The Simpsons

The Simpsons is a popular US animated television series on the Fox Network (December 17, 1989 - present) created by Matt Groening. It documents the life of the Simpson family in the town of Springfield.

Homer the Whopper [21.01]

Marth: All right what's our next big summer franchise. come on.
OWW Films Executive #1: You want an original idea?
Marth: Yes. Let your imaginations run free. Something that's never been a movie before, but feels like it has.
OWW Films Executive #2: Extesion Cords!
OWW Films Executive #3: Mixed Nuts!
OWW Films Executive #4: Car Keys!
Marth: Nah. We've already made that could possibly be a movie, into a great movie. There's nothing left.
[Marth's son, Jono, enters through the door to Marth's left.]
Jono: Dad, can we go? I've watch all the DVDs in the Bentley.
Marth: Jono, what's that in your hand?
Jono: Oh. Big surprise that you don't know what this is. It's only Everyman. The coolest comic book ever.
[Marth takes the comic book and reads through a few pages]
Marth: What are his powers?
Jono: All of them.
Marth: That's it! Our next big summer movie will be Everyman!
OWW Films Executive #4: Uh, Marth? Ginormous Pictures bought the rights to Everyman three weeks ago.
[Marth throws the comic onto the table in frustration]
Marth: Damnit!



Comic Book Guy: You are acceptable.
Homer: Great, do you wanna see me naked?
GP Executive #1: Oh there's no nudity in this movie.
Homer: What movie?

The Great Wife Hope [21.03]

Lisa: This goes against feminist bone in my body, but Dad, can't you control your woman?
Homer: How can I control her? I have nothing to withhold.



Marge: Call me a killjoy, but if this is not to my taste, no one else should be able to enjoy it.



(Watching Marge's fight on TV)
Moe: Come on, come on, get back on your feet, I believe in you!
Barney: (Climbing the bar from the tavern floor) I'm doing it Moe!
Moe: Not you.
Barney: Oh thank god!-the pressures off. (Falls back down)

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"Homer": Out of all the stupidest things I've ever done, this is the stupidest. And you're doing it!
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"Homer": She found my one weakness... that I'm weak.

Treehouse of Horror XX [21.04]

Homer: To the panic room!
Marge: We don't have a panic room.
Homer: To the panic room store!



Marge: What kind of civilized people eat the body and blood of their savior!? [Camera pans to Reverend Lovejoy nervously fidgeting with his Clerical collar.]



Kodos: This is the best musical in light years.
Kang: Light years measure distance, not time.
Kodos: You know what I meant.



[Singing]
Moe Syzlack: I just have to warn you, Marge. My taste for romance is kinda perverse. I can only make love in the back of a hearse and I have to be dressed as a Civil War nurse. But you could do worse.
Marge Simpson: I could do worse.
Barney Gumble, Carl Carlson and Lenny Leonard: We're proof that you could do worse.
Homer Jay Simpson: She couldn't possibly do worse!

Dad Says No Teasing! (Butterfinger)

Bart: Behold, the last Butterfinger in the whole house, and I have it!
Lisa: Dad says no teasing!
Bart: Nah nah nah nah nah nah! Whoa! Check out this smooth chocolatey outside, the crispety, crunchety, peanut buttery inside!
Lisa: Dad says if you make a scream, you're dead meat!
Bart: You wouldn't scream.BIZ
Lisa: (gasps in and screams) DAAAAAAD!!
Bart: (shares one half of his Butterfinger with Lisa Simpson)
Homer: (crossly) Now what?
Lisa: Never mind.
Bart: Nobody better lay a finger on my "Butterfinger"!

The Bully

Nelson: Hey, paper bag head! (pushes people over)
Bart: Aw man, I'm dead meat on a stick!
Nelson: How much money have you got, Simpson?
Bart: (to Nelson) $1.03, Mr. Bully, sir.
Nelson: Keep your change!
Bart: (to Nelson) Thanks, man.
Nelson: Think I'll take that Butterfinger too! Ha ha!
Bart: Think again, Nelson, ha!
Announcer: Crispety, crunchety, peanut buttery Butterfinger
Bart: (takes a bite out of his Butterfinger) (to Nelson) Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger!
Nelson: Uh, ooph!
Announcer: And try new Butterfinger Ice Cream Bars!
Bart: Cool man, Butterfinger on a stick!
Maggie: (Takes a bite out of Bart's Butterfinger ice cream bar)
Bart: Aww.

Butterfinger Ice Cream Bars

Apu: At last, they're here! New Butterfinger Ice Cream Bars! (opens the box)
Apu and the Others: (gasp)
Bart Simpson: Hi, dudes!
Apu: Crispety crunchety outside, creamy ice cream inside.
Bart Simpson: Nobody better lay a finger...whoa! ooph, on my Butterfinger!

