm flying back to Paris this afternoon. What's your name?

Peter: Peter Joshua.

Reggie: Oh, mine's Regina Lampert.

Peter: Is there a Mr. Lampert?

Reggie: Yes.

Peter: Good for you.

Reggie: No, it isn't. I'm getting a divorce.

Peter: Please, not on my account.

Reggie: No, you see, I don't really love him.

Peter: Well, at least you're honest, anyway.

Reggie: Yes, I am -- I'm compulsive about it -- dishonesty infuriates me. Like when you go into a drugstore.

Peter: I'm not sure I...

Reggie: Well, you go in and you ask for some toothpaste -- the small size -- and the man brings you the large size. You tell him you wanted the small size but he says the large size is the small size. I always thought the large size was the largest size, but he says that the family size, the economy size and the giant size are all larger than the large size -- that the large size is the smallest size there is.

Peter: Oh. I guess.

Reggie: Is there a Mrs. Joshua?

Peter: Yes, but we're divorced.

Reggie: That wasn't a proposal -- I was just curious.

Peter: Is your husband with you?

Reggie: Oh, Charles is hardly ever with me. First it was separate rooms -- now we're trying it with cities. What do people call you -- Pete?

Peter: Mr. Joshua. [turning to go] Well, I've enjoyed talking with you.

Reggie: Now you're angry.

Peter: No, I'm not -- I've got some packing to do. I'm also going back to Paris today.

Reggie: Oh. Well, wasn't it Shakespeare who said, "When strangers do meet, they should ere long see one another again"?

Peter: Shakespeare never said that!

Reggie: How do you know?

Peter: It's terrible -- you just made it up.

Reggie: Well, the idea's right, anyway. Are you going to call me?

Peter: Are you in the book?

Reggie: (Well) Charles is.

Peter: Is there only one Charles Lampert?

Reggie: Lord, I hope so.

Reggie: Do you know what's wrong with you?

Peter: No, what?

Reggie: Nothing!