The Yes Men

Smokey The Log

Fire crackles

GIRL: Gee Dad, where did all these logs come from?

DAD: Well Liz, let me tell you a story about a friend of mine. His name's Smokey the Log.

Music starts, girl and Dad sing together.

With a stump for a head

and a body made of oak

we will find him in the lumber yard

a-breathing in the smoke.

People stop and listen

to hear his monologue

because everybody knows

that he's the lumber loving log.

CHORUS:

Smokey the Log (Smokey the Log)

Lightin' (fire starts) and a sparkin and a-barkin' like a dog (chainsaw starts)

He can start a fire and it burns into a flame (flame noise)

and that's why they call him Smokey--

yes, that's how he got his name.

You can take a tip from smokey:

it's hard to be a tree.

Sitting in one place is as boring as can be.

But if we chop him up it's not just good for lumber industry --

it's good for poor old smokey, 'cuz that's how we set him free.


(CHORUS)

DAD: You see every year we cut down thousands and thousands of trees just like Smokey. (baby sound) Then we strip them of their bark and put them on trains and send them across this great country of ours. And we burn those little fellas right here in homes like this one.

Match ignites

MAN: Say "Bye, Smokey"

KIDS: Bye, Smokey!

Now the forest is a dangerous and fire-prone place,

when a tree burns in a forest it's a terrible waste.

So we strip 'em and we ship 'em to gain utility

and then we'll see the potential of what a forest can really be.

(CHORUS)