W.I.T.C.H. (TV series) Quotations

W.I.T.C.H. is a French animated television series based on the Italian comic book series of the same name. Like the comics, the series follows five ordinary girls: Will, Irma, Taranee, Cornelia and Hay Lin, with magical powers who become the Guardians of the Veil.

For details about characters see List of W.I.T.C.H. Characters (TV Show).

It Begins

Hay Lin: Grandma, I sneezed and like totally trashed my room. What's wrong with me? It's not one of those becoming a woman things, is it?

Yan Lin: Hay Lin, you're just a growing girl. Say, why don't you invite your friends for an after-school snack.

[Yan Lin's dresser which is shaking and banging with light shining out of it]

Hay Lin: What's in there?!

Yan Lin: Christmas presents! Don't look!

Hay Lin: What are you giving me, a bear with a spotlight?

Susan: Go on Will, and don't forget, make lots of new friends today! I put a dozen extra cookies in your lunch, to help break the ice with the other girls.

Will: [sarcastically] Gee, that'll make me popular.

Taranee: Cornelia, our project's supposed to prove that too much fertilizer reverses osmosis, killing the plants! Yours has grown like three inches.

Cornelia: Well I tried to kill it! I fertilized its little butt off!

Irma: [whistfully] The judge!

[Cornelia pounds the plant with her fist as the noise attracts a nearby judge.]

Irma: Oh great. You and your little girly fists are gonna cost us a ribbon.

Uriah: Hey, check out the new girl. Hey, Wilma!

Will: Uh, it's just Will.

Uriah: Okay, Wil-ma!

Hay Lin: That's Uriah. Ignore him.

Will: Oh, Hay Lin, I got your note. Thanks so much for the invitation. So, what time are we eating?

Cornelia: She invited "new girl", too?

Taranee: Cornelia!

Will: Want a cookie?

Cornelia: Have you guys noticed a bunch of real strange stuff going on around me lately?

Irma: Oh dear, the conversation has accidentally wandered away from Cornelia's life. Whatever were we thinking?

Yan Lin: In the last few days, you have all had unusual experiences, am I right?

Irma: Not counting this one?

Yan Lin: All five of you will get better with your powers... I hope.

Taranee: Did you say five?

Will: Ummm, hate to disappoint you but I can't even do that trick where it looks like your thumb comes apart, but if I ever have a party, you guys are definitely the entertainment!

Taranee: Uh, recap? We've got to protect the world from evil by repairing holes in some kinda Veil?

Cornelia: This doesn't involve sewing does it?

Cornelia: [to Hay Lin] No offense to your grandma or anything but she's, like, completely deluded. Probably not enough Vitamin D.

Taranee: What about the flower that grew when you just looked at it? And the water in Irma's glass... and that picture Mrs. Lin drew in the air?

Cornelia: [dismissively] Magic tricks! Ten bucks on the Internet.

Will: [after the girls transform into guardians for the first time] Holy cow!

Irma: [to Hay Lin, about their outfits] You know? Somehow I cannot imagine your grandma wearing that.

Hay Lin: What have we got behind us?

Cornelia: [looking at her chest] What have we got in front of us?

Hay Lin: They're wings! We've got wings

Will:They can’t be wings. If they were wings, when we went like this [flaps her wings], we'd... [takes off] aaaaaaah!

Taranee: Oh man. I hate heights. I get woozy in high-heeled shoes.

Hay Lin: [flying in the air] Does anyone have a camera or one of those cell phones?

Irma: This totally rocks! You do something!

[Taranee launches a fireball to a grass]

Taranee: See?! That's exactly why I don't like fire!

Cornelia: Irma, you're water! Put it out!

Will: [scared witless by Cedric] Uhhhh... fire!

Taranee: ME?

Will: Everybody!

Yan Lin: Ah! Lord Cedric.

Irma: Lord? They've got pretty low standards for knighthood over there.

Yan Lin: Cedric is not always in this form.

Irma: Well, that's good news for his wife.

Yan Lin: Let me tell you girls a story, that I believe will have special meaning for all five of you.

Hay Lin: Grandma, they really don't want to hear a story.

Yan Lin: Shh!

(Yan Lin shows the entire universe)

Yan Lin: The universe was once a single kingdom ruled by good, but evil began to take root. A veil was created to isolate the evil kingdom of Meridian from all other worlds. Without the protection of this veil, every world including Earth is in terrible danger. Meridian has been overtaken by a powerful entity named Phobos, but he is not the legitimate ruler, they believe the true heir to the throne is somewhere here on Earth.

Irma: Um, I like to wake up now.

Yan Lin: But portals have begun to open in the Veil, doorways through which evil can cross between worlds. There are people called Guardians, whose job it is to close these holes using their powers.

Yan Lin: I became a Guardian when I was your age, but now the duty is passing to your generation.

Cornelia: Well, thanks for the snacks.

Yan Lin: Ah! Ah! Ah!

(Cornelia sits down)
(Yan Lin shows the mystical Heart of Kandrakar)

Yan Lin: This is the Heart of Kandrakar, which contains the elementary forces of nature. In the last few days, you have all had unusual experiences. Am I right?

Irma: Not counting this one.

Yan Lin: All five of you are starting to notice extraordinary abilities. Irma, you have notice any water near you behaving strangely.

(Irma telekinetically move water with her straw)

Irma: Okay, all righty!

Yan Lin: Taranee, I believe you've always been afraid of fire. But focus now on the candle.

(Taranee shoots fire from her finger to the banana)

Yan Lin: My little Hay Lin, this morning you notice your power over air.

(Hay Lin blows a strong wind stream from her mouth)

Yan Lin: To you Cornelia, is given the power over earth.

(Cornelia makes the flower grow with her hand)

Yan Lin: All five of you will get better with your powers, I hope.

It Resumes

Will: It's Class Picture Day tomorrow, do you guys get dressed up?

Irma, Taranee, Cornelia, Hay Lin: What?! No!

Irma: Cornelia started shopping for it in kindergarten.

Cornelia: [to Hay Lin] Whoa, slow down, Tinkerbell! We can rescue this rebel leader guy after Picture Day, right?

Taranee: Call me a wimp, but in the school yearbook I'd like to still have a face.

Irma: Forget Picture Day! I don't care what I look like, I care about who I am. Let's go kick some Meridian butt! [trying to sway Cornelia] Maybe there'll be some cute evil boys over there. Like the one that snake-thing caught!

Will: I want to go, but I don't know how much help we’re going to be by soaking him and covering him with garbage.

Blunk: Blunk not steal, trade. Rat for bread? Good deal, yes?

Caleb: Blunk? You're that smuggler.

Blunk: Businessman!

Cornelia: Nice shoes. Are you going to the Land Of Oz after school?

Hay Lin: Like you didn't dress up.

Cornelia: Well, we all knew I was lying.

Cornelia: [about Taranee] Here comes Miss "I-get-dizzy-in-high-heels." (indicating Taranee's extra book bag) Is that for your cape and tiara?

Taranee: It's Will's backpack! I found it lying on the sidewalk. The crystal's still in it.

Hay Lin: Maybe she just dropped it?

Taranee: And didn't notice? Get real, her Science textbook alone must weigh 20 pounds!

Phobos: Where's the Heart of Kandrakar?!

Will: I don't know!

Irma: [discovering a portal in the school basement] Will's on the other side of that?

Cornelia: This is crazy. [indicating the Heart of Kandrakhar] Until Will puts that on, we don't even have any powers! We're taking the word of what? Some jewelry?

Caleb: [struggling to climb up the oubliette wall] I've been in tougher places than this. Okay, not smellier places.

Blunk: Too high. Never make it.

Caleb: Have you even trieeeeee...?

[He loses his grip and slides back to the ground.]

Blunk: 3,700 times!

Will: [recognizing Caleb] You’re the kid from yesterday!

