La Liga 1967-68

Miss Congeniality is a 2000 film about an FBI agent who must go undercover in the Miss United States beauty pageant to prevent a group from bombing the event.
Directed by Donald Petrie. Written by Marc Lawrence and Katie Ford

Unpolished. Unkempt. Unleashed. Undercover.

Gracie Hart

  • I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me!

  • Look, she's gonna cry again. [imitating winner] 'Oh, if I only had a brain."'

  • Hey! I'm GLIDING here!

  • Dalai Llama, Dalai Llama, Dalai Llama...*snorts*

  • [as a guard dog barks at her]]' Oh, fine, have it you little...donut Nazi! [pulls a donut out from her bra and throws it at the dog.]

  • I'm sarcastic?! When everything that comes out of YOUR mouth is dripping with disdain?
  • :[After throughout the whole movie mocking people about ALWAYS wanting world peace]':[tearing up]'And I really do want world peace.

Victor "Vic" Melling

  • I'm sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap.

  • There are no words.

  • Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.

  • [to Gracie Hart] If I'd ever had a daughter, I imagine she might have been something like you... which is perhaps why I've never reproduced.

Dialogue

Vic: Why is New Jersey called "The Garden State"?
Gracie: Because "Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State" wouldn't fit on a license plate?



Vic: Your hair should make a statement.
Gracie: As long as it doesn't say 'Thank you very much for the Country Music Award'!



Vic: [teaches Gracie how to glide] See? Glide. It's all in the buttocks. Don't I look pretty?
Gracie: It takes a very secure man to walk like that.



Eric: Just imagine that she's me and there's something you wanna know but I don't wanna talk about it. What would you do?
Gracie: You want me to beat it out of her?



Gracie: Y'know, you got a really good shot at that insanity plea.
Kathy: (gets in the car) Yeah, well, I earned it, honey! 25 years of bitching beauty queens, and what do I get?! FIRED! They steal my life, they steal my beauty pageant!
Gracie: Hey! Hey! It is NOT a beauty pageant! It is a scholarship program.
Kathy: Yeah, yeah.
Gracie: Yes.
(she shuts the door of the police car, and it drives off with Kathy inside)
Gracie: Enjoy your running the Miss San Antonio Women's Correctional Facility Pageant. Huh? Huh? (laughs and snorts; to Eric) Get it? The Women's Correctional Facility--?



Eric: You gotta admit, part of you is going to miss this.
Gracie: I know I am going to miss the heels because they do something for my posture. And I'm suddenly very aware and proud of my breasts.
Eric: Funny, so am I.



Eric: All right, here are your new IDs. For pageant identity.
Gracie: Gracie Lou Freebush?
Eric: Yeah, remember, you like that name.
Gracie: Yeah, well, my IQ just dropped 10 points.

Other

Cheryl "Rhode Island" Frasier: Once I stole a pair of red underwear from the department store. My mom wouldn't buy them for me - she said they were Satan's panties!


Eric Matthews: Is this you not arguing? 'Cause you suck at it.


Gracie Hart: I would so love to hurt you right now.
Victor Melling: As long as you smile.


Victor Melling: What, no armored car?
Gracie Hart: That would be in my other dress.


Kathy Morningside: Of course he had a gun. This is Texas! Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun!
Stan Fields: I don't own a gun. My ancestors were Quakers.

Taglines

  • Unpolished. Unkempt. Unleashed. Undercover.
  • She's Got A Killer To Catch... Right After The Swimsuit Competition.
  • Never Mess With An Agent In A Dress.
  • It's light beer and she's going to throw it up anyway
  • I stand for world's peace.

Cast

  • Sandra Bullock - Gracie Hart
  • Michael Caine - Victor Melling
  • Benjamin Bratt - Eric Matthews
  • Candice Bergen - Cathy Morningside
  • Ernie Hudson - FBI Asst. Director Harry McDonald
  • William Shatner - Stan Fields
  • Heather Burns - Cheryl Frasier, Miss Rhode Island
 
Quoternity
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