Daffy Duck Quotations

Daffy Duck is an animated cartoon character in the Warner Bros. Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies series of cartoons.

From Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies cartoons

(First ever line) Porky: "Hey, th-th-th-that wasn't in the script! Daffy: "Don't let it worry ya, Skipper. I'm just a crazy, darn fool duck. Hoo-hoo Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo..." - Porky's Duck Hunt
"....because I'm a SPLIT PERSONALITY, see! A schit - a schit - a SCHITZOPHRENIAC!!"
"A SMASHING FRONTAL ATTACK ON ENEMY REAR?!"
"A Methersthmidt. A Meth of Mthersthmidts... a METH of METHERSTHMIDTS!" -- Daffy- The Commando
"ALACAZAM! ALACAZAM! ALACAZAM!"
"Anchorin' for trouble, eh?! Well I would like - (I would like?! I would like a trip to Europe!) - I would like to introduce myself: Drip-Along Daffy's the name! (pushes hat forward over brow)" -- Drip-Along Daffy
"Aw, buck up, BB Eyes. Here, have a swig o' swampwater!"
"Duck hunters is da cwaziest peoples!"
"I'm not crazy, I just don't give a darn!"
"I'm so crazy I don't know this isn't possible."
(Daffy has blown himself up for a grand finale; the audience cheers)
Bugs Bunny: That's terrific, Daffy! They loved it. They want more.
Daffy Duck: (as a ghost rising to heaven)
I know, I know, but I can only do it once. -- Show Biz Bugs
(After not being fooled by a fake female duck) Taint funny, McGee!
"Awww! But, Honeybunch! Sittin' on eggs is sissy-stuff!" -- Quackodile Tears
"Awfully sporting of the little black duck" -- Daffy Doodles
"Can you imagine anything so ridiculous as majority rule?"
"Come on!! Challenge ME!!"
"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."
"Daffy Duck he had a farm, eee eey eee eey oh. And on this farm he had an igloo, eee eey... eee... eey... oh?" -- Duck Amuck
"Don't beat me massah! Don't whip dis poor ol' body! No!"
"Don't shush me!! I'LL MAKE ALL THE NOISE I WANNA!!!"
"Don't stir yourself sir...I'll muzzle that inebriated cannary!"
"Drip-Along Daffy's 'ma name! Anybody care to shoot it out? Man to man? Under western skies? West of the Pecos? Tumbleweeds at ten paces? 10,000 head the cattle? Cut 'em off at the pass? Prairies? Lariats? ...Anyone for tennis? Anybody? ...Well, reckon I'll have me a little bracer!" --Drip-Along Daffy
"Gad! This comic's a real page turner. It's thlopping over with gripping suspense."
"Gee! Thanks, chum. How'd ya know I like lollipops?"
"Get me a proctologist right away!!"
"Gruesome, isn't it?"
"HEY, BUB, YOU NEED A HOUSE TO GO WITH THIS DOOR-KNOB!!"
"HEY! What's the matter with me? I'm Duck Twacy!!!"
"Ha ha, it's me again. WOO HOO WOO HOO" -- Daffy Duck in Hollywood
"HO! HA HA! GUARD! TURN! PARRY! DODGE! SPIN! HA! THRUST!" *WHACK*
"Hocus pocus. Flippety flam. A razzamatazz and ALACAZAM!!"
"Hoo-Hoo, Hoo-Hoo!"
"H-Y-M-I-E! H-Y-M-I-E! H-Y-M-I-E! HYMIE! HYMIE!! HYMIE!!!! "
"I am a duck bent on self-preservation." -- Duck Rabbit Duck
"I can't stand pain, it hurts me!"
"I may be a craven little coward, but I'm a greedy craven little coward."
"I think you're pretty tough, don't I?!"
"If you wasn't me, I'd smack you right in the puss!" -- Duck Amuck
"I'm allergic to pain, save me!"
"I'm not crazy! I just don't give a darn! WOO HOO! WOO HOO!"
"I'm rich! I'm a happy miser!"
"I'm so crazy, I don't know this is impossible. WOO HOO!"
"I've worked with a lot of wise-quackers, but you are dethpsicable!"
"It's mine, ya understand? Mine, MINE, all MINE!, get back in there!, down down down!, go go go!, mine mine mine! YAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
"Obviously I'm dealing with inferior mentalities."
"Of course you realize, this means war."
Oh, a hunter doesn't worry me, Woo Hoo Hoo, Woo Hoo Hoo!
A Hunter doesn't worry me because I'm Daffy Duck
