Duck Soup Quotations

Duck Soup is a 1933 film about Rufus T. Firefly, who is named president/dictator of bankrupt Freedonia on the insistence of wealthy Mrs. Teasdale and declares war on neighboring Sylvania.

Directed by Leo McCarey and written by Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby.

Rufus T. Firefly

I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you came home.

Clear? Huh! Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head or tail out of it.

Don't look now, but there's one man too many in this room, and I think it's you.

Dialogue

Mrs. Teasdale: As chairwoman of the reception committee, I welcome you with open arms.

Firefly: Is that so? How late do you stay open?

Mrs. Teasdale: I've sponsored your appointment because I feel you are the most able statesman in all Freedonia.

Firefly: Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say, you cover a lot of ground yourself. You'd better beat it. I hear they're gonna tear you down and put up an office building where you're standing. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here. You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.

Firefly: Not that I care, but where is your husband?

Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead.

Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse.

Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end.

Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away.

Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him.

Firefly: Oh, I see. Then, it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.

Mrs. Teasdale: He left me his entire fortune.

Firefly: Is that so? Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you? I love you! [jumps into her arms]

Mrs. Teasdale: Oh, your Excellency!

Firefly: You're not so bad yourself.

Mrs. Teasdale: The eyes of the world are upon you. Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you.

Firefly: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.

Cast

Groucho Marx - Rufus T. Firefly
Harpo Marx - Pinky (pink wig appeared blonde in black-and-white film)
Chico Marx - Chicolini
Zeppo Marx - Lt. Bob Roland
Margaret Dumont - Mrs. Gloria Teasdale
Raquel Torres - Vera Marcal
Louis Calhern - Ambassador Trentino of Sylvania
Edmund Breese - Zander
Leonid Kinskey - Sylvanian Agitator
Charles Middleton - Prosecutor
Edgar Kennedy - Lemonade Vendor

Quoternity