Stranger Than Fiction (film) Quotations

Stranger Than Fiction is a 2006 film about an IRS agent whose tidy but empty life is abruptly changed when a mysterious voice begins to narrate his existence.

Directed by Marc Forster. Written by Zach Helm.

Harold Crick isn't ready to go. Period. taglines

Harold Crick

The cookies were good. Thank you for forcing me to eat them.
I am relieved to know I am not a golem.
This may sound like gibberish, but I think I'm in a tragedy.
SHUT UP! ( narrator continues) No I'm not. I'm cursing you stupid voice; so shut up and leave me alone!
I left my thimble and Socialist reading material at home.
I brought you flours.

Karen Eiffel

This is a story about a man named Harold Crick. And his wristwatch.

Harold Crick was a man of infinite numbers, endless calculations and incredibly few words.

And although this was an extraordinary day—a day to be remembered for the rest of Harold's life—Harold just thought it was a Wednesday.

As much as I would like to, I simply cannot throw Harold Crick off a building.

Little did he know that this simple seemingly innocuous act would result in his imminent death.

Everyone thinks about leaping off a building.

We're imagining car wrecks!

Pneumonia. That's an interesting way to die.

Is this a joke?

I don't need a nicotine patch, Penny; I smoke cigarettes.

Jules Hilbert

You have to die. It's a masterpiece.

[to Harold] Aren't you relieved to know you're not a Golem?

It's been a very revealing 10 seconds.

Little did he know, That means there's something he doesn't know, which means there's something you don't know, did you know that?

Running into your insurance agent the day your policy expires is coincidence. Getting a letter from the Emperor saying he's visiting is plot. Having your house eaten by a wrecking ball ... is something else entirely

Dialogue

Harold: 'Harold thought it was Wednesday.' Did you hear it?

Lady at bus stop: Who's Harold?

Harold: I am.

Lady at bus stop: Don't vorry Harold, it's Wednesday.

Harold: What would you do if you knew you were going to die? Possibly soon...

Dave: Am I the richest man alive?

Harold: No, you're you.

Dave: Do I have superpowers?

Harold: What? No, you're you.

Dave: Well you said it was hypothetical.

Harold: All right, you're really good at math.

Dave: That's a skill, not a superpower.

Harold: Fine, you're really good at math and you're invisible. What would you do?

Dave: Easy. I'd go to space camp.

Harold: You're invisible and you'd go to space camp?

Dave: You picked invisible!

Penny Escher: I will gladly and quietly help you kill Harold Crick.

Karen Eiffel: And this coming from someone who's never thought about leaping off a building.

Penny Escher: Are you Ms. Eiffel?

Karen Eiffel: Yes.

Penny Escher: Excellent. May I ask what you're doing?

Karen Eiffel: Research.

Penny Escher: Oh. Am I interrupting?

Karen Eiffel: Yes!

Penny Escher: Sitting in the rain isn't going to write a book.

Karen Eiffel: That illustrates exactly how much you know about writing books.

Penny Escher: And I suppose you smoked all these cigarettes?

Karen Eiffel: No, they came pre-smoked.

Karen Eiffel: What's this?

Penny Escher: It's literature on the nicotine patch.

Karen Eiffel: I don't need a nicotine patch, Penny. I smoke cigarettes.

Ana Pascal: You were staring at my tits.

Harold Crick: No, I'm sure I wasn't. And if I was, it was as a representative of the United States Government.

Harold gives Ana bags of flour and confesses his love for her.

Harold Crick: Miss Pascal, I've been odd and I... I know that I've been odd. And... I want you.

Ana Pascal: What?

Harold Crick: There are so many reasons, so many influences in my life that are telling me, at times quite litterally, that I should have come here and bring you these. But... but I'm doing this because I want you.

Ana Pascal: You want me?

Harold Crick: In no uncertain terms.

Ana Pascal: Isn't there some very... clearer and established... rule about... fraternization?

Harold Crick: Auditor/ auditee protocol?

Ana Pascal: Yeah!

Harold Crick: Yeah, but I don't care.

Ana Pascal: Why?

Harold Crick: Because I want you.

Jules Hilbert: Married?

Harold Crick: No.

Jules Hilbert: Ever?

Harold Crick: Engaged to an auditor. She left me for an actuary.

Jules Hilbert: You were right. This narrator might very well kill you. So I humbly suggest that you just forget all this and go live your life.

Harold Crick: Go live my life? I am living my life. I'd like to continue to live my life.

Jules Hilbert: I know. Of course. I mean all of it. However long you have left. You know, I mean, Howard,you could use it to have an adventure. You know, invent something, or just finish reading Crime and Punishment. Hell, Harold, you could just eat nothing but pancakes if you wanted.

Harold Crick: What's wrong with you? Hey. I don't wanna eat nothing but pancakes. I wanna live. Who in their right mind in a choice between pancakes and living chooses pancakes?

Jules Hilbert: Harold, if you'd pause to think. I believe you'd realize that that answer's inextricably contingent upon the type of life being led and, of course,the quality of the pancakes.

Harold Crick: You don't understand. What I'm saying.

Jules Hilbert: Yes, I do.

Harold Crick: But you have to understand that this isn't a philosophy or a literary theory or a story to me. It's my life.

Jules Hilbert:Absolutely. So just go make it the one you've always wanted.

Taglines

Harold Crick isn't ready to go. Period.
Harold Crick thought his life had no point. That's about to change.
Harold Crick isn't ready to go. Full Stop.
Harold Crick always wondered what life was all about. Then it hit him.
The story of his life!
Truth is stranger than fiction.
Harold Crick's not crazy, he's just written that way.
Harold Crick verdient ein Happy End. Punkt.

Cast

Will Ferrell - Harold Crick
Emma Thompson - Karen Eiffel
Dustin Hoffman - Professor Jules Hilbert
Maggie Gyllenhaal - Ana Pascal
Queen Latifah - Penny Escher

Quoternity