When a hunter shoots his gun at me, A BANG BANG BANG (tap tap tap)
When a hunter shoots his gun at me, he's just out of luck!
Oh brother, I'm a buzzboy! -- Duck Amuck
Oh ho ho ho, duck hunters is the cwaziest peoples. Ha ha ha.
"oh, ooh, I'm just shivering to destruction"
"Oh, the little man from the draa-aaa-ft board he is coming to see me. Oh, the little man from the dee-de-du-DRAFTBOARD!?!" -- Draftee Daffy
Oh, people call me Daffy, they say that I am gooney. Just because I'm happy is no sign I'm Looney Tuney.
When they call me nutsy, that sure gives me a pain. Please pass the ketchup, I think it's going to rain.
Oh, you can't bounce a meatball, though try with all your might. Turn on the radio, I want to fly a kite!
Good evening, frieeeeeeeends...
"One for the money, two for the show, three to make ready, and four to GEROOOOONIMOOOOOOOO!!"
"Only a dirty rat would do that, or a dirty duck! So that's the way he wants to play?"
"OOOOOOH NOOOOOO! OOOOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOO! Sittin' on eggs is out. O-W-T Out!"
"Shoot me again! I enjoy it! I love the smell of burnt feathers... and gun powder... and cordite. I'm an elk! Shoot me! Go on!! It's elk season! I'm a fiddler crab. Why don't you shoot me?! It's fiddler crab season!" -- Duck Rabbit Duck
"Silence is Foo!"
"Starting from where we are we go 33,600 turbo miles due up. Then west in an arc-deviation to here. Then following the Great Circle several radiolubes south by down-east. By astro-astralmov to here then here. The by space navico-cumpus to here and here and then to here and here. Then 13 point strato-cumulus going 4 million light years and THUS to our destination."
"Thanks for the sour persimmons, cousin."
"There's going to be a sneak preview--and the sneaks aren't going to like it!"
"There was nothing for the Scarlet Pumpernickel to do....... but blow his brains out. Which he did. BLAM!!"
"WATCH IT, BUB!!"
"Well, I guess I'm the goat." -- Duck Rabbit Duck
"Well what'y'a know! He's colder than a foundered flounder!"
"Well, where's the rest of me??!!"
"When it di-th-inegrates, boy, it di-th-inegrates! ....oh, whaddaya know, it di-th-th-inegrated"
"Why the copious flow of lachrymal fluid, my garrulous canine?"
Woo Hoo Hoo, they'll never catch this little duck!
But I'd surely get some buck shot
right in some vital duck spot
if it wasn't that I'm shot so full of luck!
"Ya to be Drawn and quartered!"
"Yes, it had to be me! Poor me! It couldn't be him! It couldn't be you! It had to be me!!! AH HA HA HA HA!!!"
"Yoicks, and Away! (crash) Yoicks, and Away! (crash) Yoicks, and Away... (crash) Yoicks...and...Away...(crash) Yoicks and away (crash) Yoicks...(crash)...and away (crash). Why You! (chops all the trees down) Now then, yoicks and away! (eventually crashes into a boulder)
"You have insulted me! We meet on the field of onion!"
"You sly SON OF A. . . (to Bugs Bunny on his 50th anniversary)
"You're deth-picable!" -- Duck Rabbit Duck
"YOU'RE KILLING ME! I'M BEING MURDERED!!! I can't stand this torture anymmore, I'M DYIN' YOU'RE KILLING ME!!! I'm tellin' ya J.L., you're typecasting me to death. Comedy! always Comedy! ha-ha, WOO-HOO WOO-HOO, Yuck Yuck! Honest J.L., you just gotta give me a dramatic part!" --The Scarlet Pumpernickel
"J.L. WARNER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!" --Duck Amuck
(After being let out of Porky Pig's deep freezer) "What a trip! What a trip! Blizzards all the way! Snow 20 feet deep! But we had to get that serum through! It was mush, mush, mush all night! (Grabbing the dog and pushing him like a sled dog) Come on, mush, mush, mush, mush, mush! Suddenly, the glacier cracks! There's a roar! Tons of ice! No escape! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! How things been with you?"

