Thomas Kinsella (New York)

Directed and written by Steve Oedekirk.

T

• Welcome to hell, bitch! Car, keys, wallet, now. You hear what I said? Alright, now you listen and you listen good. This is a gun. Don't be fuckin' around with no gun, white boy. Helen Keller, I'm talkin' to you! (in retarded voice) Can you hear what the fuck I'm sayin' to you!

• Alright man, you win, is that what you want to hear you win. (Nick starts slapping himself) What the fuck? Hey man, you ain't one of them desert slashers are you? Cut a person's body up and leave it out in the desert in little tiny peices and shit, huh? Oh shit! We are in the fuckin' desert. I'm in the car with a pyscho freaky Jason hack and kill a motherfucker! Please don't kill me freaky Jason. I said please don't kill me freaky Jason!

Dialogue

T: It is clear you have woman problems.

Nick: You're way off base.

T: Oh, I'm off base.

Nick: Yeah, WAY off base.

T: She mess around on you?

Nick: Look, even if I wanted to talk about it, which I don't, it wouldn't be with you.

T: You give her some nastiness? I know you gave her some serious nastiness. What about him? You fuck him up? I bet you hit that motherfucker with a bat, didn't you? Clang! Fucked his ass up, didn't you? No, wait! You capped him, you capped that motherfucker, that's why you're out here in the desert ain't ya!

Nick: Look, I didn't say anything to them, I just left okay, I just left.

T: What you mean, you just left.

Nick: I left, okay, I saw them doing...you know, and I walked away.

T: What a pussy. Man, no wonder you're woman is sneaking behind your back, man. You know what you need, you need to have the respect of you're woman man. Me? I got all that. I come home, my dinner's on the table. BAM! I don't wanna hear shit woman. And when I want lovin' , when I'm in the mood, I get that too.

Nick: You're so full of shit, what would you have done?

T: Man, I'd have gone back into that house, and pulled a Terminator on the front door, boom boom boom! Who the fuck you think you're playin' with woman! You think I'm some kind of fruity pie? I ain't no fruity pie, I'm Nick Beam. Okay. I'm Nick Beam. And Nick Beam ain't putting up with that bullshit! She be cryin' you know, 'Oh Nick, please take me back please it was only one time'. I'm gonna one time your ass! You see Nick Beam is the ruler of his destiny, so if you want to cry on someone's shoulder, why don't you cry on Super Dick! As for Nick Beam, I'm fit, lit, and I damn sure ain't takin' no shit. So you...can get the FUCK...OUT! (pauses) That's what I'd have told the bitch. That's what I told the bitch. (Nick stares at him for a second and then lunges over the table and chokes him)

T: It's easy for you to point the finger when you're sitting on your rich ass in a big fuckin' house!

Nick: I'm not rich.

T: How big is your TV?

Nick: 50 inch.

T: (laughs) Get back in the car, man.

Nick: Oh please, lets not make this social issue, even if you wanted to rob a place there are smarter ways to do it.

T: Enlighten me Nick.

Nick: A mask! Wear a mask! You see, the police have this thing called a line-up and when somebody recognizes you, you go to jail!

Nick: That's not the point, it's beedle-headed!

T: What, is beedle-headed?

Nick: It's a synonym for stupid.

T: Oh, well here's a synonym for procreation, fuck you!

Cast

• Tim Robbins - character1
• artin Lawrence|Martin Lawrence is the person Kenyan Peter Njenga baba Mary likes sooo much. Which peter? The former street boy of phone +254 722 470 597