The Thief and the Cobbler Quotations

The Thief and the Cobbler is a 1995 animated film distributed by Miramax Films, which is part of The Walt Disney Company.

The Thief

These are lines for the Thief that are only in the Miramax version.

(as Tack, asleep, sews parts of the Thief's cloak together) He's stitchin' me up like a boot! Sorry kid, this boot was made for walkin'.
My father, a fireman, twenty years on the force, instilled in me the attitude of "Never say die!" (as the pole that he's on to steal the three golden balls bends:) Although, frequently say, "Ahhh ahhhh ahhhh ahhh ahhh!"
(looks at his reflection in the palace wall) AAAAAAAAAH!
(flies through the window of a woman's apartment with a rose in his mouth; woman screams from inside) Ooh... naughty.
What a dump! Nobody lives like this except college kids!
Gotta get the ruby off the fat guy's head... gotta get the ruby off the fat guy's head... gotta get... (Runs into sign; reading) "No Prayers Past this Point". Hmmm... (turns; runs into another sign) They should have a sign, "Beware of Signs"!
Everything hurts, why do I do this? What's the point... (sees the Three Golden Balls) Oh yeah! Pain's gone!(says next few lines slightly sinisterly) Feeling good...feeling fine...
(running through the palace) Who decorated this place?
(the Thief is on hanging onto a pole, stealing the golden balls) You're gonna buy me a castle by the sea. (as he takes the second ball) Hmm. And you're gonna buy me everything I need to turn a basement into a rec room. (as he takes the last ball) And with you...I tell you sweet heart, I'm going to Disneyland.
What's that? (sees Yum-Yum taking a bath) Oh, a naked lady... but wait, a golden backscratcher!
Good morning, Arabia! I've had my coffee, read the paper, now it's time to get to work!

In the original version

This is Tack's only line in this version.

(to Princess Yum-Yum in Sean Connery's voice) I love you.

In both re-edited versions

These are alternate lines for Tack in these versions.

(to Princess Yum-Yum) And I love you.
Nothing wrong with being a Cobbler. (sighs) Why can't I ever talk when it matters?

In the Miramax version

These are other alternate lines for Tack, but are only in this version. This includes Tack's narration.

The princess's shoe! Halt, in the name of King Nod! Who are you?
So whenever you see a shooting star, be proud of who you really are. Do what your heart feels is right, and you too shall become an Arabian Knight.
Who needs a genie when a tack will do the trick?
[to Zigzag] No more tricks, sorcerer!
I guess they never dealed with a cobbler before...

Princess Yum-Yum

This life I live in regal splendor seems a waste. It's all pomp and circumstance, Nanny. If I could help Father, instead of just sitting as his side, I'd be doing something useful. If I could help just one person, maybe then he'd understand there's more to me.
(to the brigands) Hey, that's my nanny you're sitting on.
That cobbler... He's so shy and unassuming. I know he's just a pauper, but I really, really like him. (the Thief takes her backscratcher) Hey!
Father, I'm smarter than any man in this city and faster than your clumsy henchmen.
End of the ride, Zigzag!
[breaking her shoe] It just so happens, Daddy, I need a cobbler at the moment.

King Nod

(as he realizes that the balls are gone) Ah, the balls--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! The balls are gone! My kingdom will come to destruction and death!
Oh, my God.
AAAH! WHAT IF THE BALLS ARE TAKEN AWAY?!

Zigzag

(as he is being eaten by crocodiles) Ow, my bottom! Ow , my top! Greedy things, don't you ever stop?
Oh Phhhhhh-Phido!
The camp of the One-Eyes... how very nice! Perhaps they'll be willing to pay my price! I'll have those barbarians kissing my feet! (to Phido) And maybe, we'll find you something to eat... eh, Phido?
(Tack has tripped him) Ooh-ow! You great fool!
We are safe from any threat, as long as those 3 golden balls are on the minaret!
Oh, great King Nod, have no fear! Zigzag your grand vizier is here!
(After Tack steps between him and Yum-Yum)What, cobbler?!(attacks Tack)
Oh, greatest king on all the Earth, this lowball, a cobbler of no worth, attacked me in the square today...shall we take his head away?
(when Phido joins the alligators in devouring him) You too, Phido...man's best friend? For Zigzag then...this is...THE END.
We'll see who wins at the end of the day... we'll see who ends up grieving! I'll go to the One-Eyes right away! I'M TAKING THE BALLS AND LEAVING!

