Showgirls Quotations

Showgirls is a 1995 film written by Joe Eszterhas, directed by Paul Verhoeven, and released by United Artists.
Leave your inhibitions at the door. The show is about to begin. Taglines

Dialogue

[first lines]

Jeff: Hop on in, pard!

Nomi Malone: Where you going?

Jeff: Vegas! Come on! This is your lucky day!

Jeff: You got a name?

Nomi Malone: Nomi.

Jeff: Nomi?

Nomi Malone: My mom was Italian.

Jeff: What are you going to Vegas for? You gonna win?

Nomi Malone: I'm gonna dance!

Jeff: Like one of those private escort dancers?

Jeff: You gamble?

Nomi Malone: No.

Jeff: Well you gotta gamble if you're gonna win.

Nomi Malone: I'm gonna win.

Annie: They're going to see a smiling snatch if you don't fix this g-string!

[repeated line]

Nomi Malone: It doesn't suck.

Henrietta "Mama" Bazoom: Honey, you could never handle me with all these wrinkles of fat. Why, you'd never find the thing... I'd have to piss on you to give you a clue!

Henrietta "Mama" Bazoom: [singing] The Farmer in the Dell / The Farmer in the Dell / I had a cherry, once / And now it's gone to hell!

Henrietta "Mama" Bazoom: Do you know what they call that useless piece of skin around a twat?

Crowd: What?!?

Henrietta "Mama" Bazoom: A WOMAN!

Al Torres: Ladies and Gentlemen... The girl to tickle your pickle... HEATHER!

Phil Newkirk: He says that in America, everyone's a gynecologist.

Cristal Connors: You like her?

Zack Carey: I like you.

Cristal Connors: I'll buy her for you!

Nomi Malone: You can't touch me, but I can touch you. I'd really love to touch you.

James Smith: You fuck 'em without fucking them! That's what you do! Well, it ain't right! You've got too much talent for it to be right!

James Smith: I mean everyone got AIDS and shit!

Molly Abrams: I haven't gotten laid in six months. My right hand's so tired I can barely thread a needle!

Nomi Malone: Then use the left one.

Molly Abrams: For threading a needle?

Tony Moss: I'm Tony Moss. I produce this show. Some of you have probably heard that I'm a prick. I am a prick. I got one interest here, and that's the show. I don't care whether you live or die. I want to see you dance and I want to see you smile. I can't use you if you can't smile, I can't use you if you can't show, I can't use you if you can't sell.

Tony Moss: Can you spell MGM backwards? I bet you can't.

Audition Dancer: M-G-M.

Tony: I'm impressed!

Henrietta "Mama" Bazoom: [singing] She's the yellow rose of Texas / She charges fifty bucks / She's the richest girl in Texas / And all she does is fuck!

Al Torres: You're a fucking stripper, don't you get it?

Nomi Malone: I'm a dancer!

Al: If you're a dancer, than Henry here is the fuckin' Virgin Mary!

Henrietta "Mama" Bazoom: I got bigger tits than the fuckin' Virgin Mary and I got a bigger mouth too!

Tony Moss: One day she looks like Pollyanna, the next day she looks like... I don't know... Lolita, maybe.

[Nomi giggles]

Tony Moss: Nice dress.

Nomi Malone: Thanks. I bought it at "Ver-sayce".

[silence]

Nomi Malone: In the Forum?

Tony Moss: Oh, yeah, Ver-sayce. I love Ver-sayce.

Nomi Malone: Me, too!

Marty Jacobsen: She's no butterfly, Tony. She's all pelvic thrust. I mean, she prowls... She's got it!

James Smith: I have a problem with pussy. I always have, and I'm always gonna.

Cristal Connors: We got off on the wrong foot, you wanna star dancin' all over again?

Cristal Connors: I've had dog food.

Nomi Malone: You have?

Cristal Connors: Mmm-hmmm. Long time ago. Doggy Chow... I used to love Doggy Chow.

Nomi Malone: I used to love Doggy Chow, too!

Cristal Connors: You are a whore, darlin'!

Cristal Connors: We take the cash, we cash the check, we show them what they want to see!

Cristal Connors: You know the best advice I ever got? You're up there on stage, hopin' on a spot. If someone gets in your way, step on 'em. If you're the only one left standing there, they hire you. That's about it. Thank you and good night, ladies and gentlemen. Elvis has left the building.