Caleb: You’re not one of the Guardians I saw! Where’s your older sister?

Will: Wait! You’re the "rebel leader" I’m supposed to be saving? What are you rebelling against, diaper rash?

Will: I'm going back for Caleb.

Hay Lin: No! I fly better than you. Well, actually, chickens fly better than you.

Hay Lin: [rescuing Caleb in flight] Surprise! Wow, you're heavy. So, do you have a girlfriend? Because I think Cornelia likes you.

Irma: It was so great! We fought and we flew, [about Blunk], and this slim-o creep-o thing escaped into the pipes!

Taranee: If he comes up under the girls' locker room, I'm switching schools.

The Key

Yan Lin: Ooh, Caleb. You are one major chunk.

Hay Lin: Uuuh, it's hunk, Grandma.

Irma: [seeing Hay Lin fly] Showoff!

Irma: Oh, yeah! Well, top this! I give you: [Irma makes a water face resembling Cornelia] Cornelia!

Cornelia: Thanks for the nose.

Irma: Cornelia with a Broken Nose.

[Will, Taranee, and Hay Lin applaud]

Irma: Thank you. Thank you very much.

Taranee: I feel something down the back of my neck!

Will: [in Irma's voice] You promise not to freak if I tell you what it is?

Taranee: Uh-uh.

Will: [yanks an eel off Taranee and says in Irma's voice] Then it's just a hair.

Irma: [referring to Blunk] I think I know where we can find the little troll. Uuuh, we'll need to be magic pixies again. Sorry, "guardians."

Blunk: Blunk a Passling. Passlings can smell.

Taranee: Ugh! Boy is that an understatement!

Taranee: Great. Bat caves, rat-infested alley, and now sewer-diving.

Aldarn: Hi. My name is, like, Aldarn. Would you like to, like, do a 360-fakie ollie with me sometime?

Cornelia: What?

Irma: Wait. You're telling us this is all the stink monkey's fault?

Caleb: Well, duh!

Aldarn: Duh? Your speech has, like, changed, Caleb.

Irma: Uh, is this small bloodsucking insect what I think it is?

Will: Don't say anything or they'll hear Taranee screaming back at school.

Taranee: [to Lurden] You are sleeeeepy. Not to mention uuuuuugly.

Hay Lin: You sure don't look like a good guy!

Vathek: Uh, thank you?

Caleb: He looks like an overgrown raisin.

Blunk: Caleb jealous. Blunk da bomb!

Yan Lin: Shall we get down, Rebel Boy?

Caleb: I thought all Earthlings were strange, but I'm beginning to think it's just the females.

Happy Birthday, Will

Susan: Okay, birthday girl, but remember, no matter how old you get, you'll always be my Pink Perky Poopy Pumpkin.

Uriah: This pork chop tastes funny.

Clubber: Hmm, must be why it was in the garbage.

Taranee: Does this look cooked to you?

Cornelia: Taranee, it's a carrot! The only way it can harm you is if you're mugged by rabbits.

Taranee: Why not your place?

Cornelia: Ah, problem. My last party was so unbelievably great my parents say I can't have another one until after I leave home.

Caleb: We have parties in Meridian. To celebrate the end of Klunderfeast we cook and eat an ox.

Cornelia: We won't be doing that.

Cornelia: Hey girls! Party Friday, five o'clock, Irma's house. It's Will's birthday.

Hay Lin: It's a surprise, so don't tell Will or Irma.

Elyon: But you said it's at Irma's house.

Cornelia: Well, that's what makes it a surprise!

Uriah: Hey! How come Kurt, Clubber, and me didn’t get invited to this party of yours?

Cornelia: 'Cause I'm not inviting creeps? Oh, I'm sorry... [introducing] Creeps, Caleb. Caleb, creeps.

Caleb: Pleased to meet you. Are you related?

[Referring to the map Yan Lin just gave her]

Hay Lin: But why wait until now to give me this? Is it because my powers are finally mature enough that I'm worthy?

Yan Lin: Nah, it was in the attic. I couldn't find it. Found my old tennis racquet too. Fore!

Cornelia: Guess what the theme is!

Taranee: Uhh, "The color you turn when you're gonna throw up?"

Cornelia: Frog Party! Are you loving it!?

Lilian: It looks like someone barfed on the walls.

Lilian: That's my wading pool! You can't have it!

Cornelia: Quiet or I'll shave your bear!

Caleb: We've got to get Will something for her birthday! In Meridian, I'd give her the customary chicken skin hat. But Earth girls do like to buy this stuff that smells, in tiny bottles.

Blunk: Blunk have smelly in bottle! Gargoyle sweat!

Taranee: Let's stop at Irma's house. I have to use the bathroom.

Will: My place is closer.

Taranee: Yeah, but I can't use your bathroom. Because... it's... not on the ground floor! I have a rare fear of high toilets.

Cornelia: Can you believe Irma didn't want to throw you a party just because you told her not to? Give me 13 hugs, Birthday Girl!

Martin: Hey, thanks for inviting me, sweetie-lips.

Irma: I didn't invite you, Martin. I didn't invite anyone. And don't you ever call me sweetie-lips!

Martin: I didn't want to say in front of the other guests but there were flies on your cupcakes. Don't worry, though, I pulled them off. [licking fingers] Oh. They're just raisins. I'll put them back. They're in my pocket.

Blunk: Blunk help with gift. Blunk go inside.

Caleb: No, you can't. They've got enough frogs in there as it is.

Caleb: They have strange customs here. A guy is putting flies on lillie cakes.

Blunk: Sound Good!

Elyon: [about Caleb's gift, a picture of Will in Guardian form] Look, it's Will! As a, as a kind of... fairy, or something.

Will: [to Caleb in Elyon's voice] You're so talented.

Caleb: It's carved from driftwood. The wings are dragon scales.

Will: [nervously] Ha, ha! He didn't mean real dragon scales.

Caleb: Sure I do!

Alchemy: Hi! Remember me from the mall? Alchemy?

Elyon: Remember me too? I'm Elyon.

Caleb: Caleb, from the mall.

Cornelia: [pulling Caleb away from Elyon and Alchemy] Back off, girls. Stick with me or they'll tear you to pieces.

Elyon: So! Are you going to ask me to dance?

Caleb: Actually, I'm pretty good at the Mandurian Gavotte. I'll go find us a bucket.

Clubber: When do we do it?

Uriah: We do it when I say we do it!

Clubber: Sure thing, Uriah… Uh, when are you gonna say we do it?

Cornelia: The world had better be in serious danger for me to leave Caleb with those girls.

Caleb: Where are Will and Irma going?

Elyon: Pizza.

Caleb: Where's that?

Elyon: Oh, he's so cute!

Elyon: [watching Caleb wistfully through the window] Wrap him up. I'll take him.

Taranee: Maybe we should call the police.

Will: For this kind of problem we are the police.

Taranee: I was afraid you'd say that.

Irma: All right! [referring to Cedric] Anyone want lizard on their pizza?

Taranee: Why don't we just take the elevator?

Will: You mean the elevator with the ding like a microwave telling him we're inside ready to eat?

Taranee: Eh, you're right. Let's fly up.

Blunk: Maybe Blunk too pretty to scare boys?

Caleb: I'll risk it.

Irma: My parents have been ruining my party for an hour. I hope you guys like pizza cuz there isn't gonna be anyone left in my house to eat it.

Hay Lin: You're right, they're not inside. They're outside!

Irma: Happy birthday, Pink Poopy Perky Pumpkin.

Will: You know what would be a great gift? For you to never say that again!

Irma: What's that, poopy?

A Service to the Community

Elyon: Oh man, I hate community service day! Maybe I'll stand out all night in the parking lot with a pen in my hand.

Taranee: Maybe I'll sleep in my locker.

Will: Guys, what is community service day?

