Treehouse of Horror XIV
- Kang: Pathetic humans! They're showing a Halloween episode in November!
Kodos: Who's even thinking about Halloween anymore? We already have our Christmas decorations up!
Kang and Kodos: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! - Lisa: You can still fly to Stockholm.
Frink Sr.: (in a Snake-like voice) Well, it better be first class. Comic Book Guy's ass won't fit in coach.
Comic Book Guy: You may keep my posterior, just please return the "Jabba the Butt" tattoo. - Bart: "To stop time, click watch." (to Lisa) Wow, she looks like a background character in a Hanna-Barbera cartoon!
- Homer: This is for Snowball I and JFK! (Clocks the Grim Reaper with a bowling ball.)
- Homer: (as Frink Sr. begins killing people at the Nobel Prize ceremony) I wish I was death again. That was cool.
- Sideshow Mel: Come! Let us kill them before learning of the magical secret which they possess!
- Lisa: Why can't I tinker with the fabric of existence?
Homer: Let the baby have her bottle.
(Bart gives the watch to Lisa)
Lisa: What happens if I press this button?
(The rest of the family takes off from their waists on jetpacks. Lisa presses it again and the family becomes members of their opposite sex, giant bobble heads, giant TV Guide covers, the Fantastic Four, and finally normal but hula hooping)
Homer: Okay that's good. Stop there. - Homer: No way. I may kill out of anger or to illustrate a point, but I am not a Grim Reaper! (the robe sucks in his groin) OW! OW! Okay, I'll reap! I'll reap already!
- Homer: Jasper, your time has come!
Jasper: Where's the regular guy? Where's Doug?
Homer: Never mind, I'm Death now.
Jasper: Aaw, I liked Doug. (dies) - Frink: You know, now that I have my hammer-screwdriver, I can reanimate my father...without the needless switching of tools. Oh, that is very tedious and ANNOYING!
- Frink: Oh, Father. You're dying again. But I can bring you back to life, sir!
Frink Sr.: Son, it doesn't take five brains in your head to know that's a bad idea! You saw I became a monster and you stopped me, like a man. I'm proud of you. And now it is time for me to go to Hell. Ow, oo, oo, ow, oy, oo, oo, ow, dead. - Grampa: (after having being set alight) I'm still cold.