Omid Djalili

Omid Djalili is an Iranian-English stand-up comedian and actor.

No Agenda (2007)

  • What do you call an honest Iranian businessman? Asif.

  • Its part of a comedy cultural exchange tour: tonight, I am doing the UK and Jim Davidson is being buggered in Baghdad right now, systematically and without cessation, by United States Troops! Such fun.

  • Semtex... with nowt taken out!
    • Imitating suicide bombers from Leeds

  • A Persian Cat! Not an Iranian cat, no: an Iranian cat has a bomb under the body warmer!

  • I am the only Iranian comedian in the world... and that's three more than Germany!

  • YOU BASTARD! Come to my carpet shop.
 
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