Irma: Okay, tomorrow morning there is going to be a list on this board: 400 jobs, for 400 kids.

Cornelia: Out of those, maybe 10 won't totally stink.

Hay Lin: And the last kids to sign up get the most gag-a-riffic ones.

Will: It can't be that bad...

Cornelia: Oh yeah? Try monkey bar scraper at the zoo!

Lilian: Mom says you've gotta play "Wobbly Wobbly Walrus" with me!

Cornelia: Beat it, shrimp. I'm going to bed early, and if you do anything to ruin my sleep, I will personally dropkick you into the wolf pit at the zoo!

Lilian: You're mean!

Cornelia: I'm not mean, wolves are mean! GO!

Hay Lin: You're in a grumpy mood.

Will: You would be too if your mom was making goo-goo eyes at your history teacher.

Hay Lin: Yeah? Go Will's mom!

Will: [annoyed look]

Hay Lin: [teasingly] I hear teenagers come here to make out. Suppose your mom will come here with Collins?

Will: My life is over.

Taranee: What's that on your cheek?

Cornelia: The Big Dipper--don't ask.

Return of the Tracker

Susan: [after seeing Will's bad grades] Okay, how's this for a formula: 2 Cs + D * by gum = no movie this weekend.

Cornelia: You just haven’t tried broccoli the way I make it, Vance Michael.

Caleb: I didn’t know you and the poster were dating.

Cornelia: Ahh, Caleb! Sneaking up on people might be okay in Meridian, but here it’s just, like, rude!

Caleb: I don’t get why girls here fall for a picture of a guy pretending to be an elf.

Cornelia: He is not an elf. He’s a "trundleblotten." A tribe of incredibly good looking pixies who bravely battle the forces of Flendar.

Caleb: Hey, I’d like to see Vance Michael Whats-his-teeth tangle with a giant lizard. 'Cause I do that, y’know! Every day!

Blunk: [pulling over in a cab] Yo, want ride?

Caleb: Blunk! You stole a... [reading] taxi?

Blunk: Not steal. At hotel, hear people say, "Take taxi." so, Blunk take taxi!

Caleb: And Caleb take taxi back hotel.

Blunk: [after Caleb stops the car] More! More! Blunk not throw up again. Promise!

Caleb: Hurry up, would you? You’re going to get us in real... [sees Tracker and Sniffer] trouble!

Parents' Night

Eleanor: Maybe it's time she knew.

Thomas: Yeah, right, that we're not human and she's from another world?

Eleanor: I'd hope that we never have to explain her that we bought her here to save her life.

Elyon: [after seeing W.I.T.C.H. transform into Guardians] What are you?!

The Mogriffs

Elyon: Goodbye, "friends"!

Elyon: [after trapping Cornelia with her bubble] Enjoy your new home. You're going to be here forever.

The Battle of Meridian Plains

Cornelia: Elyon, no! These are the good guys! Listen to me, you're incredible danger. Phobos is gonna plan to...

Elyon: I told you to stay away from me! [attacks Cornelia with her wave attack]

Elyon: You will stop this now!

The Rebel Rescue

Phobos: Your friends are becoming something of a nuisance!

Phobos: [after Elyon captures Will, Irma, Cornelia, and Hay Lin] Wait, why are there only four of them?

Elyon: Why do you have to spoil my happiness?! Why can't you leave me alone?!

Cornelia: Elyon, you have to let us go!

Elyon: No, I wanna find out what you're up to!

Will: We have to get loose!

Irma: I so hate to do this to ya, babe.

The Stolen Heart

Will: [exiting the Silver Dragon] Oh, what a day.

Taranee: Oh, what a meal.

Irma: Nothing like rescuing a hundred rebels from an evil Prince to build up your appetite!

Caleb: How are we going to get my army across the Meridian Plains to the castle without being seen?

Irma: How about we disguise them as a thousand door-to-door salesmen? [goofy voice] Hi, would you like to subscribe to Home And Princess Magazine?

Martin: Hey, Matt! I’m glad I ran into you. I need some woman advice. You know, for me and Irma.

Matt: Wrong guy, Martin. I’m still trying to figure Will out. Yesterday, she grabs me and kisses me and today she’s like, get off my sidewalk.

Martin: I know exactly what you mean! Except for that kissing part.

Matt: I shouldn’t have given up so easily.

Martin: I find that giving up is what women like best about me!

Hay Lin: Um, Will, wasn't that your boyfriend?

Will: Matt?!

Will: Oh dear!

Matt: Will?

Will: Oh boy! I’d love to take you back to Earth and explain all this.

Matt: Back to Earth?

Will: But, unfortunately, we’re chasing this little green guy who betrayed us to sell something of ours to the Prince of Evil, so we have to keep moving.

Matt: [seeing Blunk and Jeek for the first time] What’s that smell?

Will: Guardians, unite!

Hay Lin: Watch this, Matt, it's really cool!

Will: Matt, are you okay?

Matt: I think so.

Will: I guess now you understand why I missed a couple of classes lately? Let's go home.

Taranee: [to Blunk] We feel so bad we suspected you of stealing.

Cornelia: Hey, speak for yourself. I’m still missing two pens and a scrunchie!

Blunk: [pretend helpful] Look under bed?

Will: Matt, I know how you feel. It took me a long time to get it, too. The important thing is you can't tell anyone.

Matt: I wouldn't even know what to tell.

[Will and Matt hug]

The Final Battle

Yan Lin: What about the boy, Matt, who saw you in your Guardian form?

Will: I talked to Matt. He was a little shocked. Okay, terror or stricken after seeing the Metaworld, but he knows Elyon from school. He wants to help.

Irma: Sorry I couldn’t keep you, Mr. Huggles.

Will: Me too, Mr. Huggles!

Blunk: [drooling] Blunk take Mr. Huggles!

Cornelia: No! He’s a pet, not a furry snack.

Blunk: Blunk help plan battle and stay close to nice pet?

Irma: Face it, dude, you’re not a warrior. You are a scavenger.

Blunk: [offended] Goods recycler!

Elyon: I used to have dreams about flying. This is even better.

Phobos: Your powers seemed to reach their peek. Your relatives will be proud.

Elyon: Oh, hi! You scared me. You want to meet me for something?

Phobos: Yes, I'm sorry, Elyon. We need you to sit on the throne again.

Elyon: Hey, no problem! It's not a kind of thing a girl objects to. [flies to her throne and sits down] Ta-da! You really think we need more rehearsal for tomorrow?

Phobos: Ah, there's been a slight change in plans. The coronation isn't tomorrow morning, it's going to be tonight.

Elyon: Tonight?! You're kidding! Why?

Phobos: In case any kind of attack was being planned to save you.

Elyon: What do you mean save me?

Elyon: Phobos, please, let me go!

Phobos: [laughs] Dear sister, after all this preparation, why do you think you were brought here?

Caleb: This is it. The final battle for Meridian has begun. You should go on ahead.

[Cornelia arches an eyebrow at Hay Lin.]

Hay Lin: Oh! I’ll be in the other world if you need me.

[She leaves Cornelia and Caleb alone and they kiss.]

Blunk: Boyfriend of Will! Hello again!

Matt: You’re that uh, that...

Blunk: [extending his slimy hand] Blunk! High-five!

Matt: I don’t think so.

Blunk: [shrugging] Suit self.

Cornelia: I had this horrible, overpowering feeling. Elyon’s in huge trouble right now!

Irma: Corny, the last emergency flash you had was that Capri pants were over.

Miranda: The Guardians are here and some of worthless guards have joined them.

Phobos: WHAT?!

Matt: How can I help?

Will: Wha... what are you talking about?! And what are you doing here?! You're just a kid!

Matt: What? So are you! Yesterday, you said Earth was in danger.

[Taranee launches a fire attack on Cedric]

Will: You've got to come with me now.

