Heathers Quotations

Heathers is a 1989 black comedy film about a girl who for a time half-heartedly tries to be part of the "in crowd" of her school, the "Heathers", who rule over others through intimidation, contempt, and sex appeal, and the lessons she learns in her interaction with an anti-social rebel with far more extreme forms of contempt for people and society.

Directed by Michael Lehmann and written by Daniel Waters.

Veronica Sawyer

Dear diary, my teen-angst bullshit now has a body count. Everybody's sad...but it's kind of a weird kind of sad. Suicide gave Heather depth, Kurt a soul, and Ram a brain. I don't know what it's given me, but I have no control over myself when I'm with J.D. Are we going to prom or to hell?

Dear Dairy, this is more than just a spoke in my menstrual cycle...

Jason "JD" Dean

Color me impressed. You, uh, you really fucked me up pretty bad, Veronica. You, um, you've got power. Power I didn't think you had. The slate is clean. Pretend I did blow up the school. All the schools. Now that you're dead, what are you gonna do with your life?

Dialogue

Heather Chandler: You stupid fuck.

Veronica: You goddamn bitch.

Heather Chandler: I brought you to a Remington party and what's my thanks? It's on a hallway carpet. I got paid in puke.

Veronica: Lick it up, baby. Lick it up.

Veronica: I just killed my best friend.

J.D.: And your worst enemy.

Veronica: Same difference.

J.D.: What are we gonna tell the cops? "Fuck it if she can't take a joke, Sarge?"

Veronica: Oh, the cops. I can't believe this is my life. Oh my God. I'm gonna have to send my SAT scores to San Quentin instead of Stanford.

J.D.: Ah, right. I'm just a little freaked here. Well at least you got whatcha wanted y'know?

Veronica: Got what I wanted? It is one thing to want somebody out of your life, it is another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer.

J.D.: Hey, son, I didn't hear you come in.

Big Bud Dean: Hey, Dad, how was work today? It was miserable. Some damn tribe of withered old bitches doesn't want us to terminate that fleabag hotel. All because Glenn Miller and his band once took a shit there. Just like Kansas. Remember fucking Kansas?

J.D.: Yeah, that was the one with the wheat, right?

Big Bud Dean: "Save The Memorial Oak Tree" Society. Showed those fucks.

J.D.: Thirty of those 4th of July fireworks attached to the trunk. Arraigned, but acquitted.

Big Bud Dean: Gosh, Pop, I almost forgot to introduce my girlfriend.

J.D.: Veronica, this is my dad. Dad, Veronica. Son, why don't you ask your little friend to stay for dinner.

Veronica: I can't. My mom's making my favorite meal tonight, Spaghetti. Lots of oregano.

J.D.: How nice. Last time I saw my mom, she was waving from a library window, in Texas. Right, Dad?

Big Bud Dean: Right, son.

Veronica: Right.

Veronica: Heather, why can't you just be a friend? Why do you have to be such a mega-bitch?

Heather Duke: Because I can be.

J.D.: Do you think that just because you started this thing you can end it?

Veronica: I'll kill you, I'll fucking kill you, I swear to God! How do I turn off the goddamn bomb, asshole?

J.D.: [gives Veronica the finger] Fuck you! [Veronica shoots his middle finger] Shit!

Veronica: It's all over, J.D., help me stop it!

J.D.: You wanna clean slate as much as I do! Alright, so maybe I am killing everyone in the school because nobody loves me! Let's face it, alright. The only place where different social types can genuinely get along with each other is in heaven.

Veronica: Which button do I press to turn it off?

J.D.: Try the red one, alright? Seriously, people are gonna look at the ashes of Westerburg, and say "There is a school that self-destructed not because society didn't care but because the school was society"! Pretty deep, eh?

Veronica: Which red button?

J.D.: Press the one in the middle, to turn it off if that's what you really want.

Veronica: You know what I want, babe?

J.D.: What?! [tries to attack but Veronica shoots him to stop the bomb]

Veronica: Cool guys like you out of my life.

Cast

Winona Ryder - Veronica Sawyer
Christian Slater - Jason 'J.D.' Dean
Shannen Doherty - Heather Duke
Kim Walker - Heather Chandler
Lisanne Falk - Heather McNamara
Penelope Milford - Pauline Fleming
Lance Fenton - Kurt Kelly
Patrick Labyorteaux - Ram Sweeney
Carrie Lynn - Martha 'Dumptruck' Dunnstock

Quoternity