In both original and Majestic Films versions

Tomorrow, I... strike... and you shall ride at the front, sorcerer.

Chief Roofless

May I remind you gentlemen that when in doubt, consult the brigand's... handbook!

In both original and Majestic Films versions

These are Phido's only lines in these versions.

(after being poked with the perching stick) What? What? Ohh!

In the Miramax version

These are alternate lines for Phido in this version.

(screams) You're giving me heart attacks here!
(after being poked with the perching stick) What? What, not the stick now! Ohh!
(squawks) I'm so hungry I could eat a vegetarian.
Heeeeeeeeeeere's Phido!

In the original version

These are the narrator's only lines in this version.

(first lines) It is written among the limitless constellations of the celestial heavens, and in the depths of the emerald seas, and upon every grain of sand in the vast deserts that the world which we see is an outward and visible dream of an inward and invisible reality. Once upon a time, there was a golden city. In the center of this golden city, atop the tallest minaret were three gold balls. The ancients had prophesied that if the three golden balls were ever taken away, harmony would yield to discord, and the city would fall to destruction... and death! But the mystics had also foretold that the city might be saved by the simplest soul with the smallest and simplest of things. In the city, there dwelt a lowly shoemaker who was known as Tack the cobbler. (Tack is shown asleep) Also in the city, existed a thief... who shall be nameless. (the Thief is shown sneaking about)

In the Miramax version

These are lines for Tack as the narrator in this version.

So whenever you see a shooting star, be proud of who you really are. Do what your heart feels is right, and you too shall become an Arabian Knight.

Princess Yum-Yum's Nanny

[to Yum-Yum] Just like your mother, out here without her veil.
Ooh, get him,Tack!

In the Majestic Films version

When to the wall you find your back, a tack, A Tack, A TACK! You have all you need, but it's what you do with what you've got! a tack, A Tack, A TACK!

In the Miramax version

When to the wall you find your back, a tack, A Tack, A TACK! Belief in yourself is what you lack, a tack, A Tack, and never look back!

She Is More Than This

This song is performed by Bobbi Page.

Yes, the pretty face

Yes, the sunny smile

Yes, each hair in place

And yes, she can beguile

Proper and polite

Never makes a wave

Born just to delight

And bred to behave

But she is more than this

There's a mind in the body

Of this pretty miss

She is more than this

So much more, so much more

She is more than this

Outwardly she's free

Inwardly she's bound

Given half the chance

She might prove profound

Has a thought or two

Different from the rest

Has a point of view

That must be expressed

Yes, she is more than this

There's a mind in the body

Of this pretty miss

She is more than this

So much more, so much more

She is more than this

Am I Feeling Love?

Performed by Bobbi Page and Steve Lively; Pop version performed by Arnold McCuller and Andrea Robinson.

I close my eyes and see his eyes

So soft and warm and clear.

I dream awake of holding her.

I dream that she's right here.

I sense in all his silences.

More than his words could say.

"Don't fight your feelings," says my heart

A heart I will obey.

Am I feeling love?

Can it really be happening to me?

Am I feeling love?

For sure, a most unlikely match.

Implausible and strange.

But when it seems my heart and I

Refuse to rearrange.

Am I feeling love?

Can it really be happening to me?

Am I feeling love?

I think, I feel, he'd be there for me.

I feel, I think, I could be there for her

Easily.

Am I feeling love?

Could it really be happening to me?

Am I feeling love?

