The Simpsons Movie

Directed by David Silverman. Written by James L. Brooks, Matt Groening, Al Jean, Ian Maxtone-Graham, George Meyer, David Mirkin, Mike Reiss, Mike Scully, Matt Selman, John Swartzwelder, and Jon Vitti.

Homer

• [whipping dogs while using them for dog-sledding] Run! Run! [jumping from one slope to the other side] Jump! Jump! Land! Land! [while dogs are resting] Rest! Rest! [after stopping for the night] Now I know we've had a rough day, but I'm sure we can put all that behind us and-- [the dogs maul him; screaming] That's my whipping arm! [the dogs abandon him] Oh, why does everything I whip leave me?
• Stay back I got a chainsaw (imitates chainsaw until he runs out of breath).
• Listen to me! All of you! We are staying, we have a great life here in Alaska, and were never going back to America again! [slams it shut] I have spoken! Hmm!

Lisa

• No, I still haven't told you the best part! He cares about the environment! No! I still haven't told you the best part! He's got an [with a heavy Irish accent] Irish brogue! [In normal voice] No, wait, I still haven't told you the best part! He's not imaginary!

Lou

• [To Bart, after he skateboards in the nude] Listen kid, no one likes wearing clothes in public. But, you know, it-it's the law!

Mr. Burns

• So...you want some of my electricity, do you? Well, for once the rich white man is in control! I have two buttons behind this desk: one will supply your town with power, the other releases the hounds. Reach me. Make me your brother.

Dialogue

[The Simpsons are watching an Itchy & Scratchy movie at the cinema]

Homer: Boring!

Lisa: Dad, we can't see the movie!

Homer: I can't believe we're paying to see something we get on TV for free! If you ask me, everybody in this theater is a giant sucker... [turns to face the camera and points straight forward, referring to the viewer] Especially you!

Russ Cargill: You know, sir, when you made me head to the EPA, you were applauded for appointing one of the most successful men of the America to the least successful agency in government. And why did I take the job? 'Cause I'm a rich man, and wanted to give something back. Not the money, but something. So here's our chance to kick some ass for Mother Earth!

President Schwarzenegger: I'm listening.

Russ Cargill: [gets out five files] Well, I've narrowed your choices down to five unthinkable options. Each will cause untold misery and--

President Schwarzenegger: I pick number three!

Russ Cargill: You don't wanna read them first?

President Schwarzenegger: I was elected to lead, not to read. Number three!

EPA Soldier: I'm afraid we lost them, sir.

Russ Cargill: Damn it! Well, then you find 'em, and you get 'em back in the dome! And to make sure nobody else gets out, I want roving death squads around the perimeter 24-7! I want 10,000 tough guys, and I want 10,000 soft guys to make the tough guys look tougher! And here's how I want them arranged: tough, soft, tough, tough, soft, tough, soft, soft, tough, tough, soft, soft, tough, soft, tough, soft!

[pause]

EPA Soldier: Sir, I'm afraid you've gone mad with power.

Russ Cargill: Of course I have! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It's boring, no one listens to you!

[Russ Cargill levels a shotgun at Homer and Bart.]

Cargill: Hello, Homer.

Homer: So, we meet at last, whoever you are!

Cargill: There's a couple of things they don't teach you in Harvard Business School. One is how to cope with defeat; the other is how to handle a shotgun. I'm going to do both right now.

Marge: Bart! Are you drinking whiskey?

Bart: I'm troubled.

Marge: Bart!

Bart: I promise, I'll stop torromow.

Marge: You'll stop right now!

[Bart to Marge attacks runaway for now.]

Marge: You come back here, little man!

Bart: [he down on the floor] I miss Flanders. There, I said it!

Taglines

• See Our Family, And Feel Better About Yours.

• For Years, Lines Have Been Drawn...And Then Colored In Yellow.

Production quotes

• We're very excited about the performances in this movie. Come next Oscars, we think it's going to be Milhouse's night. ~ Matt Groening
• Since 2001 we had been working to get a script that would be worthy of people actually paying to see the Simpsons. ~ Matt Groening
• We've been running a little behind schedule, but only by about 15 years. ~ Matt Groening
• If I were feeling any more pressure, I'd be a diamond. ~ Al Jean
• We're going to put some fake plots out there just to make things interesting. ~ James L. Brooks
• The idea of the movie is that all of us who ran the show at one point, and who have been there from the beginning come together as the writing team for this movie. ~ James L. Brooks
• That trailer is running on 7000 screens this weekend, committing us to opening every place in the world on the same date, which means we'd better get started. ~ James L. Brooks
• We've taken script security to the point of lunacy, although it helped that we wrote it in Aramaic. ~ Mike Scully
• This was enormously challenging, because it involved filling 120 blank pages with an actual story and words people say. ~ James L. Brooks
• I can absolutely guarantee that this film will far exceed the wildest expectations of every Simpsons fan. Start lining up at the theater now, preferably in costume. ~ Al Jean
• The movie is a result of the very singular vision of 11 people. ~ Mike Scully
• It has been rough. We worked at it for a long time and then found out that Snakes on a Plane was doing the same story. ~ James L. Brooks