Stingers Quotations

Stingers is an Australian drama series about undercover cops - people with covert lives and constantly changing identities. It reveals the shadowy and ambiguous life of police who work behind enemy lines - always without a badge and frequently without protection. Please Note, quotes do contain some Mild Course Language and some sexual remarks.

Ratcatcher [1.1]

[Peter had just gotten back from an undercover operation and is about to met Kaye. Oscar is talking to Kaye when Mac and Pete walk up together.]

OSCAR: We've been talking about you

PETER: Well there you go

MAC: The male ego never ceases to amaze me

PETER: What’s wrong with the male ego

MAC: I'm not allowed to say - secret woman’s business, it's how we stay on top

PETER: Been taking those Germaine Greer tablets again

MAC: *confused* Pardon

PETER: You're showing your age you know

[Mac gives him a dirty look and keeps walking]

[Pete was punched at the start of the episode, in a sting, by a cop to make it look more real. Pete is now in a pub with Ron Gallagher, the target, and the police officer makes an appearence]

COP (to Pete): Hey wanker, how’s the eye

RON: Who’s that friggin smartass

COP: Don't worry I won't tell a soul

PETER: Don't worry he's a cop

[Pete gets up and walks towards him. He punches the cop in the face then grabs his shirt and talks into his ear]

PETER: I'm working Dickhead

[Pete punches him again this time in the stomach, the cop is lying on the floor gasping for breath]

PETER: Authentic enough for you

PETER: I'm not wearing a wire

MAC: Then how can we back you up

PETER: From a distance

MAC: I don't like it

PETER: I'm playing it safe

BERNIE: That’s a matter of opinion

MAC: You're aiding and abetting a robbery I'm not even sure if it's the right way to go

PETER: Were not arresting anyone... I'm um…. bonding. Isn't that what you wanted

[Mac smiles]

MAC (blokey voice): then take em to a footy match

PETER (laughing): Come on we're on a roll. I'm in on a robbery, thumped a cop

MAC: I want you to wear a wire

[Garry is Ron Gallagher’s brother]

RON: Get your gear off

GARRY: Ron, what are you doing

RON: What if he's a pig

GARRY: He's a thieving bastard

RON: He's a smart thieving bastard, get your gear off

[Pete takes all his clothes off. Standing in front of Ron and Garry naked]

PETER: See anything you like

RON: Nah you’re not my type

Hit Me [1.2]

[Newstead’s doing his morning swim]

OSCAR: Fit bastard!

BODYGUARD: Every morning, rain, hail or shine...

ANGIE: Oi Church! Step out of the fast lane you nearly ran be over back there!

PETER: I need the attention. You’ve been ignoring me lately.

ANGIE: I think you can live without my acknowledgement.

PETER: Yeah, but life wouldn’t be so sweet.

ANGIE: You know I think that outfit is beginning to affect your personality.

PETER: Yeah, how’s that?

ANGIE: Well you’re becoming a legend in your own spiffy suit.

ANGIE: Before you know it you’ll be bulldozing national trust buildings.

PETER: Yeah, maybe a really old one.

ANIGE: Oh, you’re a worry.

PETER: And you reckon I’m good at this job.

MAC (whispering): Come on, Pete.

PETER: Never ends, does it.

Backlash [1.6]

[Mac and Pete are lying in bed, in one of their hundreds of motels]

MAC: What are we doing Peter?

PETER: Having a rest. We just earned it.

MAC: I’m not talking about that!

PETER: Well what are you talking about?

MAC: The future.

PETER: What about the future?

MAC: We don't have one.

PETER: No future, no past. Isn't that what it’s supposed to be?

MAC: Mmm yeah.

BERNIE: Peter, where are you off to?

PETER: Somewhere dark and quiet with cold beer, where I can lick my wounds and dream about boats...

BERNIE: Boats?

PETER: You treat 'em right and they whisper sweet nothings in your ear and rock you gently to sleep...

BERNIE: I hate to think you two are breaking the cardinal rule and socializing together when you’re off duty.

PETER: Come on Bernie, you know we’ve hardly got a social word for one another.