This first time feeling

So sweet of healing

It has me asking

Am I feeling love?

Bom Bom Bom Beem Bom Booly Booly Bibalee Bool (We're What Happens When You Don't Finish School)

performed by "The Brigands": Randy Crenshaw, Kevin Dorsey, Roger Freeland, Nick Jameson, Bob Joyce, Jon Joyce, Kerry Katz, Ted King, Michael Lanning, Raymond McLeod, Rick Charles Nelson, Scott Rummel

Bom bom bom beem bom

Booly booly bibalee bool

We're what happens when you don't finish school

Bom bom bom beem bom

Booly booly bibalee bool

We're what happens when you don't finish school

Sent here twenty years ago

By the king to guard his borders

We don't know when to return

Cause no one here can read his orders

Bom bom bom beem bom

Booly booly bibalee bool

We're what happens when you don't finish school

Bom bom bom beem bom

Booly booly bibalee bool

We're what happens when you don't finish school

Lately, things have been so bad

There just are no words to tell it

And if we should find a word

I'm sure none of us can spell it

We miss our mothers and our fathers

It's a painful, sad condition

It's hard to tell ya just how much

Cause we never learned addition

Bom bom bom beem bom

So we sit around

And scare any traveler passing through here

Since we never learned a trade

It's the only thing to do here

Bom bom bom beem bom

Booly booly bibalee bool

That's what happens when you don't finish school

Bom bom bom beem bom

Booly booly bibalee bool

We're what happens when you don't finish school

Bom bom bom beem bom

Booly booly bibalee bool

In all versions

Zigzag: O Great King Nod, have no fear. Zigzag, your grand vizier is here!
King Nod: (wakes up) What, what? (bored) Oh, it's you... Zigzag!
King Nod: (wakes up) AAAH! WHAT IF THE BALLS ARE TAKEN AWAY?!
Zigzag: A way has never been found to take them away! What freak of nature could never, ever get up to the top of that minaret?(Thief actually goes OVER minaret)

In the original version

These are lines that are only heard in this version.

King Nod: (speaking on the returning of the Golden Balls which Zigzag can supposedly restore with magic) I'll give, you anything, Zigzag! Just do it!
Zigzag: As my peril will be (face resembles skull) dire, you must grant my heart's desire!
King Nod: Which is?
Zigzag: I require, sire, your daughter Yum-Yum... (whispers) to wed.
King Nod: (furious) You want my daughter? NEVER! NEVER! EVER! GET OUT! OUUUUT!
Zigzag: Well, I just thought I'd... (leaves) We'll see who wins at the end of the day! We'll see who ends up grieving! I'll go to the One-Eyes right away! I'm taking my balls and leaving!
Zigzag: And now, O greatest of the great, to rest you from opposive state. I've searched the world and brought you thence, at no little effort and great expence. A play-thing!
Princess Yum-Yum: (bored) Oh.
Zigzag: From far south of Gaza, a bountiful maiden from (whispers lecherously into King Nod's ear) Mombassa!
King Nod: Oh-oh-oh! Mombassa!
Princess Yum-Yum: Who is this?
Zigzag: O Greatest King of all the Earth, this low-born (uses cane to stop Tack from walking off) cobbler of no worth attacked me in the square today. Shall we take his head away?
King Nod: (wakes up) What? No. Yes, Zigzag, if you really think so.
Princess Yum-Yum: But what has he done?
Zigzag: (takes a tack from Tack's mouth) Attacked me!
Princess Yum-Yum: Really?
Zigzag: (hisses) Yes!

In both original and Majestic Films versions

These are lines that are only heard in these version.

