The Great Mouse Detective Quotations

The Great Mouse Detective is a 1986 Disney animated feature film based on Eve Titus' stories. Young Olivia Flaversham is celebrating her birthday with her toymaker father, Hiram. Suddenly, a bat with a broken wing and pegged leg bursts into the Flaversham's house, kidnapping Hiram. Olivia searches to find the famed detective Basil of Baker Street, but gets lost. A surgeon, named Dr. Dawson stumbles upon Olivia and helps her find the Great Mouse Detective, who then sets out to find Olivia's father, and in the process stop Ratigan, the London crimelord, from enacting his evil plan to take over Mousedom.

Basil of Baker Street

Ratigan, no one can have a higher opinion of you than I have, and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
There's always a chance, Doctor, as long as one can think.
(of Ratigan) He's a genius, Dawson! A genius twisted for evil! The Napoleon of crime! There's no evil scheme he wouldn't concoct, no depravity he wouldn't commit!

Prof. Ratigan

What was THAT!? What did you call me!? I am NOT a rat!
There's no escape this time, Basil!
Poor Basil. Oh, he is in for a surprise!
Oh, my dear Bartholomew. I'm afraid you've gone and upset me. You know what happens when someone upsets me....
Fidget, you delightful little maniac!
Bravo, Basil! A marvelous performance. Though frankly, I expected you 15 minutes earlier. Trouble with the chemistry set, old boy?

The Queen

(reading Ratigan's letter) "To our beloved Queen, this gift we send, as her sixty-year reign...comes to an end?"

Dialogue

Dawson: Excuse me, is this the residence of Basil of Baker Street?

Mrs. Judson: [deep sigh] Yes, I'm afraid it is.

Dawson: Now wait just a moment. How the deuce did you know I was a doctor?

Basil: A surgeon to be exact. Just returned from military duty in Afghanistan. Am I right?

Dawson: Why, ha, ha, yes. Major David Q. Dawson. But how could you possibly--?

Basil: Quite simple, really. You've sewn your torn cuff together with a Lambert stich, which, of course, only a surgeon uses. And the thread is a unique form of cat-gut, easily distinguished by its peculiar pungency, found only in the Afghan provinces.

Dawson: Amazing!

Basil: Actually, it's elementary, my dear Dawson.

Dawson: The scoundrel's quite gone.

Basil: Ah, but not for long, Miss Flamhammer!

Olivia: Flaversham!

Basil: Whatever.

Flaversham: You can do what you want with me! I won't be a part of this-this, this evil any longer.

[Pause]

Ratigan: Oh, very well. If that is your decision. Oh, by the way, I'm taking the liberty of having your daughter brought here. [takes out the wind-up doll Flaversham made for Olivia and lets it dance]

Flaversham: Olivia?

Ratigan: Yes. I would spend many a sleepless night if anything unfortunate were to befall her.

Flaversham: [understands what Ratigan is saying] Y-you wouldn't!

[Ratigan picks up the wind-up doll and squeezes it so hard, its head pops off.]

Ratigan: Finish it, Flaversham!!

Bartholomew: [singing] To Ratigan the world's greatest rat. [hiccups]

[Ratigan spits out a mouthful of wine. The henchmen turn around gasping in terror.]

Ratigan: WHAT WAS THAT!? What did you call me?

Henchman #1: Oh, he didn't mean it, professor.

Lizard Henchmen: It was just a slip of the toungue.

Ratigan: I AM NOT A RAT!!!

Henchman #1: Course you're not. You're a mouse.

Hencman #2: Yeah, that's right. A mouse.

Lizard Henchman: Yeah, a big mouse.

Ratigan: SILENCE!!!

Basil: Miss Flamchester!

Olivia and Dawson: Flaversham!

Basil: Whatever.

Basil: [enraged] Ratigan, so help me, I'll see you behind bars yet!

Ratigan: You little fool! Isn't it clear to you the superior mind has triumphed? I've won!

[Both Basil and Dawson are trapped by Ratigan, about to be mousetrapped, shot by a gun and arrow, chopped in half, and then squished by an anvil]

Basil: How could I have been so blind?

Dawson: Well, we all make mistakes, but we can't let that stop us. We have to...

Basil: Ratigan's proved he's more clever than I. He never would have walked into such an obvious trap.

Dawson: Oh, pull yourself together. You can stop that villain.

[The record begins to skip.]

Dawson: Basil, the record!

Basil: It's finally happened! I've been outwitted!

Dawson: Basil, please!

Basil: Beaten! Duped! Made a fool of! So ridiculed and belittled!

Dawson: [finally loses his temper] That's enough!

[The record resumes playing.]

Dawson: Dash it all, Basil. The queen's in danger. Olivia's counting on us. We're about to be horribly splattered and all you can do is lie there feeling sorry for yourself. I know you can save us, but if you've given up now, then why don't we just set it off now and be done with it?

Basil: [weak chuckle] Set it off now. [slight pause, as his eyes go wide, and he realizes something] Set it...off...now? [suddenly regains his old confidence] Yes, ha ha ha, yes, we'll set the trap off NOW!!

Dawson: Basil, wait. I didn't mean we'd....

[The marble start's falling as the record's done.]

Basil: Angle of the trajectory, multiplied by the square root of an isosceles triangle, [mutters] dividing Gutineer's principle of opposing forces in motion, [Continues to check himself] and adjusting for the difference in equilibrium... [all this while the marble has been rolling closer and closer to their demise] Dawson, at the exact moment I tell you, we must release the triggering mechanism. Get ready Dawson, steady...NOW!

[The trigger is released, but the bar traps the marble precisely, stopping the bar. A spring pops off, hits the gun which misfires into the crossbow. The bow is offset, hitting the axehead off and causing it to chop the mousetrap in half, freeing the two. Finally, the anvil crashes down, burying the ax, shaking the ground, and causing Olivia's bottle to shake and pops her out. Basil then whips off his disguise, and puts his detective outfit back on.]

Basil: [Very much better] Thank you, Dawson. [Catches the both of them] Smile everyone!

[Then their pictures are taken]

Fidget: Here you are, sweetheart.

The Mouse Queen: Have you been with us long?

Basil: [As the Queen] You, Professor, are none other than a foul stenchus rodentus, commonly known as a--

Ratigan: Don't say it!

Basil: [reveals himself] Sewer rat!

Ratigan: Aaaaaaahhhhh!

Olivia: Just you wait! Basil's smarter then you! He's going to put you in jail! He's not afraid of a big, mean, ugly rat like you!

Ratigan: Would you kindly sit down and SHUT UP?!

Fidget: We have to lighten the load! [looks pointedly at Olivia]

Ratigan: Oooh. You want to lighten the load. Excellent idea!

[Ratigan grabs Fidget and tosses him overboard.]

Fidget: [as he pitifully flutters in the air] No! Not me! Wait, I can't fly! I can't fly! [falls towards the river and leaves the film]

Olivia: Goodbye, Basil. I'll never forget you.

Basil: Nor I you, Miss--Miss Flangerhanger.

Dawson: [chuckles] Whatever.

Cast

Barrie Ingham - Basil of Baker Street/Bartholomew
Val Bettin - Dr. David Q. Dawson/Thug Guard
Vincent Price - Professor Ratigan
Candy Candido - Fidget the Bat
Alan Young - Hiram Flaversham
Susanne Pollatschek - Olivia Flaversham
Diana Chesney - Mrs. Judson

Quoternity