Caleb: Meet Tynar's group, go towards the throne room, look for Phobos. [Phobos appears] Never mind. I found him.

Matt: [seeing Phobos] Who is that?!

Will: Unfortunately, that's the home team.

Elyon: [after finding out that Phobos tricked her] Cornelia! Oh, Cornelia, I'm so sorry!

Cornelia: Don't be sappy on me. We have work to do.

Phobos: You're no match for my powers by now!

Cedric: I don't understand how they got inside.

Phobos: You have failed me for the last time!

Phobos: [attempting to get the Heart of Kandrakar] You have something I need!

Elyon: Hello, brother!

Phobos: No! This can’t be how it ends!

Caleb: Funny how tyrants always say that.

Elyon: This castle, hundreds of guards, your creatures, all that energy just to perpetuate evil life. Goodbye, Phobos. You were never my brother.

Elyon: I'll miss you!

Cornelia: No way you'll miss me! I'm inviting myself back once a week for dinner in your new castle!

Blunk: Blunk visit lots!

Caleb: What do you mean, visit? You live here!

Blunk: Only part time. Earth need hero like Blunk too!

Matt: Man! I think I left my parents in the restaurant. Oh well, what’s our next adventure?

Will: Our next adventure?

A is for Anonymous

Cornelia: You’re choosing Meridian over me?

Caleb: Try to understand.

Cornelia: Oh, I understand. I just don’t care. It’s Blunk I’m really going to miss!

Blunk: Blondie no worry. Blunk visit Earth soon.

Irma: So let me get this straight: A guy was walking behind you, and then he kept walking?

Taranee: Uh... yeah!

Hay Lin and Irma: [sarcastically] Scary...

Will: Now I'm getting Frosted!

Taranee: Lesson one, Frost: Never mess with a Guardian’s friends!

Cornelia: And lesson two: Pay close attention to lesson one!

Frost: You're still not getting out. Not without going through us first.

Hay Lin: You know, I'm totally ok with that.

Nerissa: Welcome Frost, I am Nerissa. And I have brought you here to take your rightfull place... among the Knights of Vengeance!

B is for Betrayal

Peter: Nice reflexes!

Cornelia: Nice muscles!

Cornelia: Not a word. Not one word.

Irma: Wait, wait, wait! Kandrakar exists? I thought it was just a magical brand name.

Blunk: Brave new world... means brave new stuff!

Will: Oracle, we are honored to...

The Mage: [passionately embracing the Oracle] My dear Oracle!

Yan Lin: That's Tibor. Cute one is the Oracle.

Will: Er... right!

The Oracle:You are now the Guardians of the Infinite Dimensions!

Irma: Does that come with a raise?

Caleb: They’re coming for us!

Cornelia: Thank you, Captain Obvious!

Cornelia: My powers are... amped up! Whatever I tried came out huge!

Caleb: Oh, like your ego.

Peter: Whoa!

Cornelia: Now what?!

[Cornelia looks at herself that she is tall]

Peter: I know this is gonna sound blind but haven't we met before?

Taranee: Duh! No big mystery, Bro. This is Cornelia's older sister...

Irma: Lilian.

Peter: Hi, I'm Peter. [grabs Taranee] I swore Cornelia had a younger sister.

Taranee: Silly you!

Peter: Gotta jet, but I'll see you around, Lily. [bumps to a lamppost]

Cornelia: Uh, sure.

C is for Changes

Sammy: Number 2 is wrong and you misspelled Lincoln.

Will: Huh?! Not again!

Sammy: If I show your credits, it would be grateful for show.

Will: Shut up! You're a calculator! This is a history test! What I need help, go ask...

Dean: Principal's office.

Clock: No loitering in the hallway.

Will: Why are you talking to me?! How are you talking to me?!

Alchemy: Will! I'm so relieved! They're finally doing something about Elyon and her parents.

Will: What do you mean?

Alchemy: They been gone forever and no one else seems worried. So, I convinced Principal Knickerbocker to call the police. [Knickerbocker appears] Uh, well, I better get to class. They're letting me make-up the history test.

Will: Wonderful.

Elyon: Ruling so does not rule!

Caleb: You mean you don't find Hoogan land disputes fascinating?

Blunk: If Blunk claimed dispute settle!

Elyon: I figure out the problem. Somewhere between east nowhere and west nowhere came to me. I missed the princess part of being queen! [dances with Trill] What happened to my masked ball? Where’s my Prince Charming? I wanted a castle on a cloud and instead I got...

Alborn: The Royal Architect with his plans for sewage construction.

Will: So then, Alchemy tells me the police are looking for Elyon.

Cornelia: Good thing you were sent to the principal or we wouldn't know.

Hay Lin: The principal? What you do?

Will: I didn't do anything, Sammy.

Sammy: Please to meet you.

Cornelia: Wild!

Hay Lin: Yikes!

Taranee: Is it artificially intelligent?

Sammy: More like studying intelligent.

Will: Hold on! Hold on! You can actually hear him?

Cornelia: Well, duh!

Will: Duh nothing! No one else can! They just hear me freaking out at him!

Hay Lin: Weird.

Will: It gets weirder.

Ed: Hello, Will. Welcome back.

Billy: Hi, Will. Glad to see ya!

James: Greetings, Ms. Vandom. Please would care for a snack. May I recommend the fish and fruit?

Taranee: Does everything talk?

Will: Everything with a current easier D.C., but I guess Guardians can hear them.

Hay Lin: Cool! It's like having a hundred new friends!

Ed: You forgot to bring me to school again! What if your mother needed to reach you?

Irma: More like a hundred new parents...

Tom: Irma, come in here, please.

Irma: Um, okay. Hi, Dad.

Tom: Irma, why didn't you tell me no one seen Elyon for months? She's one of your best friends.

Irma: Dad, she's at, uh, just on vacation! Uh, a really long vacation. Uh, scuba-diving in, uh, Bora-Bora.

Tom: Who told you that?

Irma: Um, Will.

Tom: Did she told you anything else? Have you heard from Elyon or her family? Got any postcards?

Irma: [telepathically] Why am I always the one getting interrogated? Can't you pick on Chris instead? Pick on Chris! On Chris!

Tom: We'll talk more later. Right now, I need to have a word with Chris.

Irma: [telepathically] Was that? Did I? Can I? Hey, I'm actually speechless!

Susan: Hello? No, I'm sorry, Irma. Will's lost phone privileges for the week. That's right. Goodbye.

Sammy: If I might suggest...

Will: No! This is all your fault!

Sammy: No, please! No more talking in class! Cross my circuits!

Will: What else.

Miranda: [stealing Sammy] Oh, look, Sandpit. I think we just found evidence of a crime.

Tom: Will, these are detectives Medina and McTiennan. They like to ask you a few questions about Elyon Brown and her parents.

McTiennan: We’ve heard you know where they are.

Will: Uh, sure. Everyone does. They’re on a ski trip. In the Alps!

Medina: And who told you that?

Will: Cornelia?

Cornelia: Well, Hay Lin said the Browns are in Australia. Deep in the outback. You can’t even call them.

Hay Lin: Irma told me they’re sunbathing in Hawaii.

Irma: Bora-Bora. Definitely Bora-Bora.

Taranee: Um, could you repeat the question?

Medina: Well, they're obviously hiding something.

Tom: Or maybe they don't know anything and they're just repeating rumors.

Miranda: Excuse me, are you the police?

McTiennan: Yes, and you are?

Miranda: Melinda. I wanna help you but I'm afraid.

Medina: Don't worry, you're safe with us.

Miranda: It's those five mean girls. They pretended to be Elyon's friends but they really hated her. The last time I saw Elyon, they were walking her home. They said they had a surprise for her in her basement.

Medina: I know you need to get to class but thank you for telling us this.

McTiennan: Still think it's just a rumor?

