Ocean's Twelve Quotations

Ocean's Twelve is a 2004 film. Set three years after Ocean's Eleven this sequel shows us Danny Ocean gathering up his complete gang of con artists and thieves from the first film in New York City before they all jet off to Amsterdam, Rome, and Paris to pull off three seperate heists about

Directed by Steven Soderbergh. Written by George Nolfi.

Twelve is the new eleven taglines

Danny Ocean

If all the animals on the equator were capable of flattery, then Thanksgiving and Hallowe'en would fall on the same date.

[watching "Happy Days" dubbed in Italian] That guy doing Potsie is unbelievable.

Rusty Ryan

[to Topher Grace] Geez, Topher, you don't have to go all Frankie Muniz on me.

(to Danny Ocean) 10:45, we all get arrested.

Terry Benedict

[about Danny] Where is he, Tess? Where is... Mr. Diaz?

[to Rusty Ryan] I was asked to show some restraint. Otherwise, you would have gone out to your favorite car with all the 17 you own and as soon as you turn on the ignition--[car explodes] You got two weeks.

Roman Nagel

[to Isabel, who is posing as Nicole, about Rusty Ryan] And tell him it's gonna cost him double. [pause] And tell him this thing is beautiful. And tell him I'm being a nice guy. And tell him he dresses like a gigilo. (on being asked if that is all) Yeah. No! Tell him--tell Rusty that having a sexy female assistant is such a terrible cliche. [Hangs up. Sexy female assistant emerges with Nagel's treo and brings him a coffee]

Reuben Tishkoff

[ to Turk] Yeah, well I need to use the toilet otherwise I'm gonna shit on your shoes! C'mon Frank...

Dialogues

Linus Caldwell: Hey, can I ask you something? You ever notice that...

Rusty Ryan: If you're gonna ask if you can ask me a question, give me time to respond. Unless you're asking rhetorically, in which case the answer is obvious - yes.

Linus Caldwell: Okay, can I ask you...

Rusty Ryan: Yes.

Linus Caldwell: Thanks. You ever notice that Tess looks...

Rusty Ryan: Ooh, don't ever ask that. Ever. Seriously. Not to anyone, especially not to her.

Linus Caldwell: Wait, why not?

Rusty Ryan: Look, it's not in my nature to be mysterious. But I can't talk about it and I can't talk about why.

[walks off]

Linus Caldwell: Oooooooooo.

Terry Benedict: I have a message for Robert Charles Ryan, soon to be the ex-owner of the Standard Hotel.

Rusty Ryan: You got him.

Terry Benedict: The last we spoke, you hung up on me.

Rusty Ryan: You used nasty words. I got sensitive ears

Topher Grace: Jesus Christ! Are you people retarded?! It says "Do not disturb"!

Rusty Ryan: It's me.

Tess Ocean: You're doing recon work on our anniversary?

Danny Ocean: Tess...

Danny Ocean: Do I look 50 to you?

Basher Tarr: Yeah.

Danny Ocean: Really?

Basher Tarr: Well, I mean, you know, only from the neck up.

Turk Malloy: It's ridiculous, I mean this is a moral issue we're dealing with here. Not to mention we don't have a grease man anymore, because he's in a bag somewhere. We don't know.

Virgil Malloy: We got a bag man.

Turk Malloy: Such an ape, an animal, with no feelings you are.

Virgil Malloy: I have feelings.

Turk Malloy: No, you don't.

Virgil Malloy: Look, yeah, I do I feel bad for the guy. He's a human being in a piece of luggage, but you got water, he's got air. What did you want them to do?

Turk Malloy: Oh my God, they should have gotten off the bus, get off the bus and pick up the bag with our friend in it.

Virgil Malloy: Get off the bus, they were trying to be inconspicuous. How many soccer teams do you know that are fielding 50 year-old men?

Danny Ocean: Rusty's not 50 years old.

Turk Malloy: Yeah dude, we know Rusty's not 50.