BERNIE: Yeah well who ever said that business and pleasure don't mix was right on the money.

MAC: Absolutely.

PETER: No question.

MAC: Night Bernie.

PETER: See you.

Innocents Abroad [1.7]

[Oscar is in the car with a girl who has been charged with the possession of illegal drugs. If this girl helps Stone by introducing him to her supplier, she gets a good word put in for her when it comes to her sentencing.]

OSCAR: So tell me again, this Jeremy, your supplier?

GIRL: Well he’s English. He likes English backpackers, that’s why he hangs round ‘ere. They don’t care what they do for a buck and they don’t stay long enough for the drug squad to pay attention.

OSCAR: What else?

GIRL: He’s Gay! Might help you if you’re that way inclined yourself.

OSCAR: Give me a break.

[Church and Oscar are driving back from a drug dealer’s house, where they have just set up a buy. There are two young, English backpackers, Hannah and Claire, living with him.]

PETER: So you’re screwing her?

OSCAR: Wha…?

PETER: Peaches and cream, the English rose...

OSCAR: Hannah?

PETER: (copying him) Hannah, yes Hannah!

OSCAR: She’s got nothing to do with Jeremy.

PETER: She shares his house!

OSCAR: But…It’s a living arrangement, they do the cleaning, cook him meals.

PETER: Come on.

OSCAR: Hey she’s how I made the contact; she’s how I got his trust.

PETER: So leave it at that.

OSCAR: Don’t I get a personal life?

PETER: Not on the boss’s time. She thinks you live in Queensland.

PETER: She thinks you sell boats, she’s half thinking of joining you in Byron Bay! Are you comfortable with that?

OSCAR: No not entirely. Come on Church you know how it is. You develop a cover you play the part, you almost think its true.

PETER: Except she’s the one you’re meant to fool! Finish it before you stuff the operation.

[Bernie, Oscar and Mac in Bernie's office, discussing Oscar’s bust.]

MAC: But what if he knows you’re a cop?

OSCAR: I’ll take the risk.

MAC: We’ve got nothing to loose? (Looks at Bernie)

BERNIE: Except Oscar! All right, okay Mac. He's to have back up at all time, and wear a wire.

MAC: You’re sounding more and more like me.

BERNIE: Don't push me.

MAC: No, no, I approve, I approve.

Blind Love [1.8]

PETER: Chalk and cheese ay!

MAC: (Turns to face him) Don’t take me so literally Peter I was just building a cover story!

PETER: For the record, I don’t really prefer life by myself...

[Mac nods, almost laughing.]

MAC: Well...like I said, who knows what’ll happen!

Jelly Babies [1.9]

[A drug bust gone wrong, its turned into a siege, Bernie it talking to the instigator. Bernie is playing negotiator]

MURRAY: Shut up Bernie, let me finish. You see I’ve uncovered one of your undercover dudes and he’s on his knees right now. Praying to Christ that I don’t get any more pissed off than I already am right now. You their Bernie? Oh don’t go all-quiet of me mate.

BERNIE: So how do we resolve this?

MURRAY: Well I’m glad you asked that Bernie, I really am you see it’s real easy, 5 minutes, no chopper and you’ve got a man down. Isn’t that what you say? Isn’t that what the copper’s say Bernie, we’ve got a man down?

BERNIE: Look, Murray I’m hearing you on this but-

MURRAY: But! Oh Bernie, it’s the big B word that’s the problem with you guys, you won’t listen to me.

BERNIE: Murray listen!

MURRAY: First you want me to talk, now you want me to listen well you listen. 5 minutes, no chopper your man goes down, another 5 minutes... let’s see which will it be... the yuppie, or the drug dealer, eenie, meeni miney, moe. Bernie you still their Bernie?

BERNIE: Yeah I am here.

MURRAY: Just one more thing mate. (bangs the phone down on the hook)

BERNIE: (Radios Mac in the Com-Vee) Van 1.

MAC: Van 1.

BERNIE: I think they’ve uncovered Church.

MAC: Oh No…!

OSCAR: What?

MAC: They’ve uncovered Church.

