Shaun of the Dead Quotations

Shaun of the Dead, a zombie themed romantic comedy (or rom-zom-com as it dubs itself), concerns the misadventures of Shaun, a young man trapped in a rut, who is attempting to sort out his life, reconcile with his ex-girlfriend and settle his issues with his mother and stepfather, whilst simulataneously having to cope with an apocalyptic uprising of the undead that is causing society to collapse.

Directed by Edgar Wright. Written by Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright.

A romantic comedy. With zombies. taglines

Shaun

As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "i" in meat pie. Meat is the anagram of team... I don't know what he's talking about.
[Repeated line about Phillip.] He's not my dad.
[repeated line.] That was the second album I ever bought!
[Seeing a zombie without an arm] Ohh, for God's sake! He's got an arm off!
How's that for a slice of fried gold?
[coming across zombified Pete] Ah! Sorry, Pete, sorry... listen, we're gonna borrow your car, okay, hope you don't mind and - ah - later on, if you're feeling better, w-we're going down to the pub, so you're m-more than welcome to, to... [whispered] join us.
What's the matter, David? Never taken a shortcut before? (This line would be repeated in Hot Fuzz)
[distracting a zombie horde.] Come and get it! It's a running buffet! All you can eat!
Would anyone like... a peanut?
[As zombified Pete is biting Ed] Pete! I said, "Leave him alone!" [Shoots and kills zombified Pete.]
[After Ed tells Shaun "Hey Shaun, look who it is" as zombified Pete walks into the Winchester] Fuck-A-Doodle-Doo!
He's NOT my boyfriend! [Ed hands him a beer] Thanks, Babe.

Ed

Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?
Wa'ssup, niggas?
Yeeaah, boy!
Don't forget to kill Phillip!
[repeated line.] Cock it!
[On Pete.] It's not hip-hop, it's electro... prick. [Unaware of how right he is] Next time I see him, he's dead.
[Indicates Hand movement of sex] "Café au lait" [Moans and points at Shaun] "Pour Vous"
[repeated line.] Two seconds.
WE'RE COMING TO GET YOU, BARBRA! (reference to Night of the Living Dead)
There's a girl in the garden. Shaun: What? Ed: In the garden, there is a girl.
Can I get any of you cunts a drink?
Oi! Prick!
You believe everything you hear on TV?
Cornetto
(In reference to what occurred earlier today) First, Liz rang and asked if you were taking her out to the Winchester, then your mum rang and asked if you were going out, and then your mum rang back and to see if I wanted to eat her out tonight!

Other Characters

Liz: If I don't do something, I'm going to end up going into that pub every night for the rest of my life like the rest of those sad old fuckers, drinking myself to death and wondering what the hell happened.
Liz: PLEASE, CAN WE JUST CALM... THE FUCK... DOWN!
Dianne: [describing the appearance of a zombie.] Vacant, with a hint of sadness. Like a drunk who's lost a bet.
David: For a hero, you're quite a hypocrite!
David: I'm not the one being unreasonable, pickle!
Phillip: [On his zombie bite.] I'm perfectly alright, Barbara. I ran it under a cold tap.
Barbara: [final words.] It's been a funny sort of day, hasn't it?
Various: [to Shaun, repeated line.] You've got red on you.
Pete: [To Shaun]] Sort your fucking life out, mate!
Pete: And the front door is open... again!!!!
Pete: Well, fuck-a-doodle-doo!
Trisha Goddard: [re: a guest who still loves her undead husband.] You go to bed with it?!
Radio Newscaster: The Church of England has joined other extremist religious groups in proclaiming the phenomenon 'a sign of the coming apocalypse', although Downing Street is refusing to be drawn into a religious debate.
Jeremy Thompson: [During emergency news broadcast] In extreme circumstances, the assailants can be stopped by removing the head or destroying the brain. I will repeat that: by removing the head or destroying the brain.
Jeremy Thompson: [On 'six months on' special] It's just not something you ever expect to have to say on air: "removing the head or destroying the brain". Extraordinary.
Television Newscaster: Reports that the infection was spread by rage-infected monkeys have now been dismissed as bull-

Dialogue

[Opening lines; Shaun and Liz are sitting in the pub, drinking.]

Liz: Shaun - d'you see what I'm saying?

Shaun: Yeah, totally.