Tom: I'll talk to her but at night, see if she remembers anything else.

McTiennan: Good. We'll get a search warrant for that basement.

Irma: Oh, hi, Dad! I was just... Uh-oh!

Tom: "Uh-oh" is right. I know you wanted to protect your friends, Irma, but you don't have to lie to me.

Irma: I'm not lying! Come on, Dad, you're treating me like a criminal for no reason!

Tom: You want reasons? You've been acting strange for months, disappearing all the time, and after what that Melinda said...

Irma: Who's Melinda?

Tom: Never mind! You need to answer my questions now!

[A geyser of water shoots up from the kitchen sink]

Tom: Oh! Call the plumber!

Irma: I'm so glad you're here! My dad...

Cornelia: Started giving you the third degree.

Irma: Yeah. How did you know?

Will: Taranee suddenly gone "psychic". She can tune into each of our brains and broadcast our thoughts to the rest of us.

Taranee: [telepathically] I'm my own radio station. Too bad it only works with you guys.

Irma: And too bad it wasn't working this morning. We could have used it to get our story straight and... Oh no! You didn't broadcast my crush on Andrew Hornby?

Taranee: Er, no, but you just did.

Hay Lin: Forget that! Look what I can do! [turns invisible] I'm like air. No one can see me unless I want them to. [reappears]

Irma: What's with our powers? They're way stronger! Hello, I just made an indoor pool without even trying.

Cornelia: Tell me about it. Mine have been messed up since Kandrakar.

Taranee: Kandrakar, that's it! Conservation of energy!

Irma: Er, non-brainiac definition, please?

Taranee: When we were in Kandrakar, the Council lowered the Veil. All the mystic energy that was used to maintain had to go somewhere. So, it flowed back to the Heart of Kandrakar and each of our aurameres.

Will: So that's why all of a sudden every appliances are new best friend.

Irma: And why my dad went mind-slave on me yesterday.

Cornelia: And why my powers gone all freaky.

Hay Lin: Yeah! We just thought you were losing it. [turns invisible]

Irma: My dad will be looking for me soon. We need to find out who this "Melinda" is.

Will: I met her. She's a new kid, she seems nice enough.

Hay Lin: Then, why is she trying to frame us? [reappears] Oops, sorry!

McTiennan: Hear that? It's hollow.

Medina: It doesn't match the other walls. It's new.

McTiennan: We need equipment to take it down.

Medina: We need to find out what those girls know.

Miranda: Do you believe the Earth authorities suspect the Guardians have a crime that never happened? And this should seal the deal. [drops Sammy]

Sammy: Ow!

McTiennan: I don't know how you did it, I don't know why you did it, I don't even know when you did it, but I know what you forgot to do when you got rid of your fake wall.

Will: Excuse me? [McTiennan drops Sammy] Huh? How did you get my calculator?

Medina: We've been into the Browns' house. We know you're hiding something.

Will: Uh, yeah, and I'm ready to confess. But, can I get some water?

McTiennan: Hey-hey-hey! Not with the bag!

Will: We have to hurry before the cops figure out I'm gone.

Taranee: Should you guys be here? My mama will be home any minute and she's a judge.

Taranee's phone: Don't worry, I got Will's ring at speed-dial.

Taranee: Is she going to be like that forever?

Taranee's phone: Hello, I got Will on line 1.

Ed: Will Vandom, you lost your phone privileges, young lady!

Will: It's an emergency, Ed. Put Sammy on.

Sammy: Will, be careful! They’re trying to frame you!

Will: Who are they?!

Sammy: A huge, moving sand ‘thing,’ and a girl, Melinda. They kidnapped me and left me for the cops to find.

Hay Lin: [gasps] That thing sounds like Sandpit!

Will: And if the new girl's with him...

Taranee: My allowance says Melinda's Miranda.

Irma: We got to stop them!

Miranda: I'm so glad you're here to play. It's hard to make friends when you're the new girl. [transforms to her giant spider form and Sandpit appears] We knew you'd come! Criminals always return to the scene of their crime.

Taranee: Uh, shouldn't we take this inside? Someone might see us, and...

Miranda: Reveal your identities and destroy your lives forever? Lovely!

Tom: Alright, young lady, no more games! Where's Will hiding?!

Medina: Or would you rather talk about it in the station?

McTiennan: McTiennan.

Officer: Got some flames from the Browns' neighbors. Disturbance in the backyard.

McTiennan: We're on it.

Irma: But I have information!

Medina: Yeah, we'll catch it on the way.

Irma: [telepathically] Nothing's happening at the Browns. Nothing's happening at the Browns. Nothing's...

McTiennan: Something's happening at the Browns.

Irma: Gas leak, maybe? Spider problem?

Tom: We'll know soon enough.

Tom: Irma, stay in the car.

Irma: So much for stalling. Oh, boy! I hope Will has enough time. [telepathically] We have to get to the airport. To the airport. The airport!

McTiennan: We have to get to the airport.

Medina: Just as I was thinking.

Irma: Great minds think alike.

Cornelia: Thanks, Hay Lin.

Hay Lin: That wasn't me.

Taranee: But that means...

Cornelia: I have new powers, too!

[Cornelia traps Sandpit in the trash can and drops it on Miranda with telekinesis]

Taranee: Telekinesis! Amazing!

Miranda: Quite a victory, Guardians. You can brag about it from your prison cells!

Tom: Uh, tell me why we needed to get to the airport?

Medina: [seeing Will] Look! It's her!

[Medina, McTiennan, and Tom chase Will]

McTiennan: That's it! You're coming with us!

Will: Do you even know what are you accusing me of?

Medina: Uh, she ran away from the hall when we try to arrest her?

McTiennan: That's right!

Elyon: Will! Irma!

Tom: Elyon?!

Medina: She's here?

Irma: Why, Elyon! Oh, you would not believe how much you've been missed!

Elyon: I'm so glad you guys came to meet me. Allow me to introduce my cousin Caleb. And my new... puppy?

Blunk: Uh, Blunk barks! Bark, bark!

Tom: Sorry, girls, this is been one huge misunderstanding.

McTiennan: What a waste of time!

Medina: Well, look on the bright side, Mac. Elyon is missing, we found them.

Elyon: So then, I convinced Alborn and Miriadel though. I mean, the Browns, that I need to finish the school year. I'll be coming to Meridian everyday.

Caleb: So will I. I willing to make sure Elyon stays safe.

Cornelia: But won't classes be boring for the queen of the castle?

Elyon: Give me schoolbooks over sewage projects any day.

Alchemy: Elyon! You're back! I was so worried about you!

Elyon: I'm sorry, Alchemy, my trip lasts longer than I thought, but you should hear my travel stories.

Irma: What did I do now?! Steal the last ice cream bar?!

Tom: I guess I deserve that. I'm sorry I gave you such a hard time.

Irma: Oh, it's okay. I've been kinda weird lately. I don't know, maybe, I'm just, um, growing up.

Tom: Well, I'm offly proud of who you're growing up to be.

[Irma hugs Tom]

Susan: I’m sorry, sir. But I received my daughter’s report card today, and her grades simply aren’t improving. I have to put her well-being first. She hasn’t adjusted to Heatherfield. I’d like to request a transfer... out of town.

D is for Dangerous

Will: Matt! Matt, over here!

Matt: Uh, thanks, but I'm gonna keep my boy, Caleb, company.

Will: Since when are they best buds?

Taranee: XY plus XY...

Matt: So, how does Sheffield treat you?

Caleb: Is there really a 6-year-old?

Matt: No idea what did you just said, but speaking of the Guardians...

Caleb: We weren't.

Matt: I want to be part of this whole thing. Vital excitement.

Caleb: You're not a warrior.

Matt: That's why I need you to teach me. Tell you what, you train me and I'll show you the ropes of Sheffield.

Caleb: Ropes?