Nothing Personal [1.10]

[Mac and Pete were on their way home together, but Mac pulls up at Flinders St Station, with a car pulling up behind her.]

PETER: What are we stopping here for?

MAC: It’s a railway station.

PETER: Don’t I get a lift home?

MAC: Not tonight Peter. (Pete glances in the rear vision mirror and sees that IA guys are following them)

PETER: You got to be joking. What does this dog want?

MAC: Who knows, maybe they’re just fishing.

PETER: Bullshit, I hope its nothing to do with the buy.

MAC: What do you mean?

PETER: I don't know, I don't trust Mooney.

MAC: You get the report back from the lab?

PETER: Yeah, 97%

MAC: That’s pure.

PETER: Mmm something’s still not right though.

MAC: Been any complaints?

PETER: I’ve got a complaint, you’ve been ignoring me.

MAC: Go home Peter, abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.

PETER: I haven’t had a drop for 24 hours.

MAC: You better go.

PETER: When this is over, it won’t be soon enough.

Ten Foot Tall & Bullet Proof [1.11]

[Angie and Stone are bugging a cheap, hotel room.]

ANGIE: What do ya reckon?

OSCAR: Yeah, as good a place as any.

ANGIE: God-what’s that smell? Old socks?

OSCAR: Love gone wrong!

ANGIE: (Laughs) Yuck, how can anyone get horny in a place like this.

OSCAR: (Sitting on the bed) You’d be surprised! (Bounces on the bed)

OSCAR: How’s it going?

ANGIE: Yep, almost done. I reckon he makes the call from here, after he’s done his business. Then heads back to the office.

OSCAR: Mm, probably, let’s go.

ANGIE: Hope he’s not a screamer! (They leave)

[Angie and Mac are inside the Van, listening to Mr. Phillips and his personal assistant Taya Mitchell]

MR. PHILLIPS: Oh Oh, ooh, oh god, oh yeah!

[Angie shuts her eyes and cringes.]

MR. PHILLIPS: Oh ohhh….

ANGIE: Join the Police Force and listen to people screwing! (Laughing) Not my idea of a fun afternoon!

MAC:(Laughing as well) I don’t think it’s hers either!

ANGIE: Doesn’t sound like it. Haven’t heard a peep out of her.

[Angie’s mobile rings, she takes the head set off and picks it up.]

ANGIE: Van 1.

BERNIE: Angie it’s Rocca, it’s the airport route that’s going to be hit but Phillips could still change it.

ANGIE: Okay, yep.

BERNIE: I’ll keep you posted. (Hangs up)

MR. PHILLIPS: (Through the microphone in the hotel) I’ve gotta get back to the office, I just need a quick shower.

MAC: No he’s getting into the shower, it can’t be him. (A modem is heard.) Oh what was that?

ANGIE: What? (She puts the head set back on, more beeping noises.) It’s a modem!

MAC: But he’s still in the shower! It’s not him.

[They look at each other.]

Together: It’s her!

Faking It [1.12]

[Oscar is in hospital in a coma, after being bashed by a biker, and his father is answering some questions]

NURSE: Has Cameron ever suffered any other kind of head injury, concussion or whiplash?

DAD: Not as far as I know

NURSE: We really need to know for certain. Well does Cameron smoke?

DAD: Not when he was living at home.

NURSE: Mr. Pierce you understand that we really need this information if the MRI scan’s going to be reliable.

[Angie walks in.]

DAD: Perhaps you could ask Michelle (as Angie is undercover as Michelle, Oscar's girlfriend)

NURSE: (Smiles) Do you know if Cameron smokes?

ANGIE: No he doesn’t.

NURSE: Is he currently taking any kind of prescribed medication, natural therapies or drugs?

ANGIE: Um, no.

NURSE: You sure?

ANGIE: Pretty sure.

NURSE: Okay! Thanks. The orderly will take him in shortly.

DAD: Is there anything we can do? I feel so useless just sitting here.

NURSE: Well you can actually try talking to him, even though he looks asleep they are sometimes able to hear.

NURSE: The sound of your voice might snap him out of it.

[She leaves. Angie goes round to the other side of the bed and takes his hand.]

