Die Hard: With a Vengeance Quotations

Die Hard: With a Vengeance is a 1995 film about a New York cop who finds himself in a fight for his life as he races around New York, playing a bomber's deadly game.

Directed by John McTiernan. Written by Johnathan Hensleigh & Roderick Thorp.

Think Fast. Look Alive. Die Hard. taglines

John McClane

Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

I never knew Canada could be this much fun.

Say hello to your brother.

[Walking up to two bad guys in a truck] Hey, fellas! Mickey O'Brien, aquaduct security. Hey listen, we got a report of a guy coming through with, uh … eight reindeer. [empties his pistol on them] Yeah, they said he was a jolly old fat guy with a snowy white beard, cute little red 'n' white suit. I'm surprised you didn't see him.

Zeus Carver

[To McClane] You having a nice day, sir? You feeling all right? Not to get too personal, but a white man standing in the middle of Harlem wearing a sign that says "I HATE NIGGERS" has either got some serious personal issues, or not all his dogs are barking.

That's a white man with white problems. Why should I get involved?

Simon Gruber

[Disguised as a City Engineer, surveying the damage caused by one of his bombs] Holy Toledo! Somebody had fun.

As I was going to St. Ives, / I met a man with seven wives. / Every wife had seven sacks, / Every sack had seven cats, / Every cat had seven kittens. / Kittens, cats, sacks, wives, / How many were going to St. Ives?

I'm a soldier, not a monster. Even though I sometimes work for monsters.

Said Simple Simon to the pieman going to the fair, "Give me your pies … or I'll cave your head in."

I think he's dead, my dear.

Money is shit to me. I would not give up McClane for all the gold in your Fort Knox.

Yesterday we were an army with no country. Tomorrow, we have to decide which country we want to buy!

[Addressing his troops] And remember, this is all due to the g-g-g-g-g-g-gullibility of the New York Police Department!

Dialogue

[Zeus has just met McClane]

Zeus: Good morning.

McClane: Good morning.

Zeus: You having a nice day, sir? You feeling all right? Not to get too personal, but a white man standing in the middle of Harlem with a sign that says "I HATE NIGGERS" has either some serious personal issues, or not all his dogs are barking.

[McClane yawns]

Zeus: Hey, I'm talking to you! You've got about three seconds before those guys over their see you, and when they do, they will kill you, understand? You are going to have a very bad day.

[A black gang has seen McClane with the "I HATE NIGGERS" sign and is surrounding him and Zeus]

Black Man: Hey Zeus, he a friend of yours?

Zeus: He look like a friend of mine? I think this dude has just escaped from some hospital. You know, like Belleview.

John McClane: How deep is it cut?

Zeus: How the hell would I know?

John McClane: Just keep pressure on it. Jesus, right? John McClane. Thanks for covering my ass back there. I owe you one.

Zeus: Damn right, you owe me one! Do you know what those guys are doing to my shop right now?

John McClane: Chill out!

Zeus: Chill out? Talk like a white man!

John McClane: Jesus …

Zeus: Why're you calling me "Jesus"? Do I look Puerto Rican?!

John McClane: The guy back there called you Jesus!

Zeus: No, he said "Hey, Zeus"! Father of Apollo? Don't-fuck-with-me-or-else-I'll-shove-a-lighning-bolt-up-your-ass? Zeus! You got a problem with that?

John McClane: No …

[McClane and Zeus have just hijacked a taxi]

Zeus: I used to drive a cab. The fastest way to – whooaaah!

[McClane runs a red light, barely avoiding collision with several cars]

McClane: What were you saying?

Zeus: I was saying, I used to drive a cab. The fastest way south is 9th avenue, but we seem to be going east … what the hell are you doing, McClane?!

McClane: Trust me, I know what I'm doing.

Zeus: Not even God knows what you're doing!

John McClane: Hey, can you pick locks?

Zeus: Is this one of those black things again?

John McClane: Listen, you fail, I cover your ass. I fail, you cover my ass!

Zeus: And if we both fail?

John McClane: Then we're both fucked!

[After McClane and Zeus "requisition" of a man's car]

Zeus: Hey, who was the twenty-first President?

Man: Go fuck yourself!

[McClane and Zeus are speeding through Central Park in a taxicab]

Zeus: Are you aiming for these people?

John McClane: No! [pause] Maybe that mime.

[McClane opens jeep door and a dead body falls out]

Zeus: What are you doing?

McClane: Interrogating him.

Zeus: … And what's he gonna tell you? "I'm dead"?

McClane: Well, I ain't gonna know 'til I ask him now, am I?

McClane: There's gold in the Federal Reserve, and they took a shitload of it! They're heading north in dump trucks!

Cobb: Have you been drinking, McClane?

McClane: No, not since this morning.

FBI agent: Does the name Gruber mean anything to you, Lieutenant?

[Flashback to Hans Gruber falling off the top of Nakatomi Tower]

McClane: It rings a bell, yeah.

McClane: [on the guard's phone] Attention! Attention! Nils is dead! I repeat, Nils is dead, fuckhead. So's his pal, and those four guys from the East German All-Stars. Your boys at the bank, they're gonna be a little late.

Simon Gruber: [on the phone] John … in the back of the truck you're driving, there's 13 billion dollars worth of gold bullion. I wonder, would a deal be out of the question?

McClane: [on the phone] Yeah, I got a deal for you. Come out from that rock you're hiding under, and I'll drive this truck up your ass.

Simon Gruber: [on the phone] How colorful.

Gang member: [pops up] Nicht schießen!

John McClane: [shoots him twice] What was that?

Mathias Targo: [kicks McClane out from behind] He said "don't shoot".

Mathias Targo: I see you all day, little man. Policeman? [kicks McClane] And you don't go away!

John McClane: Yeah, I'm the fucking Energizer bunny. [stabs him in the leg]

Zeus: Don't fucking move.

Simon: [turns around] Oh, the Samaritan.

Zeus: Gimme the goddamn code.

Simon: Code?

[Realizing what Zeus is talking about]

Simon: Oh, you mean for the school. I'm sorry, I can't do that.

Zeus: You call in that code right now, or I'll blow your sick ass into the next world.

Simon: If that's what you gotta do.

[Zeus pulls the trigger on his gun and nothing happens. Simon takes the gun from Zeus.]

Simon: You forgot to take the safety catch off.

[Shoots Zeus in the leg]

Zeus: Oh, God!

Simon: See, that works. Now, where's McClane?

Simon Gruber: [into radio] Bridgeport coast guard, come in, please. [to McClane] They put you on hold?

John McClane: She told me to stay on the line.

Simon Gruber: [laughing] Oh, God, I love this country.

John McClane: You know, your brother was an asshole.

Simon Gruber: [looks up sharply, then laughs] He was an asshole! You – you got his number.

[Later, while being tied to the bomb]

Zeus: Didn't you say you didn't even like your brother?

Simon Gruber: There's a difference between not liking one's brother, and not caring when some dumb, Irish flatfoot drops him out a window.

[While tied to a large bomb]

John McClane: Hey fuckhead. Yeah, you, fuckhead. There's just one thing I gotta know. You got any aspirins? 'Cause I've had a bad fucking headache all day long.

Simon Gruber: [laughs and throws him a bottle of aspirin] Must be your lucky day. Keep the bottle!

[The bomb starts beeping]

Zeus: What the fuck is that?

John McClane: I think I made it mad.

Quoternity