The Shocking Trap

Homer: Mmmmm...my little buddy's sleeping like a baby, he won't mind if I take a bite of his crispety, crunchety, peanut bu....(screams while getting electrocuted)
Bart: (turns on light) (to Homer) I told you Homer!
Homer: (groans)
Bart: Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger!

You're Gonna Give Me a Big Surprise! (Butterfinger)

Bart: Mmmm!
Homer: Bart, I'm gonna open my mouth and close my eyes and you're gonna give me a big surprise!
Bart: Oooh!
Homer: Aaah! (pacifier stuck to his mouth after saying ah)
Announcer: Crispety, crunchety, peanut buttery Butterfinger
Homer: (muffled)
Bart: Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger!

We're Down to the Last Butterfinger!

Bart: Open Sesame!
Homer: Heh heh heh.
Store Owner: Hey Joe, we're down to last Butterfinger!
Bart & Homer Simpson: (screams) The Last Butterfinger?
Bart & Homer Simpson: (running and panting)
Homer: Oooh, ah-ha!
Bart: Oooh, ah-ha!
Bart & Homer Simpson: (running and panting)
Homer: (takes last Butterfinger) Heh-heh!
Bart: (crossly) Hey!
Homer: Oomph!
Bart: Simpson going deep!
Homer: (grunting)
Bart: Oomph!
Announcer: Get a crispety, crunchety, peanut buttery burst, in every bite of Butterfinger
Bart: Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger!

Karate

Akira: Hay-yah!
Milhouse: (falls to the floor)
Bart: Mmmm...
Akira: Ah, now little spike headed one.
Bart: Uh-oh!
Akira: First lesson. Yah!
Bart: (screaming) (hits head) Oomph!
Akira: Lesson #2
Bart: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Oomph!
Akira: Ah, now we take Butterfinger break!
Bart: (grunts)
Akira: Oooh!
Bart: Hoy-yah!
Announcer: Crispety, crunchety, peanut buttery Butterfinger
Bart: Lesson #3, (takes a bite of Butterfinger) Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger!
Announcer: And try new Butterfinger Ice Cream Nuggets!
Milhouse: I'll be your best friend!
Bart: You already are! (Takes a bite of Butterfinger Ice Cream Nugget)

Share 'Em, Eat 'Em (Butterfinger BB's)

Bart's Angel Form: Mmmm... Butterfinger BBs, why don't you share 'em!
Bart's Devil Form: Just eat 'em!
Bart's Angel Form: Share 'em!
Bart's Devil Form: Eat 'em!
Bart's Angel Form: Share 'em!
Bart's Devil Form: Eat 'em!
Announcer: New, crispety, crunchety, Butterfinger BB's
Bart's Devil Form: Come on, eat 'em all!
Bart: Mmmm. OK, (eat Butteringer BB's) Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger!

One Less Sister! (Butterfinger BB's)

Bart: Hmmm...
Lisa: Math is easy, let's say you have fifteen Butterfinger BB's, and I take five of them, what do you have left?
Bart: One less sister!
Announcer: New, crispety, crunchety, Butterfinger BB's
Bart: Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger!

The Simpsons Ride

Homer: I hate chain reactions!

Homer and Marge: Aah!

Sideshow Bob: You've foiled my plans for the last time!

Bart: You soiled your pants for the last time? HAHA!

Lisa: We'll save you! Onward convenient whale!



Krusty: What do you want? (Doesn't realize he's Sideshow Bob)

Sideshow Bob: A dish best served cold!

Homer: Is it ice cream?

Sideshow Bob: No, revenge! (Hits Krusty with the gun, knocking him out) (Laughs maniacally)



Sideshow Bob: I've taken over every area of the park, there's no place you'll be safe from me. And now, enjoy a ride that's about to be demolished - while you're riding it!

Homer: Ooh, a roller coaster!

Lisa: I'm scared, Dad!

Homer: Sweetie, they won't kill you in an amusement park as long as you have a dime left in your pocket.

Sideshow Bob: There is nothing you can do! You're about to die!

Homer: You sound just like my doctor!

Simpson family: Aah!

Sideshow Bob: Ah, my next victims, so anyway...where were you all.

Homer: Bob, not only are you NOT killing us, I'm having fun!

Marge: Homie, they said to stay seated!

Homer: Oh, that's a load of---AHHHH!!! I always get sick flying backwards! D'oh! Hey, I can see our car! AHHHHH!!!! You guys haven't seen a giant steel ball have ya? AHHH! (giant steel ball rolls behind him) You don't wanna hurt me ball! (starts running) We're both big and round and never finished high school! Save me Tourists!



Sideshow Bob: I have five seconds to kill somebody.. (Notices riders) Hello, folks! (Couch falls on him)

Homer: What a horrible nightmare! Thank God this ride is over. (Huge Maggie tips over large Krusty head) Ahh!

Homer: Let's go again!

Krusty: Well that's our ride...hey what does THIS do?
 
Quoternity
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