Mighty One-Eye: (Zigzag presents himself before the One-Eye) Sorcerer?
Zigzag: I conjure demons, and charm beasts! And birds of prey, too! Phido!
Phido the Vulture: (makes Phido through hoops) AWWK!
Zigzag: But as you see, that's not all I can do! Haha! Hee-hee! I have power over people, too, though they may appear complex. For me... they fall like playing cards... and I control the decks! (brandishes deck of cards with tricks but they slip up)
Zigzag: Ah! Eh-heh! Ho ho! Ah! Hee-hee! But all this is nothing for now in my hand is the very key to the Golden land, for no man can take it, no matter how great, unless he possesses these three balls... (presents balls) OF FATE!
Mighty One-Eye: You say you can charm beasts? (laughs to himself, then Zigzag laughs to himself, too) THROW HIM TO THE ALLIGATORS!

In both re-edited versions

These are lines that are only heard in these version.

-Princess Yum-Yum's Nanny: Your bath's ready! The water's getting cold! Princess, he's a Cobbler! Keep your eyes on your work, Cobbler!
Tack the Cobbler: Y-yes, ma'am. (after Princess Yum-Yum and Princess Yum-Yum's Nanny leaves) Nothing wrong with being a Cobbler. (sighs) Why can't I ever talk when it matters?
King Nod: (speaking on the returning of the Golden Balls which Zigzag can supposedly restore with magic) I'll give, you anything, Zigzag! Just do it!
Zigzag: As my peril will be (face resembles skull) dire, you must grant my heart's desire!
King Nod: Which is?
Zigzag: I require, sire, your daughter Yum-Yum... (whispers) to wed.
King Nod: (laughing) You? Worthy of my daughter? A practitioner of the black heart? (laughing) No. She can only marry a man pure of heart. You will never marry her! Never! (laughing) Not in a thousand years.
Zigzag: We'll see who wins at the end of the day! We'll see who ends up grieving! I'll go to the One-Eyes right away! I'm taking my balls and leaving!
King Nod: If only I had a son...
Princess Yum-Yum: A son? Nonsense! Where do I find this witch?
Princess Yum-Yum: Do cobblers have names?
Tack the Cobbler: (nods)
Princess Yum-Yum: Well, what is your name?
Tack the Cobbler: (holds up a tack) Tack.
Princess Yum-Yum: Tack? Is that your name?
Zigzag: O Greatest King of all the Earth, this low-born (uses cane to stop Tack from walking off) cobbler of no worth attacked me in the square today. Shall we take his head away?
King Nod: (wakes up) Oh, yes, Zigzag, if you really think so.
Princess Yum-Yum: But what has he done?
Zigzag: (takes a tack from Tack's mouth) Attacked me!
Princess Yum-Yum: Oh, really?
Zigzag: (hisses) Yes!
Princess Yum-Yum: And who are you?
Chief Roofless: Well, I... I am Roofless, the chieftain, and this is my band of brigands.

In the Miramax version

These are lines that are only heard in this version.

Mighty One-Eye: (Zigzag presents himself before the One-Eye) Sorcerer?
Zigzag: I conjure demons, and charm beasts! And birds of prey, too! Phido!
Phido the Vulture: (makes Phido through hoops) AWWK! Come on, boss, I--I need a rehearsal here. (One-Eyes laugh) Fire! Fire! FIRE! (sqwaking)
Zigzag: But as you see, that's not all I can do! Haha! Hee-hee! I have power over people, too, though they may appear complex. For me... they fall like playing cards... and I control the decks! (brandishes deck of cards with tricks but they slip up)
Zigzag: Ah! Eh-heh! Ho ho! Ah! Hee-hee! But all this is nothing for now in my hand is the very key to the Golden land, for no man can take it, no matter how great, unless he possesses these three balls... (presents balls) OF FATE!
Mighty One-Eye: You say you can charm beasts? (laughs to himself, then Zigzag laughs to himself, too) THROW HIM TO THE ALLIGATORS!
Mad Holy Old Witch: When to the wall you find your back, a tack, A Tack, A TACK!
Princess Yum-Yum: How can we attack the One-Eyes?
Mad Holy Old Witch: Belief in yourself is what you lack, a tack, A Tack, and never look back!

Quoternity