Treehouse of Horror X

I Know What You Diddily-Iddily Did

• Homer (singing): Can't get enough of that Sugar Crisp! (After Marge warns him about the foglights) Guess I forgot to put the foglights in!

• (after killing Ned Flanders)
  Homer: (he pokes Flanders with a stick) He's dead! (he still pokes the body) He's definitely dead!
  Marge: Oh, my God! We killed Ned Flanders!
  Bart: You mean, you killed Ned Flanders.
  Marge: Oh, it was an accident! An accident!
  Lisa: We've got to go the police.
  Bart: They'll never believe a Simpson killed a Flanders by accident. Even I have my doubts.

• Maude: Neddy? Where have you been?
  Homer: (moving Ned's arm and head and trying to imitate Ned's voice) Hi, Maude, diddily. I've been having fun with my pal, Homer...diddily.
  Maude: Oh, I'm so relieved. Whenever you go on one of your late-night fog walks, I get so worried.
  Homer: Relax, I'm fine. But when I do die, I don't want any autopsies.

• Homer (imitating Ned Flanders): Honey, I'm home. Oh no, I think I'm having a heart attack.

• Homer: When I think about Ned, I can't help but remember the look on his face when Marge drove over--
  Marge: (whispering from the pews) Homer, shut up, shut up, shut up!
  Homer: Oh wait. What I'd like to say is, we're still looking for the real killers. Anyway, in conclusion, a man cannot be forced to testify against his wife. (He winks at Marge repeatedly.)
  Marge: Stop winking!
  Homer: We'll miss you, buddy. (He punches Ned's corpse in the shoulder.)

• Homer: Yello?
  Voice on telephone: I know you're alone.
  Homer: Who is this?
  Voice: Is this Maude Flanders?
  Homer: No, it's...Homer.
  Moe: Oh, hey Homer, it's Moe. I must have dialed the wrong number.

• Homer: Okay, Marge, you hide in the abandoned amusement park; Lisa, the pet cemetery; Bart, spooking roller disco; and I'll go skinny-dipping in that lake where the sexy teens were killed a hundred years ago tonight.

• Marge: It's impossible. I killed you.
  Flanders: You can't kill the undead, silly.
  Homer: (poking Flanders in the eye with a stick again) He's undead, all right.
  Bart: Are you a zombie?
  Flanders: Oh, I wish!

• (Flanders turns into a werewolf)
  Werewolf: Roar-diddly!

Desperately Xeeking Xena

• Milhouse: Check it out, Lisa! I'm Radioctive Man.
  Lisa: I don't think the real Radioactive Man wears a plastic smock with a picture of himself on it.
  Milhouse: He would on Halloween.

• Bart: I must only use this power to annoy!

• Lucy Lawless:...but I'm sure that once girls get to know the real you, you'll get plenty of dates. Next questions?
  Prof. Frink: Yes, over here, ng-hey, ng-haven. In episode BF12, you were battling barbarians while riding a wing-ed Appaloosa. Yet, in the very next scene, my dear, you're clearly atop a wing-ed Arabian. Please to explain it.
  Lucy: Ah, yeah. Well, whenever you noticee something like that, a wizard did it.
  Prof. Frink: I see, all right, yes but in episode AG4--
  Lucy: Wizard.
  Prof. Frink: Aw, for glavin out loud!

• (Lucy Lawless's armor is stuck to the collector's magnet)
  Lucy: Must..remove my..breastplate... (crowd of male fans hold up cameras.) Maybe later.

• The Collector: (holding original style Star Trek hand phaser) This is the only working phaser ever built. It was fired only once...to prevent William Shatner from recording another album.

• The Collector: Good night, Retch Dude and Slobber Girl. Sweet screams! Ha, ha, ha! I'm unbelievably amused

• The Collector: Soon those bratty butttinskis will be encased in Lucite for all eternity. While we're waiting, here are some names you may call me on our wedding night: (clearing his throat, then reading from a list) Obi-Wan, Iron Man, Mr. Mxyzptlk, and, of course, Big Papa Smurf.

• The Collector: Lucite...hardening. Must end life...in classic...Lorne Greene pose...from...Battlestar Galactica. (goes into pose) Best...death...ever!

• (Lucy Lawless picks up Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl and flies into the air)
  Clobber Girl: Wait a minute, Xena can't fly.
  Lucy Lawless: I told you, I'm not Xena. I'm Lucy Lawless.
  Clobber Girl: Oh.

Life's a Glitch, Then You Die

• Lenny: Hey, Homer, weren't you the plant's Y2K Compliance Officer?
  Homer: Absolutely not!
  Carl: Must've been hard de-buggin' all those computers, eh Homer?
  Homer: Doing what now?
  Lisa: You did do it, right Dad? Because even a single faulty unit could corrupt every other computer in the world.
  Homer (calm): That can't be true, honey. If it were, I'd be terrified.

• Homer: (as the world's systems collapse) Uh-oh.

• Dick Clark: (when clock strikes 1900): Oh no, it's... happening... (his skin melts away revealing a robotic endoskeleton)

• (finding Krusty's invitation to the spaceship)
  Homer: Thank you, sweet clown! In death you saved us all.
  Krusty: I'm not dead!
  Homer (sniffing): I can still hear his voice on the wind.

• (the Simpsons walk through the streets, watching as every object containing a computer chip {which is everything} goes haywire)
  Lisa (sarcastically): Well, look at the wonders of the computer age now.
  Homer: Wonders, Lisa...or blunders?
  Lisa: I think that was implied by what I said.
  Homer: Implied, Lisa...or implode?
  Lisa: Mom, make him stop!