Samurai Pizza Cats

Speedy Cerviche

  • Ever had one of those days when you just want to go back to bed?

  • The pussy is the cat's meow.

  • Wanna hear my Clint Eastwood?, "Make my day"
  • Okay, get camera three in place for the Ginsu Sword sequence. Let's have a big finish!

Guido Anchovy

  • On the other hand, there could be a monster, or mutants, or UFOs! This is a cartoon, those writers can do whatever they want!
  • Maybe in one of my nine lives I'll be smart enough to figure out why you're crying about this, but I haven't got the time, uh-uh-uh, got to be off with the pizza. Pie, I mean bye!
  • Hey guys, there's only one ticket left for the 'Iron Butterly' concert and you're going to have to fight for it.

Polly Esther

  • Who comes up with any of those lines?

  • [to Bad Bird] We have fanclubs all over the world. And our toys out sell yours 2 to 1.

Narrator

  • And so, we come to the end of another adventure with our heroes: Speedy, Polly and Guido, but they'll be back for another episode, unless of course they get a better offer from another producer.
  • Even though it was Spritz The Cat who defeated the robots and saved the day, Speedy's the hero who negotiated the lucrative merchandising deal for the Pizza Cats Running Shoes, T-Shirts, Lunchboxes and Executive Desk Sets. So we have a contractual commitment to make a big fuzz over him like this in every episode. Bear with us, folks, it's big business...
  • Is this the end of the Pizza Cats? After only seven episodes?
  • This sudden explosion of sudden special effects can only mean one thing, it's...The Ginsu Sword cuts the Cheese once again! Who writes this stuff?

The Big Cheese

  • Darn Pizza Cats!!! That's NOT fair! NOT fair! (explodes, as per almost every episode)
  • This wasn't in the script. I want my stunt double, and I want him now!

Jerry Atrick

  • Calm down, Mr. Cheese! Calm down!
  • (after the cats have broken into Big Cheese's vault)Oh no! Someone has broken into the vault! I hope they don't scratch my "Lovin' Spoonfull" albums.

Bat Cat

  • [After catching Speedy who was thrown out the palace window] Friday night for poker as usual?

Lucille

the cat I love would enjoy the simpler things in life. He'd rather have a picnic with ME then rush off to save the world.

Francine & Parmesan

Francine: "All systems go and ready for launch"
Guido: "But I already ate."
Francine: "Launch not lunch.....silly..."

Bad Bird

  • (who has just found out that Big Cheese didn't mean a nuclear potato)Shooks... It wasn't a nuclear, it was just a common tater
  • Now you know what it's like to live in Quebec. Perhaps now you'll learn to speak au français. Give us the secret, or you'll be eating crêpes, pal!

Others

  • I heard him scream last night and it was horrible. I wish he wouldn't do that when he gets kidnapped.
  • This is hotter then a stolen Subaru!

Main Title Song

  • Narrator: (spoken)Will somebody PLEASE cue that bird?
    Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats (Oh yeah)
    Narrator: Who do you call when you want some pepperoni?
    Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats (Right on)
    Narrator: They're stampin' out crime and you know that ain't baloney.
    There's Speedy Cerviche and he's the leader of the bunch.
    Chorus: That's right
    Narrator: A heck of a fighter (Whoa!)
    Makes a heck of a lunch
    And little Polly Esther who's never afraid (That's me)
    Of going into battle when the bad guys invade
    There's Guido Anchovy
    A wild romantic lover
    The cat gets down, down with a love-hangover
    Chorus: Here Come the Pizza Cats
    Narrator: They're so bad
    They've got more fur than any turtle ever had.
    Chorus: Stronger than old cheese (Stronger than old cheese)
    Chorus: Stronger than dirt (Stronger than dirt)
    Chorus: Step on their tails (Polly meows)
    Chorus: Then you're gonna get hurt (Don't hurt me, please!)
    Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats
    Narrator: They're fightin crime
    Chorus: All over town
    Chorus: 3, 2, 1. Pizza Cats are on the run
    Narrator: The Big Cheese is the villan, who's lower than low
    It's a rotten shame he lives in Little Tokyo
    He's got a nasty temper and some nasty Ninja Crows
    As soon as someone finds the script, we might begin the show
    Sit right back, pick up a seat and turn the sound up high
    And if you want the full effect, go eat a pizza-pie!
    Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats (narrator laughs as Speedy falls into the sea)

End Title Song

  • Narrator: Ladies and Gentleman! The Samurai Pizza Cats Fan Club Oath!
    The Big Cheese: The Pizza Cats are Samurais and I'd like to note.
    Jerry Atric: Their antics take your breath away!
    The Big Cheese: Like furballs in your throat.
    Speedy: We kittens are a special breed. We never call retreat
    Guido: Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down
    Polly: We land upon (blows a kiss) our feet!
    Narrator: So hail to thee, O Pizza Cat! Please ring your little bell! (Speedy rings his collar bell)
    Although you may be pen and ink, we know you'll fight like...
    All: PIZZA CATS!
    (song starts)
    Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats
    Narrator: We hope you liked the show, it's the best that we could do
    Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats.
    Narrator: If you could do better, then we'd leave it up to you.
    Just a reminder that you might like to know
    The Cats will be back for another big show! (laughs) Oh gosh!
    Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats
    Narrator: They're fighting crime. Oh Yes!
    Chorus: All over town.
    2, 4, 6, 8!
    Why do we expectorate?
    Samurai Pizza Cats
    Narrator: Read all the credits, so you know who did the work
    Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats (crowd cheers)
 
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