[Oscar is still in hospital, but he has woken up from the coma. His father had just left and Angie is visiting, saying goodbye to his Dad, and bringing some fruit to Oscar]

OSCAR: Now how the hell am I going to get away with that? You realize what you’ve done with this whole girlfriend stuff?

ANGIE: Well you’ll think of something.

OSCAR: Thanks a lot Ange. He never forgets you know.

OSCAR: He’ll be pestering me. ‘Where’s Michelle? When are you going to be bringing her home?’

ANGIE: Well I guess we’ll just have to split up.

OSCAR: What? You mean this could be the end of a beautiful relationship?

ANGIE: Well it would never work would it? You and me (Long pause)

OSCAR: No, I guess not. (They both laugh, and Angie throws a grape into his mouth)

Right On Target [1.13]

[Angie and Oscar are on the beds in the rest room, Angie is half-asleep. Oscar is laying awake thinking, after he was nearly shot]

OSCAR: Ange? Do you ever think about dying? I mean what happens afterwards?

ANGIE: (Sleepily.) Well hopefully a lot of people will come to my funeral.

OSCAR: I’m serious.

ANGIE: Dunno.

OSCAR: I used to go to Sunday school as a kid, but it never made much sense to me.

ANGIE: What? You mean the stories? The Bible and all that?

OSCAR: Yeah.

ANGIE: I can’t imagine you at Sunday school, in short pants (Angie laughs, but Oscar remains serious.)

OSCAR: If you were going to get killed, and you had a way out, you’d take it right?

ANGIE: Course.

OSCAR: That’s the whole point of religion. Helps us face our own mortality.

Lunatic Fringe pt 1 [1.15]

PETER: Mac, We all live lies. Some of us are just more honest about it.

Lunatic Fringe pt 2 [1.16]

MAC (To Bernie): You never asked if I was in love with him... (refering to Peter)

Cast Off [1.21]

[Angie and Stone are both lying on their stomachs, spying on Church and his girlfriend]

ANGIE: Yep, he's seen us.

OSCAR: Talk about sleeping with the enemy. (Takes a bite of his sandwich).

[Angie, seductivly, turns onto her side, lightly brushing Oscars side with her hand]

ANGIE: Hey Stone, don't you think it's fortunate, I'm not the slightest bit attracted to you?

[Oscar returns the glance and points at her as if ready to talk]

ANGIE: Sexually I mean.

[A little later Stone runs across to Church's yacht to plant a bug in it]

OSCAR: Alfa one to base, Alfa one to base, coming to you live from the ship Com-Vee.

MAC: Receiving you loud and clear.

OSCAR: Don't touch that dial. I'm out of here.

MAC: Negative, stay in the facility.

OSCAR: Copy that.

[Later that day Stone is pretending to be doing some fishing at the pier when Church rocks up]

PETER: What?

OSCAR: What? What?

PETER: Come to give advice to the prodigal son.

OSCAR: I'm just fishing.

No Way Out [3.6]

Church and Danni are arriving at a wedding, undercover as a couple.

Pete: How do I look?

Danni: You'll do

Pete: What happened to gorgeous? ..spunky?? ..sexy???

The Wrong Man [7.35]

Leo: "Why, Whats Walken got that I haven't got?"

Peter: "Money... Power... a sense of danger"

Leo: "I've got that!!"

Peter "not like a hitman who's wanted for 5 unsolved murders you haven't"
Chris: "Boss, He's wearing Walkens jacket!?"

Harris: "Oh, So now Church thinks he's a hitman?"
Harris [in interview room interviewing the hitmans target, who happens to own a plastic cutlery factory]: "Yes, the banks of security cameras and the steel gates out the front of your property suggest that you've already taken the necessary precautions...." [Leans forward with a serious expression] "Is someone after the plastic spoons??"

Cops And Robbers [7.40]
Bryan: "My son Frank started jazz ballet today

Harris [Uninterested]: ".... Really?"