--Daffy Duck Hunt

Ah-ha! Now I've got the bead on you with MY disintegrating pistol! And brother, when it disintegrates, it disintegrates!" (Pulls trigger; the pistol disintegrates) "Heh, what do you know... It disintegrated." --Duck Dodgers in the 24th 1/2 Century
Any one for tennis?
Yeah. Cute like a stomach pump!

From theatrical movies

"Does anybody understand what this duck is saying?" - Who Framed Roger Rabbit
Bugs: Eh, what gives, doc? We made thirty-five pictures togetha'.
Elmer: Well, as it turns out, I'm secwetwy evil.
Daffy: That's showbiz for ya! - Looney Tunes: Back in Action
"It's supply and demand! They supply the ghost, and I demand the money!" - Daffy Duck's Quackbusters
Daffy: You wasted a wish! I wish that burrito was stuck on your big dumb nose!
Speedy Gonzales: (the burrito appears on his nose) Help! Get it off. I can't breathe nothing but burrito!
Daffy: Well Sam, it looks like we'll have to use your wish to get the burrito off his nose. It's the only humane thing to do. Sam? Sam?
Yosemite Sam: Too late, Duck, I already wished for a pirate ship. After I sinks a certain pesky rabbit, I'll come back and pick you up!
Daffy: Oooooh! You're despicable! - Daffy Duck's Movie: Fantastic Island
"Too bad you can't practice getting taller, boys!" - Space Jam
"It just goes to show you, you gotta kill yourself to win an Oswald in this town!" - The Looney Looney Looney Bugs Bunny Movie
"Sell my Warner Brothers stock! I got an inside tip that Bugs Bunny's about to die!" - Looney Tunes: Back in Action
"Oh, fear clutches my breast!" - Space Jam
"What a hypocrite! What a jip! Community service, eh? I'll give 'em community service! I'll see that ingrate ghosts get whiped off the face of the earth! I'll rid the world of disgusting echtoplasmic slime, like J.P. Cubish... (loud thunder) ...er, I mean, NICE echtoplasmic slime, like J.P. Cubish!" - Daffy Duck's Quackbusters
(as Bugs fights Marvin outside) "What am I gonna do? What would Damian Drake do? What would Duck Dodgers do?... Wait a minute, I am Duck Dodgers! ("spins" into his Duck Dodgers outfit) Yes! I'm going to be the hero of this picture! (straps one of five rockets on) Duck Dodgers to the rescue! (the rocket blows up; Daffy straps on the second rocket) Duck Dodgers to the... (the rocket blows up; Daffy straps on the third rocket) Duck Dodge... (the rocket blows up; Daffy looks at the fourth rocket) Duck... (the rocket blows up; Daffy suddenly appears outside the ship with the last rocket strapped on, working) It's You-Know-Who to the rescue! It helps if you don't say the name." - Looney Tunes: Back in Action
"That's the last time I work with somebody with a speech impediment!" - Who Framed Roger Rabbit
Daffy: Say, that's the stuff from my office.
Mr. Warner: You don't have an office.
Mr. Warner's Brother: Not any more.
Daffy: Symbolically, this is bad. Please, Brother? Other Brother? Icy she-wolf? Help me, please. I'm too moist and tender to retire.
Kate: Let me escort you out.
Daffy: Wait! I haven't tried toadying, kowtowing and butt-kissing yet! I'm still begging here! - Looney Tunes: Back in Action
DJ Drake: Cool it, duck. This could be dangerous.
Daffy: Right, we find Dusty Tails, save your dad, get the diamond, apply kung-fu liberally as needed. - Looney Tunes: Back in Action
"We've got to get a new agent. We're getting screwed!" - Space Jam
Daffy: Relax, sister. I don't know the meaning of the word fear!
Yosemite Sam: SAY YOUR PRAYERS, DUCK!
Daffy: Fear: Noun. A state of terror. Yaaaaah! - Looney Tunes: Back in Action
Bugs: Now it's my turn to do an act.
Daffy: Go ahead! I'd love to see the audience boo you off the stage! - The Looney Looney Looney Bugs Bunny Movie
"Hmf! Well, if I'm not going to star in this cartoon, we might as well start the movie." - Gremlins 2: The New Batch