Henrietta "Mama" Bazoom: She looks better than a ten-inch dick and you know it!

Al Torres: It must be weird, not having anybody cum on you.

Cristal Connors: No one's gonna take my lead anyway, darlin', I haven't missed a show in eight years.

Tony Moss: But you're not getting any younger, "darling".

Cristal Connors: Eat me.

Nomi Malone: Hi, my name is Heather.

Cristal Connors: Hey Nomi. I love your nails. We'd like you to have a private dance with both of us.

Nomi Malone: We don't do that. One at a time. No women.

Cristal Connors: A hundred dollars.

Nomi Malone: Sorry. That's the rules.

Cristal Connors: Two hundred. You just do Zack and I'll watch.

[Nomi shakes her head no]

Cristal Connors: Five hundred.

[after Zack's lap dance, to Zack]

Cristal Connors: Can you walk?

Zack Carey: Are you afraid? Don't be.

Nomi Malone: I'm not. I liked it when you came. I liked you eyes.

Cristal Connors: You fucked her, didn't you?

Zack Carey: Does that piss you off because you're jealous, Cris? Or because I beat you to the punch?

Cristal Connors: You don't want to piss me off darlin' now that were friends.

Nomi Malone: Oh, no... You shouldn't get pissed off. Makes you look older.

Cristal Connors: You like my nails? Not as nice as yours.

Nomi Malone: Maybe I could help you with yours... If you like.

Cristal Connors: Why you'd do that for me?

Nomi Malone: What are friends for?

Cristal Connors: On second thought... I'm not so sure I want you to be doin' mine. I'm getting a little too old for that 'whorey' look.

Tony Moss: Cristal Connors is a star, Sam. You can't just replace her.

Phil Kewkirk: What if we could just bring somebody in while she's recuperating?

Tony Moss: She could be out for a year, Phil.

Zack Carey: Like who?

Phil Newkirk: Janet Jackson? Paula Abdul?

Zack Carey: Paula Abdul? In my show?

Mr. Karlman: I'm not going to pay those kind of salaries!

Zack Carey: Well, in that case, Mr. Karlman, we do what we do in Vegas.

Mr. Karlman: What?

Zack Carey: We gamble.

Nomi Malone: Where are the police?

Zack Carey: They're not here.

Nomi Malone: Why the fuck aren't they here?

Zack Carey: Because they're not coming!

[Nomi goes to a pay-phone]

Zack Carey: Don't do it... Polly.

[Nomi puts down the receiver]

Nomi Malone: How did you find out?

Zack Carey: You were busted for disturbing the peace at the Crave Club. The police took your fingerprints.

Nomi Malone: I don't have to listen to this.

Zack Carey: Yes you do! Polly-Ann Costello. Your father killed your mother and then killed himself.

Nomi Malone: Showtime.

Cristal Connors: Thank you and good night, ladies and gentlemen. Cristal has left the building.

Nomi Malone: I got my period.

James Smith: Yeah right.

Nomi Malone: Check.

[James puts his hand down Nomi's pants]

Mr. Karlman: We could have brought anyone into this show: Janet Jackson, Paula Abdul. Nomi Malone is what Las Vegas is all about! She's dazzling, she's exciting, and very, very sexy!

Cristal Connors: There's always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you.

[last lines]

Jeff: So did you gamble?

[Nomi nods.]

Jeff: Did you win?

[Nomi nods again.]

Jeff: What'd you win?

Nomi Malone: Me.

Jeff: Oh, fuck! It's you!

Nomi Malone: I want my fucking suitcase... ASSHOLE!

Taglines

Leave your inhibitions at the door. The show is about to begin.
Beyond your wildest dreams. Beyond your wildest fantasies.
The most controversial movie of the year is here.
The side of Vegas you were never meant to see.

Quoted cast

Elizabeth Berkley ... Nomi Malone
Kyle MacLachlan ... Zack Carey
Gina Gershon ... Cristal Connors
Glenn Plummer ... James Smith
Robert Davi ... Al Torres
Alan Rachins ... Tony Moss
Gina Ravera ... Molly Abrams
Lin Tucci ... Henrietta "Mama" Bazoom
Greg Travis ... Phil Newkirk
Patrick Bristow ... Marty Jacobsen
Dewey Weber ... Jeff
Ungela Brockman ... Annie
Judette Warren ... Audition Dancer
Al Pascio ... Mr. Karlman

Quoternity