Matt: For starters, I wouldn't eat that meatloaf.

[Caleb eats it and gets sick]

Caleb: Uh-oh.

Matt: We got a deal?

Caleb: Uh-huh.

Caleb: See? Now try it again.

[Matt charges to attack but falls]

Matt: Ow! Sorry. It's tougher than I thought.

Caleb: He is a cunning opponent.

[Matt's cell phone rings]

Matt: Hello? Oh, hey, Will. I was just hanging. Huh? Uh, sure. Don't tell her about this. She's just freaking.

Caleb: Hello?

Will: Caleb, Blunk just arrived from Meridian.

Blunk: Nice mousie! Juicy mousie!

[Hay Lin glares at Blunk]

Caleb: Right. I'm on the way. Meridian business, sorry.

[Matt charges to attack but falls]

Susan: A toast to A-s and good friends.

Taranee: Thanks, Mrs. V, but Will did all the work.

Will: Well, I couldn't have done it without Matt.

Susan: Matt?

Will: I mean, Taranee. I need to use the restroom.

Will: Did I do something wrong?

Matt: No, it's nothing like that. I've just been practicing. Rehearsing, I mean, with the band.

[Matt holds Will's hand and gets electrocuted]

Matt: Ow!

Will: Sorry! I've been stat icky lately.

Caleb: Ha!

Matt: I stink!

Caleb: Hey, nothing worth dueling is easy and you're really are improving. Mostly 'cause I'm a great teacher.

[Matt grabs Caleb and flips him]

Matt: You are inspiring.

Will: Find Elyon, Hay Lin and Irma.

Matt: What am I, the messenger boy?

Blunk: Mouse for Blunk? Yum!

Will: Mouse is not food! Mouse is pet! You eat mouse, and you’re toast!

Blunk: Mouse with toast yummy, too.

Caleb: Okay, Mr. Show-Me-The-Ropes, why are Earth girls so... impossible?

[Cornelia flips her hair on Caleb]

Matt: Dude, books have been written.

Will: Matt, what are you doing here? Don't you realize how dangerous...

[Will electrifies Matt]

Matt: Okay, I get it! Matt go home!

Lilian: Looking for Mr. Huggles? I let him out so he could meet Napoleon. I think they’ll be great friends.

Cornelia: You set a mouse loose... with a cat?! Don’t you watch cartoons?!

Caleb: Okay, so this is Meridian. The Annihilators attack the farm, the forge, and the market.

Matt: You know...

Irma: Yeah, but how do we stop them?

Matt: Listen!

Hay Lin: Maybe, if we combined our powers...

[Matt grabs a cake and eats it]

Caleb: Hey, that's Elyon's Palace!

Matt: Yeah, figure I eat it before the Annihilators did. These attacks aren't random, they're on a straight line to the Palace. The Annihilators vanish when you go to Meridian and return the second you leave. They're not afraid of you, they just don't exist when you're there. I mean, magic, right?

Elyon: I can never leave Meridian again!

Matt: Make yourself a prisoner in your own kingdom?

Elyon: What else can I do?!

Matt: If you really want to end this, stay away from Meridian. Trust these guys to finish the job.

Irma: Course you have been at school for hours, so the Annihilators could be attacking the Palace right now.

Elyon: You have to stop them!

Cornelia: Do me a favor: take the most destructive dormouse in history.

Will: And, Elyon, you're so much better in folding than I am. With you...

Elyon: Sure, bare-handed folding, my one talent.

Irma: She didn't mean...

Elyon: I know. Just kick some Annihilator tail for me, okay?

Matt: Will, this is my idea! Don't say...

Will and Matt: It's too dangerous.

Blunk: Funny Matt!

Matt: Yeah, Funny Matt. Blunk, you have to take me to Elyon's palace. The Annihilators are attacking.

Blunk: Not sound very funny to Blunk.

Matt: Call me on this. High-tech Earth spyware. You can eavesdrop from 50 ft away.

Will: [after blasting the Annihilators with lightning] Did I just...

Matt: Shoot lightning? Yeah. Explains why you're so stat icky, I guess. Wait, those Annihilators you just blasted. They didn't come back. Guys, force them together and keep them together! Let Will do the rest!

Will: Matt, I don't know if I can.

Matt: She can. Move!

E is for Enemy

Will: My shoulder!

[Cedric eats Matt and Will screams to wake up. The students laugh]

Dean: Will?

Will: Well, Mr. Collins, those mongoloid words are terrifying. Burr!

Dean: We were discussing Huns.

Will: Huns? Those are terrifying.

Cornelia: You know what? I’m so over you, half the time I don’t even remember your name... uh, Kebab!

Caleb: I’m sorry, have we met?

Cornelia: [after seeing herself wet] Hey, this gown is like Cheffon! Dry-clean only!

Will: Guys, this is Mom's executive assistant, Amanda Bolland.

Amanda: Oh, a pleasure! But, Will, your mom's gone for the rest of the day.

Will: Really? Well, I'm sure she wanted us to meet her here.

Irma: [telepathically] She's coming back. She's coming back. She's coming back.

Amanda: Well, I suppose she might be coming back.

Amanda: Oh, I love working for your mother. We've be lost here without her.

Will: Luck thing she's not going anywhere then!

Taranee: [telepathically] Alright, everybody, we need to split up and find hiding places.

All: [telepathically] Right!

Cornelia: Um, excuse me! Hi! Where's the ladies' room?

Amanda: It's down the hall but...

Cornelia: Thanks!

Irma: Oh, right! I have to go, too. Thanks for reminding me.

Amanda: I don't know if you should be wandering alone.

Taranee: Um, Amanda, I'm doing a report on powerful women in the workplace. Could I interview you?

Amanda: Really? Me? Powerful?

Taranee: Oh, absolutely. You exclude it.

MacGruder: [after a bag of dust falls on him] What was that?!

Amanda: Mr. MacGruder says it's a question about direction and judgment but I think the key is telephone skills. Telephone skills and-and photocopying agility. Oh, and personal player. Telephone skills, photocopying agility, and personal player.

Taranee: [telepathically] Oh, I can't take much more of this. Wake up and smell the coffee.

[Taranee fires the coffee]

Amanda: Oh my! How in the world? I... I... I'll just get a sponge!

MacGruder: Young lady, what are you doing in the men's room?!

Taranee: This is the ladies' room!

MacGruder: This is not the... Oh, gosh! I'm, uh, I'm... excuse me.

[MacGruder runs and falls down, tearing his jacket on the door handle]

MacGruder: Aha! Clumsy stackers, spilled and not cleaning up. That's called hazard! I should sue! But after I sue myself.

Will: Uh, hello. You know, I think I did mixed up the days. I'll just head home.

Amanda: But your friends...

Will: Already gone. See ya!

Amanda: Hey, my interview!

Cornelia: Oh, stop being such a baby! Get out there and take it like a cucumber!

MacGruder: You won’t believe the day I’ve had. Accidents. Spills. Bathroom misunderstandings. It’s hard being the boss, Mommy.

Susan: A slumber party? What took you all? This is just the kind of behavior I've been talking about, Will. You didn't ask permission and don't even seem sorry.

Will: Well, I am sorry. I just... everyone was so bummed about us moving that they wanted to stay over and we're already in our PJs.

Susan: Your parents know? Then, lights out. We'll discuss consequences in the morning.

Hay Lin: Air!

Irma: Water!

Cornelia: Earth!

Taranee: Fire!

Will: And, uh, lightning!

Susan: Girls, you're supposed to be asleep, not keeping me awake.

Will: I'm sorry, Mom.

Taranee: Um, Ms. Vandom, can we talk to you something about you taking Will back to Fadden Hills?

Susan: Taranee, it's a family matter.

Hay Lin: But we're Will's family, too.

Irma: That's right.

Cornelia: All of us.