Liz: I mean, I know he's your best friend, but you do live with him.

Shaun: I know...

Liz: It's not that I don't like Ed. Ed, it's not that I don't like you.

[Cut to reveal that Ed is actually standing next to them, playing the pub's "Ooh Ah Dracula" fruit machine]

Ed: It's alright.

...

Liz: It’d just be nice if we could-

Ed: [playing game in background.] Fuck!

Liz: - spend a bit of time together -

Ed: Bollocks!

Liz: - just you and me.

Ed: Cock it!

...

Liz: It's just that with Ed here, it's no wonder I always bring my flatmates out, and then that only exacerbates things.

Shaun: What you mean?

Liz: Well, you guys hardly get on, do you?

Shaun: No, I mean, what does 'exacerbate' mean?

Liz: Shaun, what I'm trying to say is, I need something a little more, rather than spending every night in the Winchester. I wanna get out there and do more interesting stuff, I wanna live a little, and I want you to want to want to do it too! [Groans] Listen to me, I'm beginning to sound like your mum - not that I know what she sounds like.

David: You still haven't met his mum?!

Shaun: [To David] Not yet!

Dianne: Don't you get along with your mum, Shaun?

Shaun: No, it's not that I don't get on with her-

David: Are you ashamed by your mum, Shaun?

Shaun: No! I love my mum!

Ed: Yeah, I love his mum.

Shaun: Ed.

Ed: (sing song tone) She's like butttahhh!...

Shaun: Ed!

David & Di: Shaun!

Shaun: [To David & Di] Guys-

Liz: Shaun

Shaun: Liz! Look, I understand what you're trying to say, OK, and I agree. We should get out there. We'll start tomorrow, alright? I'll book a restaurant, you know, the place that does all the fish? Just the two of us. Things will change, promise.

Liz: [Nodding] Really, Shaun?

[Shaun nods and sips his beer.]

Liz: Shaun?

[On leaving the front door open.]

Pete: I'm not saying it was you, Shaun.

Shaun: I know, man...

Pete: I'm saying it was Ed.

...

Shaun: [About Ed.] Well, I've known him since primary school. I like having him around, he's a laugh.

Pete: What, because he can impersonate an orang utan? Fuck-a-doodle-doo.

[Shaun is trying to make up with Liz.]

Shaun: Let's go out somewhere.

Liz: What, to the Winchester?

Shaun: [Laughs, then] Do you want to?

Liz: No, I don't fucking want to!!

Liz: You, hang out with my friends? A failed actress and a twat?

Shaun: Well, that's a bit harsh.

Liz: Your words, Shaun!

Shaun: I did NOT call Diane a failed actress!

Liz: You promised you'd quit smoking when I did!

Shaun: Well...

Liz: You promised you'd try red wine instead of beer!

Shaun: I...

Liz: You promised we'd go on holiday together!

Shaun: Well, we went to Greece, didn't we?

Liz: We met in Greece!

David: At a rave.

Liz: You promised things would change.

Diane: You promised you'd get us free cable.

Shaun: I'm working on that!

Diane: Okay.

[Zombie bangs on the door of "The Winchester" and moans.]

John (bartender): Sorry, we're closed.

[Zombie moans and stops banging.]

Ed: Pisshead.

Shaun & Ed: [drunk, singing.] Doo doo doo doo. Base. White Lines, Visions dreams of passion, goin' thru my mind, and all the while I think of you!

[Shaun & Ed see two people holding each other with the woman vigourously 'kissing' the man.]

Ed: What's wrong haven't you had your tea?

[Ed & Shaun laugh.]

[The man in the backgound's neck goes limp as the woman eats his neck.]

Shaun & Ed: [resume singing.] Something of a phenomenon baby, telling my body to come along. White Lines, Blow away! Shhh!

[Shaun body slams Ed.]

Shaun & Ed: Ah, get higher baby, Ah, get higher baby, Ah, get higher girl! Ahh!

Zombie:[groans loudly.]

Shaun & Ed: [scoffs.] Daba daba daba daba daba!

Zombie: [groans.]

Shaun & Ed: Daba daba daba daba daba!

Zombie: [groans softer.]

Shaun: What's he doing? He should say base.

Ed: Or freeze.

Shaun & Ed: What a tit.

Quoternity