Bryan: " ...Yeah! ... That'd be your son one day"

Harris: " I doubt it [awkward pause] well, if you will excuse me, I need the urinal"

Hammer Horror [8.1]

Harris[In reference to Reg 'the ferret' Masters] : "Small furry animals are frequently skittish"

Starlight Hotel [8.11]

CHRIS: Morning.

LEO: Hey.

CHRIS: Hey.

LEO: Mm…

CHRIS: You Know Katherine.

LEO: Yes, I know Katherine.

CHRIS: She’s a bit of a spunk isn’t she?

LEO: Na…

CHRIS: Yes she is, she’s hot!

LEO: No, no, I don’t see it.

CHRIS: You gotta open your eyes boy.

LEO: Mate, ya wasting your time, she’s on my side.

CHRIS: Now, I’m the one who can pick them and I say she bats on my side.

CHRIS: Oh, you’re jealous aren’t you?

LEO: Oh…um…no.

CHRIS: 20 Bucks, may the best man win…

LEO: Trust me on this, just don’t go there.

KATHERINE: How did you go?

CHRIS: Oh...good, I just dropped off the 3 beer bottles to forensics; we should have clear prints for Cal Lewis and his buddies by the morning.

KATHERINE: Fantastic...um good job.

CHRIS: Yep, I was born to be a bar maid!

KATHERINE: I don’t think so, way too much attitude for that.

CHRIS: You've got no idea about my attitude (smiles)

KATHERINE: I'm willing to take a guess.

CHRIS: Um...that’s a provocative statement Miss Marks.

KATHERINE: Oh...it was meant to be provocative Constable Dichiera

[Chris Laughs]

KATHERINE: Anyway. You’re um working so ah…

CHRIS: Yes...I'm Working.

KATHERINE: I'm distracting you...so I'll Leave ya to it (walks Away)

[Katherine walks away from Chris and goes and sees Luke, and walks straight back into where Chris is]

CHRIS: Did you forget something?

KATHERINE: Yeah...um (walks over to Chris and kisses her)

CHRIS: (seductively) What are you doing? (Luke walks in...sees everything)

[Next Morning]

CHRIS: So

KATHERINE: Yes

CHRIS: Somebody left bite marks on my back last night

KATHERINE: Only on your back?

CHRIS: I was being polite

KATHERINE: Why? You weren't last night

CHRIS: Neither were you

KATHERINE: I was just following a lead

CHRIS: You don't need any leading at all

KATHERINE: I might sometimes

CHRIS: Like when?

KATHERINE: When you want it to be

CHRIS: How bout tonight?

KATHERINE: I'll see how my day pans out…

CHRIS: You know where to find me…

KATHERINE: I know a lot of things about you now…

[Later in the day, Katherine is interviewing Callum Lewis and Leo and Chris are in the Observation Room]

LEO: These pricks get sent away for life

CHRIS: Yeah me too... Oh, by the way, you owe me 20 bucks…

LEO: What for?

[Chris looks at Katherine]

LEO: Bullshit.

CHRIS: I swear.

LEO: You're an idiot, I told you not to do it.

‘CHRIS: Ah… don’t be like that, you’ll get over it.

LEO: Crissy, I’ve already been there, like 2 weeks ago...

CHRIS: Yeah right

LEO: She’s got a blue butterfly tattoo on her right arse cheek...

CHRIS: Why didn’t you tell me!

LEO: I promised Harris I wouldn’t tell anyone…

CHRIS: Harris, why did you promise Harris for?

LEO: Because she's his daughter

CHRIS: Bullshit?

LEO: Well, why do you think he’s been giving me all the crap jobs lately…

CHRIS: Shit, shit, shit, shit!

LEO: Yep you’re in deep shit...

[Leo and Bryan are waiting outside a University building waiting for Callum Lewis to exit so they can arrest him]

BRYAN: You know what, sometimes I really regret not going to University

LEO: Yeah, what would you study?

BRYAN: Study... (laughs) ... mate I wouldn’t be studying anything, I wanna hang around with chicks like that… (points to an attractive blonde teenager)

LEO: Augh…

BRYAN: Augh…

LEO: What your sister?