Duck Dodgers

"That Cadet buys the worst Christmas presents." - "The Queen is Wild"
"Farewell, my Queen! We will always have Paris..." - "The Queen is Wild"
"Well whataya know, she loves me! That's just the advantage I need." - "The Queen is Wild"
"And it hasn't been the same without you. Although it's been eerily similar." - "Duck Departure"
"Yahoo! The grand brassiere is back in business, baby!" - "Pig Planet"
Daffy: Don't blame me - the Martian gets one solo cartoon per season.
Porky: Your milk and Cappuccino, Captain!
Daffy: You forgot my Frescatti! - "K-9 Quarry"
"Maybe if I stare at this piece of paper long enough, people will think I can read." - "The Fudd"
(while trying to lift Porky) "I knew I should've cast Speedy Gonzales as my sidekick!" - "Invictus Interruptus"
I.Q. Hi: This is I.Q. Hi, calling Duck Dodgers.
Daffy: Yeah, I recognize you by now. - "Diva Delivery"
Daffy: So, what do you think? Could today end our mutual hatred?
Marvin: Unlikely, Dodgers. Whether at war or peace, I shall always loathe you!
Daffy: You shall always love me?! Eeeew!
Marvin: I said loathe, you idiot! - "Of Course You Know This Means War and Peace"
General Z-9: Dodgers, I loathe you!
Daffy: You love me? Yuck! What is it with you Martians? - "Of Course You Know This Means War and Peace"
"Cadet! You're all right... I mean, besides the fact that you seemed to have completely lost your mind."
"Wow! You're brighter than Las Vegas at Christmastime!" - "Pet Peeved"
"So, this is how it ends. Up to my armpits in filth, about to be devoured by a creature I thought would love me forever. Reminds me of my first marriage." - "Pet Peeved"
Porky: Uh, Captain? Since you're in charge, shouldn't you be in front?
Daffy: Nope, that's the first thing they teach you in Protectorate academy. Protect the important people, disposable drones to the front. It's kinda like the pawns in checkers.
Porky: I don't believe it! We kill ourselves to pull off an impossible assignment just so some glory hound can swoop in and take all the credit!
Daffy: Well, kids, don't let anyone tell you this show isn't realistic! - "Invictus Interruptus"
Porky: But you don't know anything about Martian technology.
Daffy: No, but I am good at breaking things. - Duck Dodgers, "Invictus Interruptus"
Daffy: Greetings Captiain, looks like you could use a hand.
Captain Star Johnson: Actually no, we can handle...
Daffy: My pleasure, Dodgers Out!
Captain Star Johnson: Dodgers, nothing can stop you from being a washout on your time. But wen you're forced to share a seat IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU WOULD ATTEMPT TO ACT LIKE AN OFFICER!
Daffy: You know, if I didn't know better...I'd say you had some doubts about my captaining abilities.
Captain Star Johnson: I think you are completely devoid of merit.
Daffy:Just too bad you don't have the courage to speak your mind...
Captain Star Johnson: YOU'RE A DANGER TO YOURSELF AND EVERYONE AROUND YOU!
Daffy: Why don't you tell me what you really think Johnson, or ARE YOU TOO SCARED?!
Captain Star Johnson: A DISGRACE to all who wear the uniform. A Biological mistake!
Daffy: Oh, don't try to sweet-talk me now! Its too late!
"Did I miss the Great Pumpkin?! Did he leave us any toys?!" - "Pet Peeved"
"Cutesy wutesy sugar plum? No! Hideous, terrifying monster? Yes!" - "Pet Peeved"
"Ooooooo-eeeee! Sorry to cut off the tunes, fellow vagrants, but I'm Patch Scartissue, and I want you all to see that I ain't afraid of nothin', not even paper cuts! [slits his finger with an envelope] Aaaaaaah!!" [faints] - "Boar to be Riled"

Other shows

"I tell ya J.F, it'll be a smash! Honey, I Shrunk the Laundry, starring Daffy Duck! Whaddaya think? (is kicked out) Philistines!" - Tiny Toon Adventures, "The Looney Beginning"
Loud Kiddington: DUCK!
Daffy: Will you knock it off!? Sheesh! A bird could develop a complex around here! - Histeria!, "Hooray for Presidents"
"[The Warners'] first cartoon was the most bizarre thing I'd ever seen. If I remember it correctly, eh, they had flypaper stuck on their fannies. It was an okay cartoon for a short, but this thing went on for eight hours! Eight hours!" - Animaniacs, "The Warners' 65th Anniversary Special"
"Even though you're kind of little, I'll teach you how to spray your spittle!" - Tiny Toon Adventures, "The Looney Beginning"
Daffy: Plotz!!
Mr. Plotz: Daffy, what can I do for you?
Daffy: It's this Cat & Birdy show!
Mr. Plotz: What about it?
Daffy: I demand it be changed to The Duck & Daffy Duckeroonie Daffy Ducky Duck Cartoonie Show!
Mr. Plotz: But--
Daffy: No "but"s, Plotz! Change it or I'm walking!
Yakko: I've got dibs on his parking space. -Kids' WB! promo
"This dressing room is so small I have to step outside to change my mind!"

Category:Cartoon characters

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