Will: It's true, Mom. I feel like a part of something here. Something bigger. Just me.

Hay Lin: What if we promise to help Will?

Taranee: I'll tutor her after school.

Cornelia: And I'll make sure she gets her beauty sleep.

Irma: I mean, if we all work together, can you please give Heatherfield another chance?

Will: Mom, running away to Fadden isn't the answer. I mean, it's not the place that matters, but the people. And the people are here.

Susan: When did you become so eloquent?

Will: Does that mean we can stay? Thank you so much!

[Will and Susan hug]

Susan: Of course I did put in that transfer request already.

Will: Maybe that won't be a problem.

Susan: It won't. I'll just call MacGruder and tell him to ignore it. [kisses Will on her forehead] Okay, girls, back to bed.

F is for Facades

Taranee: Come on, Cornelia! We're just trying to cheer you up.

Cornelia: I don't need cheering up. Go away!

Irma: I'll show you my latest power. It's all about the colors.

[Cornelia comes out and Irma changes her clothes to pink]

Cornelia: You can change the color of your outfit? And still be so last season! Everyone knows black and white is the new pink.

Irma: I’m last season? Hello! It’s 76º out, and you’re wearing wool.

Cornelia: How many times do I have to tell you? It’s better to look good than feel good.

Lilian: She's just dressed warm 'cause she's going skating!

Cornelia: What?! Lilian, I am not!

Lilian: You are! You said so to that boy on the phone!

Hay Lin: You've got a date?

Will: A non-Caleb date?

Cornelia: You are so not going with me!

Taranee: Does he go to Sheffield?

Will: Does Caleb know?

Irma: Does he have any brothers?

Hay Lin: Does he skate?

Cornelia: None of your business, children! Now, get out!

[The communicator buzzes]

Cornelia: I'll be right down!

Peter: Sure. I'll be right here.

Cornelia: Don't follow me!

Cornelia: Safe!

[Cornelia transforms to her tall self and Will, Irma, Taranee, and Hay Lin open the elevator]

Taranee: Oh, my!

Cornelia: Not safe. [covers her head]

Will: You transformed without the Heart?!

Cornelia: Not exactly transformed.

Taranee: When did you learn to do that?

Cornelia: Since Kandrakar! But...

Hay Lin: No wings?

Cornelia: I don't have Guardian powers.

Irma: Who's the guy?!

Cornelia: I don't suppose you'd stay in the elevator with your backs turn? I didn't think so.

Lilian: Hello?

Elyon: It's Elyon and Caleb.

Lilian: You just missed Cornelia and everyone. They went skating without me.

Caleb: You can really skate in the spring?

Elyon: Earth has its perks. You can bathe outside in winter if you got a hottub.

Caleb: I'm doomed!

Elyon: We'll catch up, too, at the rink.

Caleb: I can’t skate. I’ve tried. I’m a disaster! A face-first, ice-up-your-nose disaster.

Elyon: Uh, well... Earth-girls love a guy who can’t keep his feet. They do!

Lilian: [leaping in Caleb’s arms and bowling him over] Take me with you!

Elyon: See? They love it.

Hay Lin: You come with me, Lilian. You can’t skate on an empty stomach!

Lilian: Can’t skate on an empty stomach, can’t swim on a full stomach. Who makes up these rules?

Irma: What is Caleb doing here?

Elyon: I made him swallow his pride.

Irma: Boy, is he about to be full! He won’t be swimming for a year.

Taranee: World's coolest brother tricked by ungrateful sister. Film at 11.

Peter: [pushed by Taranee] Taranee, what are you doing?

Taranee: Snake, snake! Come on, everybody!

Cornelia: [grabbed by Irma and Elyon] Let go of me!

Irma: Your worlds are so about to collide.

Cornelia: What are you babbling about?!

Elyon: Caleb is here.

Cornelia: [about Caleb slipping] Is he humiliating himself for me?

Cornelia: Oh no! He can't see me like this! [transforms back to normal]

Irma: Here, this will help. [turns Cornelia's clothes to pink] Pink is the new black and white.

Cornelia: Ugh! I'd rather get caught!

Caleb: Ow! Oh, hi. Uh, you look nice.

Cornelia: Hi. Uh, thanks.

Cornelia: [after Caleb sees her kissing Peter] Caleb! Please!

Cornelia: I deserve that. But you have to know: When I thought I’d lost you, all I could think about was...

Caleb: That other guy?

Cornelia: No. Caleb, listen. After you made a fool of yourself for me, I decided to break up with him. I swear.

H is for Hunted

Cornelia: Fine, but no more balloons. I’m getting light-headed.

Irma: Light-headed. Air-headed. How do you tell the difference?

Cornelia: (sarcastically) Big "Ha."

Galgheita: It’s just the realization that I’m leaving! I can’t face it right now. And trust me, neither can you.

Martin: Hey, hey! Come on, Irma! Give it up for the dancing machine! Whoo! Too hot 'til you try!

Irma: Okay, okay! I'll dance with you if you stop doing that!

Susan: It’s like I have two daughters: Will and her evil twin.

Altermere Will: No, Caleb, it’s me!

Caleb: Whoops! Sorry, Will.

Will: No, Caleb, I’m me!

Caleb: Like girls aren’t hard enough to understand when there’s just one of them.

Cornelia: Not so tough now, are you, sushi roll?

Altermere Will: No! You still want to absorb me back into the Heart! Back into oblivion!

Will: If you're really me, you know I won't.

Altermere Will: I believe you.

Will: Of course you do. We’re practically sisters.

Nerissa: [watching from a distance] Disgusting. Still, my fault for betting on a cheap knock off. All it had to do was quietly replace the Guardian, but no. Might as well take advantage of the distraction. [After Altermere Will intercepts her attack] Well, that was irritatingly heroic.

Will: You saved my life, when all you wanted was to live.

Altermere Will: That's what sisters do, right?

Hay Lin: Oh, Will, she's fading!

Will: I know but what can I... unless I have to absorb her, not into the Heart but into me. But only if you say yes, then all your thoughts, feelings, memories, everything will live on in me.

Altermere Will: I like that.

Susan: Did you forget you promised to get this laundry done?

Will: Hmm, I don't know. Did you forget you promised to stop seeing my teacher?!

Susan: Will, I...

Will: Dating? Fine. Dating my teacher? Gross, but also fine. Lying to me about it while lecturing me on responsibility? Priceless!

I is for Illusion

Chris: [leaping out of a car] Ohh...Finally air unpolluted by girl-breath.

Irma: I so wouldn't bring up breath little brother...yours smelt of steel.

Chris: Moan Moan Moan...Feeble Feeble Feeble.

Irma: Listen, you electric furball, No one messes with my brother but me!

J is for Jewel

Phobos: And now for the family reunion.

Will: After reunion we have in mind. I'm thinking we'll reunite you with your cell.

Phobos: And finally, the girls.

Phobos: Destroy the weakest link and the rest will soon fall.

Elyon: Phobos! Who said you could leave your room, brother?

Phobos: No! You shall not rob me of my throne a second time! You shall... [gets teleported back to his cell] not.

Nerissa: The Heart... of Meridian... is mine!

will: it was all hay lins idea.

hay lin:i nearly blew it.

will: where is that comming from.

yan lin: is this about a boy?

hay lin: what no.but i did see this realy cute guy but , the ponit is it was the first time it was up to me and everyone was spread out and

yan lin : and you gatherde them here

hay lin but not without your help

yan lin: you think needing help is bad. working together you find true power,in others and yourself.

hay lin: i dont know.

yan lin:you are a jewel grandaughter in the rough perhaps but ajewel all the same. and pretty soon i wont be the only one to see.

K is for Knowledge

Will: So the hag has Elyon.

Yan Lin: It's worse. That hag is Nerissa.

Oracle: [shocked] No!

The Mage: Impossible!

