Happy Gilmore
Happy Gilmore is a 1996 film about a rejected hockey player who puts his skills to the golf course to save his grandmother's house.
He doesn't play golf... he destroys it. taglines
[Shooter McGavin is taking a shot]
[Happy is at the mini-golf course on a clown obstacle]
[Happy hits the ball, but the clown's teeth descend, knocking the ball back and the clown laughs mockingly]
[Happy hits the ball again, but once again, the ball is blocked by the clown's teeth and it laughs mockingly again]
[Happy concentrates and hits the ball. This time, the clown teeth don't descend and the ball goes in]
- Directed by Dennis Dugan. Written by Tim Herlihy and Adam Sandler
Dialogue
- Chubbs: Golf's no different from hockey. It requires talent and self discipline.
- Happy: Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant, probably a great golfer, huge ass.
- Chubbs: Hey, I'll bet your neighbor the accountant can't drive the ball 400 yards. I'll bet your neighbor the accountant doesn't have a shot to get on the Pro Tour!
- Happy: And how would I do that?
- Chubbs: You win the Open tomorrow, and you're automatically on the Pro Tour. Then who knows, maybe you'll win the Tour Championship. Get that gold jacket that I never got.
- Happy: Gold jacket, green jacket, who gives a shit?
[Shooter McGavin is taking a shot]
- Mr. Larson: Trying to reach the green from here, Shooter?
- Shooter McGavin: That's not possible, sir.
- Mr. Larson: I beg to differ, Happy Gilmore accomplished that feat no more than an hour ago.
- Shooter McGavin: (turning round and seeing Mr. Larson) Well, moron, good for Happy Gilm-OH MY GOD!!
[Happy is at the mini-golf course on a clown obstacle]
- Chubbs: All right, this one's very tough.
[Happy hits the ball, but the clown's teeth descend, knocking the ball back and the clown laughs mockingly]
- Happy: (sarcastically) Ha ha ha, he's laughing, he's having a good time, good for you, yeah laugh, enjoy your night, ha ha ha!
- Chubbs: Come on, Happy,concentrate.
[Happy hits the ball again, but once again, the ball is blocked by the clown's teeth and it laughs mockingly again]
- Happy: (looks ready to attack the clown, but holds himself back) I hate that clown.
- Chubbs: Easy! If you can't beat the clown, how are you gonna beat Shooter McGavin?
[Happy concentrates and hits the ball. This time, the clown teeth don't descend and the ball goes in]
- Happy: Yeah! (Clown makes a hawking noise, spits the ball back out and laughs mockingly again) YOU'RE GONNA DIE, CLOWN!!! (walks up to the clown and smashes its nose off.) YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY?!! I DON'T HEAR YOU LAUGHING NOW!!
- Chubbs: Hey hey hey! Enough! Enough!
- Happy: But I can't do it!
- Chubbs: Come with me Happy. Come on!
- Happy: SUCK YOU STUPID CLOWN!
- Announcer: We haven't seen Happy Gilmore play this badly since his first day on tour. He and Bob Barker are now dead last.
- Barker: I can't believe you're a professional golfer. I think you should be working at the snack bar.
- Happy: You better relax, Bob.
- Barker: There is no way that you could have been as bad at hockey as you are at golf.
- Happy: All right. Let's go!
- [he punches Barker in the face]
- Happy: You like that, old man?! You want a piece of me?!
- Barker: [shakes his head as he get up from the ground] I don't want a piece of you. I want the whole THING!
- [he repeatedly punches Happy vigorously until he hits the water]
- Happy: [angrily emerges from the water] Now you're gonna get it, Bobby!
- [he and Barker continue fighting, and they roll down the hill, until Happy conks Barker in the head and gets back on his feet]
- Man from behind: [cheers Happy on] Happy!
- Happy: The Price is wrong, bitch!
- [Barker suddenly chokes Happy and punches him 3 times]
- Barker: I think you've had enough.
- [Happy tries to get back up again]
- Barker: No?
- [he kicks Happy in the face once more]
- Barker: Now you've had enough. [sets off, then turns back to Happy] Bitch.
- Happy Gilmore: I'll make you a bet. If you get this puck into that net, I'll never bother you again. But if you miss, you have to give me a big fat kiss. And you have to pretend you like it too.
- Virginia: Do you always carry a puck with you?
- Happy Gilmore: Yeah.
- [Virginia shoots puck and scores]
- Happy Gilmore: Holy shit. Talk about your all time backfires.
- Virginia: Happy... I didn't see it go in.
- [They kiss]
Cast
- Adam Sandler - Happy Gilmore
- Christopher McDonald - Shooter McGavin
- Julie Bowen - Virginia Venit
- Frances Bay - Grandma Gilmore
- Carl Weathers - Chubbs Peterson
- Ben Stiller - Nursing Home Orderly
- Allen Covert - Otto
- Bob Barker - Himself
- Richard Kiel - Mr. Larson
- Dennis Dugan - Doug Thompson
- Joe Flaherty - Donald
- Lee Trevino - Himself
- Kevin Nealon - Gary Potter
- Verne Lundquist - Himself