Miami Vice Quotations

Miami Vice was an American television show that followed the adventures of two Miami police detectives working undercover, James "Sonny" Crockett and Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs, that ran for five seasons on NBC from 1984-1989. The USA Network broadcasted five unaired episodes after season five.

Det. James "Sonny" Crockett

[describing his ex-wife] She left me at Sears, and had me cryin' all the way to Walgreens.
I don't believe you for a New York minute.
I get these occasional urges for stability in my life.
Nice to know there's still a little poetry left in the world.
It's like taking nose candy off a baby.

Izzy Moreno

You know what they say about architecture, it's like frozen music.
I thought we were going to have a meaningful diabolical time.
In this life the low road sometimes takes you to a more interesting route.

Others

Brenda: This is America you need to be in debt, only way banks can get money back.
Melody: All I know about you is you drive a Testarossa and live in a boat.
Stan Swizek: Do you think that guy practices at being a tubesteak?

Recurring quotes

Det. James "Sonny" Crockett: Hey, Tubbs, you ever consider a career in Southern law enforcement?

Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs [chuckles]: Maybe. Maybe...

Ira Stone: These days money comes from all kinds of places.

Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs: Yeah, well, my money comes from my pocket. Now do you wanna do business?

Det. James "Sonny" Crockett: I hate the waiting, feel like a character in a Becket play.

Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs: Since when do you know Becket?

Det. James "Sonny" Crocket: Charlie Becket, works down at the shoeshine, writes plays on the side.

Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs: [during a heat wave] Man, I can dig tropical, but this is out of bounds.

Det. James "Sonny" Crockett: You just got to learn to go with the heat, Rico. It's just like life. You just gotta keep telling yourself, no matter how hot it gets, sooner or later there's a cool breeze coming in.

Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs: Should I write that down?

Det. James "Sonny" Crockett: Knowing the answers doesn't make it easier, does it?

Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs: In this job you're lucky if it doesn't make it harder.

Street lady at bar: Hey, handsome, why don't you buy me a drink?

Det. James "Sonny" Crockett: Because I wasn't born yesterday.

Brother's Keeper (1.1)

Caroline Crockett: You're all players, Sonny. You get high on the action.

Crockett: [on them working together] Well, I don't know how this is gonna work, Tubbs. I mean, uh, you're not exactly up my alley--style and personawise. Heaven knows I'm no box of candy. But with all things considered, I think we may have to consider some type of... temporary working relationship.

Tubbs: Crockett. James "Sonny" Crockett.

Crockett: Very good, Tubbs. Next week we'll work on your name.

Tubbs: University of Florida. All-American wide receiver number 88? Am I right or what?

Crockett: Oh, that was a long time ago.

Tubbs: You were sensational. I remember one time I watched you run a screen pass 90 yards with 10 seconds left on the clock, man, for the winning TD against Alabama.

Crockett: It was 92 yards, Tubbs. Six seconds remaining.

Tubbs: Yeah, well, excuse the hell outta me. You know, not that Vice isn't the most glamorous gig in the world, Crockett, but what happened, huh? I mean, you must have had half the scouts in the NFL on your tail.

Crockett: Traded it all in on two years in the Southeast Asian Conference.

Tubbs: 'Nam?

Crockett: No, Coney Island.

Scottie: Six months ago some guy comes up to me in Little Havana. Hands me a suitcase. He says, "Compliments of Mr. Calderone." Nothing else. Just compliments. I didn't even open the damn thing for two weeks. Sonny--

Crockett: How much? How much to buy you, Scottie?

Scottie: 70 grand. The calls from DeSoto started about a month later. Information. That's all they wanted was information.

Crockett: Information?

Scottie: I tried to pull out at least a dozen times, but it was too late. I mean, I never expected anyone to get killed.

Crockett: They changed the game plan on us, Scott. Is it still goin' down tonight?

Scottie: Yeah.

Crockett: Where?

Scottie: You gotta help me, man. You gotta help me, man. I got a family. [Cop cars pull up] I got 15 years as a stand-up cop.

Crockett: Where? Where?!

Scottie: I got two medals of valor! I took a bullet for you, for God's sakes! [sighs] They're runnin' a sports fishing boat out of Keys Marina. The drop-off's up river.

Crockett: Am I, uh, am I missing something here, or what, Scottie? I don't get it. I don't understand this. You were my partner. I had you and Donna and the kids over to dinner, what, 20 or 30 times. [angry] Thanksgiving, birthdays. I trusted you! [grabs Scottie's throat] I trusted you, you bastard! I trusted you! [Tubbs pulls Crockett away as Scottie cries]

Crockett: Hey, Tubbs. You ever consider a career in southern law enforcement?

Tubbs: Maybe. [chuckles] Maybe.

Heart of Darkness (1.2)

Artie Rollins: Am I dealing with something here I can't handle? I mean, you two are just a couple of, high-rollin' cowboys from Jersey with a briefcase full of cash.....isn't that right detectives?

One Eyed Jack (1.6)

Vincent "Vinnie" Marco: If Miami hasn't got it, they haven't invented yet.