Danny Ocean: You think I'm 50 years old? Let me ask you something... [to Virgil] no, let me ask you something: how old do you think I am?

Virgil Malloy: 48?

Danny Ocean: You think I'm 48 years old?

Virgil Malloy: 52?

[Danny walks off]

Linus Caldwell: What did I say?

Danny Ocean: You called his niece a whore.

Linus Caldwell: What?!?

Rusty Ryan: A very cheap one.

Danny Ocean: She's seven.

Rusty Ryan: Currently confined to bed with a wicked case of...

Danny Ocean: No, don't tell him that.

Rusty Ryan: I'm sorry.

Turk Malloy: Hell in a hand-basket?

Linus Caldwell: No, we... can't train a cat that quickly. And...

Turk Malloy, Linus Caldwell, Basher Tarr: [together] Not enough people!

Virgil Malloy: Doesn't this guy believe in fresh air?

Rusty Ryan: He opens the second floor window every now and then.

Virgil Malloy: What does that mean?

Rusty Ryan: It means he opens the second floor window every now and then.

Danny Ocean: What are you doing?

Rusty Ryan: Sleeping. Why are you dressed?

Danny Ocean: It's 5:30, day of. Gotta go, let's go!

Rusty Ryan: It's 11:30. The night before.

Danny Ocean: Oh.. But..

Danny Ocean: [realizes he was given a prank wake-up call by Toulour]

Danny Ocean: Oh.

Rusty Ryan: Oh! Oh he's mean. He's just mean spirited. All right, how many espressos did you have?

Danny Ocean: Five.

Linus Caldwell: So we do a Lookie-Loo... it's actually a Lookie-Loo with a Bundle of Joy!

Basher Tarr: A Lookie-Loo... with Tess... and a Bundle of Joy?

Linus Caldwell: Yeah!

Basher Tarr: You've gone right out of your tree, my son.

[looking at Turk]

Basher Tarr: He's mad. It's madness.

Turk Malloy: Yeah, it's crazy. It's Italian television crazy, and, we're still one short.

Linus Caldwell: No no, but think about it. She can get near the egg, during daylight hours, with at least half the system down! Well that's a trifecta!

Basher Tarr: You might be right. Make the call.

Molly Star: I hope Danny And Rusty appreciate the fine job you did - in a tight jam? I'm really proud of you.

Linus Caldwell: Thanks.

Molly Star: We both are.

Linus Caldwell: [pauses and looks at Star]

Linus Caldwell: [revealing that Molly Star is actually Mrs. Caldwell, his mother] You told Dad? You told Dad?

Molly Star: I had to sweetheart, We were on vacation.

Linus Caldwell: [shaking his head, looks away from his mom]

Molly Star: [smiling] I'm sorry.

Linus Caldwell: Great. you guys are gonna be dining out on this one for months! Hey, you remember the time your mom had to go to Rome, Blah, Blah,blah? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah?

Reuben Tishkoff: If, God forbid, anything does happen to you, we will not be involved.

Terry Benedict: You better not be, Reuben. You better not be.

Taglines

Twelve is the new eleven
Three years ago, they stole 160 million dollars. Now the only thing between their old enemy and their new one is an Ocean.

Cast

George Clooney - Daniel Ocean
Brad Pitt - Rusty Ryan
Matt Damon - Linus Caldwell
Julia Roberts - Tess Ocean
Catherine Zeta-Jones - Isabel Lahiri
Andy Gracia - Terry Benedict
Don Cheadle - Basher Tarr
Vincent Cassel - François "The Nightfox" Toulour
Albert Finney - Gaspar LeMarc (uncredited)
Bernie Mac - Frank Catton
Casey Affleck - Virgil Malloy
Scott Caan - Turk Malloy
Shaobo Qin - "The Amazing" Yen
Carl Reiner - Saul Bloom
Eddie Jemison - Livingston Dell
Elliott Gould - Reuben Tishkoff

Quoternity