BRYAN: Ha Ha...shut up

Harris has just told Peter to go undercover at a homeless shelter

Bryan: "Gotta get yourself a nice little cardigan if you're gonna be a social worker"

Harris: "You'll be going as a vagrant"

Pete: "That'd be right"

Bryan: " Even better, typecasting!"

End Game [8.22]

[Angie is rather annoyed after she has found out that Peter and Luke planned a bust on Megan Walsh without informing her]

ANGIE: I expect that sort of shit from Luke, but not from you Pete! We’re mates, and after everything we’ve been through you do not treat mates like that!

PETER: Ange, I’m sorry, I know you’re angry.

ANGIE: ANGRY!? No, I’m bloody furious; I have to calm down a hell of a lot to be angry! You guys run a sting on Megan Walsh; I have every right to be involved! I ran around like a bloody idiot for you, I broke all the rules and for what? To save your miserable arse!

PETER: I understand. But it wasn’t my call.

ANGIE: What!?

PETER: It wasn’t my call.

[Luke walks in]

LUKE: No it wasn’t, it was mine. It was for your own good Ange.

ANGIE: What!?

LUKE: Well If Megan Walsh got even the slightest hint of what was going on the whole thing could have come undone, we needed you to do exactly what you did, be a loyal friend, and you were perfect. And if the shit hit the fan with I.A. there was no point in risking your career as well as ours.

ANGIE: You patronising shithead!! You made a complete fool out of me!

LUKE: Never mind...

ANGIE: That’s irrelevant, and while it makes my stomach turn, that either of you would treat me like that I really only have one thing to say, you two deserve each other, you’re a perfect match!

[Angie leaves]

LUKE: Give her sometime…

Random Harvest [8.23]

[Peter has just found out that Leo’s cover has been blown]

LEO: Well that’s great isn’t it...So how did Troy Jones get my photo!

PETER: Well there police surveillance shots...No question...I checked with our lab.

LUKE: Well how the hell did Troy Jones get his hands on them, unless he has access to someone in the Task Force?

ANGIE: The only one who knows Leo's undercover with the Sumarto’s is Rutherford.

PETER: Buzz Rutherford won’t betray a fellow cop, you don’t know him like I do, I trust him with my life.

LEO: It’s not really your Life on the line now Peter.

LUKE: Alright Leo it’s your call, if you want to pull out now no-one will think the worse of you.

LEO: Oh right, well maybe if I stay in so we can catch Serge's killer and the guy who took the Surveillance Photos, we’ll give it a bit longer

LUKE: Excellent answer. Peter, how would you like to shoot Leo?

PETER: Don’t tempt me!

LUKE: Volunteer for the job. It’s the best way to keep him alive

CHRIS: Good call, he’s a crap shot.

LUKE: Chris you’ll be there as backup, you might also prevent Peter from doing anything he might regret

[Everyone leaves except Angle and Luke]

ANGIE: Are you going to follow up on Rutherford?

LUKE: No...

ANGIE: Why? Cause he’s Peter’s mate?

LUKE: I’m not going to follow up on Rutherford ‘cause you are

[Angie walks off with a rather pleased look on her face]

Regular Cast

Peter Phelps - Senior Constable Peter James Church
Kate Kendall - Detective Senior Constable Angie Katherine Piper
Jacinta Stapleton - Constable Christina Dichiera
Gary Sweet - Detective Inspector Luke Patrick Harris
Daniel Frederiksen - Constable Leo Flynn

Semi-Regular Cast

Jeremy Kewley - Detective Senior Sergeant Bryan Gray
Richard Morgan - Detective Senior Sergeant Reg 'The Ferret' Masters
Katrina Milosevic - Sophie Novak
Gigi Edgley - Detective Katherine Marks
Lisa Chappell - Detective Constable Megan Walsh

Ex-Regular Cast

Joe Petruzzi - Senior Detective Bernardo (Bernie) Rocca
Jessica Napier - Constable Kaye Kelso
Nicholas Bell - Detective Inspector Bill Hollister
Ian Stanlake - Constable Oscar Stone
Anita Hegh - Detective Senior Sergeant Ellen Mackenzie
Roxane Wilson - Constable Danni Mayo

Quoternity