Joe Bob Briggs

Sourced

• The man is ugly, the man is evil, and the man is in love. This is gonna be an American classic.
  • Darkman reviewhttp://www.joebobbriggs.com/drivein/1990/darkman.htm

• I made the mistake of watching "A.I." on cable the week they showed it about 792 times, and I ended up watching it every time it was on.
  • A.I. reviewhttp://www.joebobbriggs.com/drivein/2003/AI.html

• Speaking of things that'll make your head explode, "Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story" finally made it to the drive-in
  • Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story reviewhttp://www.joebobbriggs.com/drivein/1993/dragonthebruceleestory.htm

• The fifties were when people started coming down on "juvenile delinquents," "hoodlums," "vandals"--anybody that was young, wore a motorcycle jacket, and didn't act polite around older people.
  • I Was a Teenage Werewolf reviewhttp://www.joebobbriggs.com/drivein/1991/iwasateenagewerewolf.htm

• "I think we should take money from everyone," I told her, "regardless of their ability to pay. After all, this is America."
  • La Femme Nikita reviewhttp://www.joebobbriggs.com/drivein/1991/lafemmenikita.htm

• Menahem Golan, the Israeli king of the ninja flick, announced he was producing the remake.
  • Night of the Living Dead (1990 remake) reviewhttp://www.joebobbriggs.com/drivein/1990/nightofthelivingdead1990.htm

Repeated phrases

• Eleven dead bodies. One dead cat. No breasts.
  • This line is from a reviewhttp://www.joebobbriggs.com/drivein/1995/candyman2farewelltotheflesh.htm of Candyman II: Farewell To The Flesh
  • Similar "summary" lines feature in many of the reviews.

• If you know what I mean, and I think you do.
  • Since Joe-Bob was unallowed to swear or make sexual remarks (beyond a point) in the newspaper, anything regarding sex he was unallowed to say was said with a euphemism, such as "Making the sign of the four-legged spouting walrus," followed by this.
  • Example: Swamp Thing Review

• Joe Bob says check it out.
  • Used as the final sentence in all reviews except the very earliest.
  • Example: Ice Pirates Review