Kindergarten Cop

Kindergarten Cop is a 1990 film about a cop who goes undercover in Astoria to find the ex-wife and son of drug dealer Cullen Crisp (who is in a murder investigation).

Directed by Ivan Reitman. Written by Murray Salem, Herschel Weingrod, and Timothy Harris.

Go ahead, you tell him you didn't do your homework.

John Kimble

• But what about your wife? Remember her? All this hard earned drug money she stole from you? How much was it? Three million dollars? I bet you she would be a much better witness.

• Hey. I'm a police officer.

• I'm a cop, you idiot! I'm Detective John Kimble!

• Bring your toy back to the carpet!

• I have a witness too, specfically about murder this time. Now you're mine.

• You lack discipline!

• Well I've got news for you; you are mine now! You belong to me!

• Who is your daddy, and what does he do?

• Now I want to ask you a bunch of questions, and I want to have them answered immediately.

• Stop it!

• Shut up!!!

• Kimble: I have a headache

Lowell: It might be a tumor.

Kimble: It's not a tumor!

• I'm Detective John Kimble.

• There (deer) is no bathroom!

• Take it back!

• My name is John Kimble [cocks shotgun] and I love my car.

• [mockingly after the children laugh at him for accidentally sitting on a piano] Ha-ha-ha-ha. Quiet!

• I'm the party pooper.

• Hi, Cindy...

• I want to hang out with you, till the end...of time.

• You hit the kid, I hit you! [punchs Zach's father in the stomach, but stops after he was spotted by the kids]. You're not worth it. I'm pressing charges against you.

• Stop whining!

• I'm back!

Crisp

• You can't just walk in here and put a gun in my face. I'm trying to get a manicure. I have witnesses.

• I know all about you, Kimble. Without me you wouldn't even have a life. My lady left because of the money. Yours left because she just couldn't stand a sight of you.

Detective Phoebe O'Hara

• Kimble, if you were any stiffer, we could take you surfing.

• You're not so tough without your car, are you?

• Well...you taught them the basics. That's important.

Others

• Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina. ~ Kindergarten student

• Mrs. Schlowski: I want you to answer one more question, and don't lie. What did it feel like to hit that son of a bitch?

Taglines

• An undercover cop in a class by himself.

• Go ahead, you tell him you didn't do your homework.

• He's the toughest undercover cop in LA. If you're bad he'll know it. If you're hiding something he'll find out. If you cheat he can tell. Now...

• It's a jungle gym out there.

Cast

• Arnold Schwarzenegger - Detective John Kimble
• Penelope Ann Miller - Joyce Palmieri/Rachel Crisp
• Pamela Reed - Detective Phoebe O'Hara
• Linda Hunt - Miss Schlowski
• Richard Tyson - Cullen Crisp
• Carroll Baker - Eleanor Crisp
• Christian and Joseph Cousins - Dominic Palmieri/Cullen Crisp, Jr.
• Jayne Brook - Mrs. Sullivan
• Cathy Moriarty - Sylvester's mom