Samurai Pizza Cats
Speedy Cerviche
- Ever had one of those days when you just want to go back to bed?
- The pussy is the cat's meow.
- Wanna hear my Clint Eastwood?, "Make my day"
- Okay, get camera three in place for the Ginsu Sword sequence. Let's have a big finish!
Guido Anchovy
- On the other hand, there could be a monster, or mutants, or UFOs! This is a cartoon, those writers can do whatever they want!
- Maybe in one of my nine lives I'll be smart enough to figure out why you're crying about this, but I haven't got the time, uh-uh-uh, got to be off with the pizza. Pie, I mean bye!
- Hey guys, there's only one ticket left for the 'Iron Butterly' concert and you're going to have to fight for it.
Polly Esther
- Who comes up with any of those lines?
- [to Bad Bird] We have fanclubs all over the world. And our toys out sell yours 2 to 1.
Narrator
- And so, we come to the end of another adventure with our heroes: Speedy, Polly and Guido, but they'll be back for another episode, unless of course they get a better offer from another producer.
- Even though it was Spritz The Cat who defeated the robots and saved the day, Speedy's the hero who negotiated the lucrative merchandising deal for the Pizza Cats Running Shoes, T-Shirts, Lunchboxes and Executive Desk Sets. So we have a contractual commitment to make a big fuzz over him like this in every episode. Bear with us, folks, it's big business...
- Is this the end of the Pizza Cats? After only seven episodes?
- This sudden explosion of sudden special effects can only mean one thing, it's...The Ginsu Sword cuts the Cheese once again! Who writes this stuff?
The Big Cheese
- Darn Pizza Cats!!! That's NOT fair! NOT fair! (explodes, as per almost every episode)
- This wasn't in the script. I want my stunt double, and I want him now!
Jerry Atrick
- Calm down, Mr. Cheese! Calm down!
- (after the cats have broken into Big Cheese's vault)Oh no! Someone has broken into the vault! I hope they don't scratch my "Lovin' Spoonfull" albums.
Bat Cat
- [After catching Speedy who was thrown out the palace window] Friday night for poker as usual?
Lucille
the cat I love would enjoy the simpler things in life. He'd rather have a picnic with ME then rush off to save the world.Francine & Parmesan
Francine: "All systems go and ready for launch"Guido: "But I already ate."
Francine: "Launch not lunch.....silly..."
Bad Bird
- (who has just found out that Big Cheese didn't mean a nuclear potato)Shooks... It wasn't a nuclear, it was just a common tater
- Now you know what it's like to live in Quebec. Perhaps now you'll learn to speak au français. Give us the secret, or you'll be eating crêpes, pal!
Others
- I heard him scream last night and it was horrible. I wish he wouldn't do that when he gets kidnapped.
- This is hotter then a stolen Subaru!
Main Title Song
- Narrator: (spoken)Will somebody PLEASE cue that bird?
Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats (Oh yeah)
Narrator: Who do you call when you want some pepperoni?
Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats (Right on)
Narrator: They're stampin' out crime and you know that ain't baloney.
There's Speedy Cerviche and he's the leader of the bunch.
Chorus: That's right
Narrator: A heck of a fighter (Whoa!)
Makes a heck of a lunch
And little Polly Esther who's never afraid (That's me)
Of going into battle when the bad guys invade
There's Guido Anchovy
A wild romantic lover
The cat gets down, down with a love-hangover
Chorus: Here Come the Pizza Cats
Narrator: They're so bad
They've got more fur than any turtle ever had.
Chorus: Stronger than old cheese (Stronger than old cheese)
Chorus: Stronger than dirt (Stronger than dirt)
Chorus: Step on their tails (Polly meows)
Chorus: Then you're gonna get hurt (Don't hurt me, please!)
Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats
Narrator: They're fightin crime
Chorus: All over town
Chorus: 3, 2, 1. Pizza Cats are on the run
Narrator: The Big Cheese is the villan, who's lower than low
It's a rotten shame he lives in Little Tokyo
He's got a nasty temper and some nasty Ninja Crows
As soon as someone finds the script, we might begin the show
Sit right back, pick up a seat and turn the sound up high
And if you want the full effect, go eat a pizza-pie!
Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats (narrator laughs as Speedy falls into the sea)
End Title Song
- Narrator: Ladies and Gentleman! The Samurai Pizza Cats Fan Club Oath!
The Big Cheese: The Pizza Cats are Samurais and I'd like to note.
Jerry Atric: Their antics take your breath away!
The Big Cheese: Like furballs in your throat.
Speedy: We kittens are a special breed. We never call retreat
Guido: Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down
Polly: We land upon (blows a kiss) our feet!
Narrator: So hail to thee, O Pizza Cat! Please ring your little bell! (Speedy rings his collar bell)
Although you may be pen and ink, we know you'll fight like...
All: PIZZA CATS!
(song starts)
Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats
Narrator: We hope you liked the show, it's the best that we could do
Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats.
Narrator: If you could do better, then we'd leave it up to you.
Just a reminder that you might like to know
The Cats will be back for another big show! (laughs) Oh gosh!
Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats
Narrator: They're fighting crime. Oh Yes!
Chorus: All over town.
2, 4, 6, 8!
Why do we expectorate?
Samurai Pizza Cats
Narrator: Read all the credits, so you know who did the work
Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats (crowd cheers)