Rites of Passage (1.16)

Crockett: I don't know, there's something scary about the concept of Switek and Zito doing roach removal. Like it's a conflict of interest or something.

Crockett: People in stucco houses shouldn't throw quiche.

Made For Each Other (1.18)

[Switek and Zito catch Izzy trying to rob store]

Izzy: I'm no criminal. I mean, I never been convicted. I have a few indictments, man, but [Izzy strikes the counter with a tire iron] I'm a man of no convictions.

Izzy: Hey, we Hispanics don't know the meaning of danger, but we're very familiar with the word COM-PEN-SA-TION.

Nobody Lives Forever (1.20)

Brenda: How do you go from this tranquility to that violence?

Crockett: I usually take the Ferrari.

Evan (1.21)

Kern: New Bren-10's pretty nice, eh Burnett?

Crockett: It's all right.

Kern: Got the Eagle inside, you want to try it?

Crockett: Some other time, Kern.

Kern: Haven't seen you in a while.

Crockett: Been pretty busy.

Kern: Still keeping in touch with the Cazadores?

Crockett: That bunch of daisies? [laughs scornfully] I'm putting together a whole new group of people. Men that take life seriously.

Crockett: 200 miles out there, there's men sitting in nuclear submarines just waiting to put us in their crosshairs. Who's gonna protect us, mister? The Army? They're a bunch of toy soldiers. Half-breds! Women! Homosexuals! That's who is protecting our country!

Prodigal Son (2.1)

Crockett: Vietnam, Cambodia, Colombia, Puerto Rico, Bahamas, Everglades. Bet I've soaked up more swamp than Elvis.

Tubbs: Look on the bright side of things, man. At least nobody's trying to make shoes out of you. Yet.

Tubbs: [over the phone] That's TUBBS: Tough, Unique, Bad, Bodacious, Sassy.

Crockett: If the supplier can't deliver...

Tubbs: Then Rivillas' customers start to shiver.

The Dutch Oven (2.4)

Gallo: [Talking to Gina] Ninety percent of all cops never discharge their weapons. They go about their jobs, nobody gets hurt. Then there's the cowboy. [Turns to Crockett] How many shooting hearings have you had? Ten? How many men have died?

Crockett: Only the bad guys, Gallo.

Junk Love (2.6)

Crockett: The secret to success, whether it's women or money, is knowing when to quit. I oughta know: I'm divorced and broke.

Bushido (2.8)

CIA agent Carter: My name is Carter, and I don't like you. And I don't care about your crummy little drug deals. I don't care about Herrera, and I don't care about the half million.

Castillo: Well, you must care about something. You look nervous.

Bought and Paid For (2.9)

Izzy: Your partner looks like kinda intense today.

Switek: I haven't seen him like this since 1983, when he chased a guy who stole a hubcap from the bug van.

Izzy: Have we already had the scene where I ask what this is all about and you say, "Shut up, we ask the questions".

Switek: I don't know, did we, Lar?

Trudy: I wonder what the price of silence is in Haiti.

Octavio Arroyo: To what do I owe this pleasure?

Gina: I wanted to see how you chill out after a rape.

Phil the Shill (2.11)

Izzy: "What are you doing wearing those brow shoes?! This party is color cooperated!"

Definitely Miami (2.12)

Tubbs: Man, it's so hot you could fry an egg on my face.

Crockett: Hope I never get that hungry.

Poolside Bartender: Hot enough for ya ?

Charlie"(Ted Nugent): Yea, it's going to be a real killer.

Crockett:The head and the heart Rico,just once I'd like to get them together.

One Way Ticket (2.14)

Crockett: [to Thurmond] What did you do, trade in your conscience when you passed the bar?

Crockett: Do you think that makes us even?

Laurence Thurmond: No, not at all. It was just the best I had to offer.

Crockett: Aw, the hell with it. You want to be dead? [makes gun with his hand] Bang, you're dead.

The Fix (2.18)

Crockett: Damn, these birds are noisy. At least, they're not in a cage, sort of a natural habitat.

Tubbs: Kind of like an alligator in a sailboat.

El Viejo (3.7)

Crockett: You know what I like about you, Rickles? Not a damn thing [points] Backstroke.

Cuba Libre (3.14)

Crockett: You gotta know the rules before you break 'em. Otherwise, it's no fun.

By Hooker By Crook (3.20)

Crockett: First a junkie, now a hooker. I think I've been in the business too long, I'm starting to fall for the players.

Indian Wars (4.15)

Vieques: Hey, 6 minutes never killed anybody.

Castillo: I can kill 20 men in 6 minutes.

Main cast

Don Johnson - Detective James "Sonny" Crockett
Philip Michael Thomas - Detective Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs
Edward James Olmos - Lieutenant Martin Castillo
Gregory Sierra - Lieutenant Lou Rodriguez
Saundra Santiago - Detective Gina Navarro Calabrese
Olivia Brown - Detective Trudy "Big Booty" Joplin
Michael Talbot - Stanley "Stan" Switek
John Diehl - Detective Laurence "Larry" Zito

Quoternity