Treehouse of Horror XII
- Homer: Ah, Ethnictown—where hard-working immigrants dream of being lazy, overfed Americans.
Marge: Oh, listen, you can hear the beautiful ethnic serenade!
Male vendor #1: (calling) Apples! I got apples!
Female vendor: (calling) Cholera! I got cholera! (She coughs.)
Male vendor #2: (calling) Babies! Who wants-a babies?
Homer: Wait, this is just a shaved puppy!
Male vendor #2: I can see you know babies. - Gypsy: I sense you have a million questions. But I, too, have one—(accusing tone) are you a cop?
Marge: No.
Gypsy: 'Cause you gotta tell me if you are.
Marge: I'm not a cop. - Lisa: (after discovering Bart has swapped her real wand for a fake one) Gasp! It's a Twizzler!
- Pierce: Homer, no! Don't take out my British charm unit! Without that, I'm just a boring American clod! (voice fading) Thanks a lot, you asswipe! I could have...kick your butt...from...here...to...Albuquerque...you...fat...slime.....bucket. (voice dies)
- Bart: (upon finding a leprechaun to end the gypsy's curse) Here's your guy!
Homer: (picking it up) Let's prove that he's really the genuine item. (to leprechaun) Sing us a song of the Emerald Isle.
Leprechaun: (jabbers angrily and bellows in an Irish accent) Ye big fatass!
Homer: (Irish accent) Ah, 'tis like the singing of the angels themselves. - Homer: I know you don't remember me, but here's a little revenge...Irish style! (sees the leprechaun is sleeping) Wake up, ya lousy drunk!
- Homer: So, everything turned out for the best.
Marge: What? Bart's dead!
Homer: Well, me saying I'm sorry won't bring him back.
Marge: The gypsy said it would.
Homer: She's not the boss of me. - Homer (hits a machine with an axe): Take that! And that! And that!
Lisa: Dad, that's the water softener!
Homer: Well, I am missing the back of my head! I think you can cut me some slack! - Edna Krabappel: Harry Potter, are you chewing gum?
Harry Potter: No, ma'am, it's brimstone. (blows out fire from his mouth, from brimstone) - Matthew Perry (As house): Yeah, could I be any more of a house?