Irma: Okay, see I didn't bring my who's who from Kandrakar, so Nerissa is?

Oracle: As you know, you are not the first Guardians. Decades ago there were five others. Cassidy, Halinor, Yan Lin, Kadma... and Nerissa.

Hay Lin: They were C.H.Y.K.N.? Wow, I'm so glad we're W.I.T.C.H.

Oracle: Nerissa led the Guardians as Keeper of the Heart of Kandrakar, as you do Will. But I sensed the power of the Heart was corrupting Nerissa. To save her soul, I took the Heart from her and gave it to Cassidy. But Nerissa became obsessed with her lost power. After begging and pleading, she demanded Cassidy return the Heart. Cassidy refused.

[Nerissa plunged Cassidy off a cliff]

Will: Why don't you pick on someone with your own power?

Nerissa: Quintessence!

Will: Oh, I had to ask!

Taranee: [about attacking Nerissa] Why isn't this working?

Hay Lin: She's got the Heart of Meridian!

Will: Which is equal to the Heart of Kandrakar.

Taranee: [panicking] So we're tied?

Yan Lin, Halinor: Not anymore. Nerissa!

Nerissa: Stay out of this, old fools!

Halinor: Or you'll destroy us, like you destroyed Cassidy?

Yan Lin: Does her memory mean so little to you?

Nerissa: You have no idea what she meant to me! [screaming] This is not over!

M is for Mercy

Will: If I make things so unpleasant, why work so hard to bring me here?

Susan: Since you’re here, why work so hard to make things so unpleasant?

Dean: You know, you two are really more alike than you think. [Will and Susan glare at him] Which is meant as a compliment!

Will: That would be our celebration pizza. Got any money?

Susan: It's comforting to know something's haven't changed.

[Will opens the door]

Will: Dad!

N is for Narcissist

Tony: [arriving at a car wash] This spot taken?

Will: Uh-oh, Dad! Nice ride!

Tony: So, when we're done, maybe I can take you and your friend for a spin?

Will: And blow off the car wash? Coolsome!

Susan: A few minutes in a convertible do not make up for months of absence!

Tony: Looks good! Ready to roll?

Taranee: [telepathically] W.I.T.C.H., we got a Kandrakar 911!

Will: Uh, but first, we need more water!

Hay Lin: To wash your car again. Free second wash! It's a special.

Cornelia: Ow! What is this: Attack-Cornelia-Day?!

Taranee: I know it’s a shock, but not every world revolves around you.

Harold: Have you seen the girls? They’re not in the van.

Susan: Nope. Someone gave them the idea you can just skip out on responsibility.

Tony: They said they went to get water.

Harold: From where? The Caribbean?

Susan: [seeing Will barefoot] Will, where are your shoes?

Tony: Well, honey, I got that second wash. You know, that Collins guy is a genius with the shammy. So, if you’re ready for that ride...

Taranee: We are so there!

[Will, Irma, Taranee, Hay Lin, and Caleb appear in Tony's car]

Tony: Uh, okay. Let's go.

Susan: Tony, they've got responsibilities!

Tony: Susan, one little ride... Lighten up!

Will: Stop! Sorry! Bathroom break!

Tony: All of you?!

Caleb: Working with all that water.

Susan: I hope you have a good explanation for being gone half the day?

O is for Obedience

Caleb: Enough! What is going on?!

Julian: The Mage...

Caleb: You mean she's... there? For how long?

Julian: 18 years. But it was 17 years ago that we fell in love and had a child.

Caleb: Wait, you're saying The Mage was my mother?

Julian: No, Caleb, numbers don't lie, and neither did Nerissa. We have never defeated Phobos without her. She and I give the Rebellion nothing less than the rebel leader himself. Nerissa is your mother, Caleb.

Nerissa: I sent the others outside for the inevitable arrival of the Guardians, and so that we could share some quality time, my son.

Blunk: N-N-Nerissa be Caleb's mama?!

Nerissa: You must have questions.

Caleb: Just one, Mom: how do you live with yourself?

Nerissa: By making the universe a better place.

Caleb: No, seriously.

Nerissa: I'm quite serious. When Meridian was under Phobos's thumb, someone had to take charge. To unite the Meridianites and save their world.

Caleb: That was me, not you.

Nerissa: And you were created by me and entirely that purpose. Someone had to

Julian: You won't harm our child, Nerissa! If our love could create this magnificent son, there must been some good in you... once.

Nerissa: Then, just this once, I'll let you both go, but cross me again, and there will be no mercy, no escape.

Caleb: Gee, Mom. Most kids just get grounded.

Hay Lin: Nerissa is Caleb's mother!?

Will and Taranee: And I thought my mom had issues!

Q is for Quarry

Will: Ha! Will Vandom wins! No contest. One question remains: will the pool evaporate before Tony Vandom finishes the race?

Tony: Hey, I'm not that slow!

Will: Oh, I know. I'm just so fast.

Tony: Your times are incredible. You know, I haven't forgotten my little girl dreamed of swimming in the Olympics.

Will: Oh, dreams still there, but right now, I'm just happy to spending some quality time alone with my dad.

Tony: Yeah, alone. Uh, see that's what I want to talk to you about.

Will: [seeing Sarina] Dad, it's okay. I know it's not your own personal private pool.

Sarina: Hi.

Tony: Uh, you're, uh, early.

Sarina: I am? But we said... never mind. I'll come back later.

Tony: No-no-no-no! Just...

Will: Um, what's going on?

Tony: I guess I, uh, lost track of time but, uh, Will, this is Sarina Sanchez. She's my friend, uh, girlfriend, fiancee. We're getting married.

Sarina: Hi, Will. I've really been looking forward to meeting the other woman in Tony's life.

Tony: Will, I... I didn't mean to blind-side you, really.

Will: No, it... it's just I have to get going.

Tony: O-Okay, we'll all get together soon, uh, right?

Will: Sure, Dad, and it was nice to meet you, too, um...

Tony: Sarina.

Will: Sarina, right.

Sarina: Will, what a lovely necklace! Is it a family heirloom?

Will: What? That? Uh, I got it from knocking over milk bottles at a fair. Yup, costume totally fake.

Sarina: Doesn’t mean it’s not precious to you?

Will: Right.

Nerissa: What? How did you find me?

Kadma: Nerissa, there is no place on Zamballa where you can hide from us!

Will: And no way you can beat us. Two Hearts to one. Advantage, good guys!

Nerissa: Behold, the Seal of Nerissa. Two Hearts to one. Advantage, MINE!

Tony: Hold that thought, babe. Will! Hello, Will! What a surprise, Will!

Will: Yeah, Dad, smooth. Hey, can I talk to Sarina?

Sarina: Hello, Will.

Will: Hi. Look, I think maybe I was blind-sided. Dad marrying a total stranger, but all that matters is you make each other happy, right?

Tony and Sarina: Right.

Will: And that means you’re not the evil witch I thought you were. Literally!

Sarina: Thanks, I think.

Will: So, welcome to the family!

Tony: I think this is the start of something great. Sarina has a lot to offer, Will. And an extra heart caring about you can't hurt either.

Will: An extra heart? Advantage: me.

S is for Self

Matt: Game, set, match, Shagon. So Shagoff!

Will: Matt?

Shagon: You pull me back, Will. Save me from myself. Let her go, Huggles.

Will: That's Huggles?

Shagon: Yup. Sic 'em, boy!

Nerissa: Finally, the gang's all here and I think we earned a little power trick. Courtesy of our dear Knights of Destruction. Perhaps the Knights have earned a few more minutes to work their magic before I work mine.

Ember: The battle is not over!

Nerissa: It is over. Time for the Knights' power to serve a higher goal. Guardians, unite!

Cornelia: Look!

(Ember and Tridart are being destroyed)

Ember: My flame!

Tridart: Ember!

(Ember's and Tridart's power are transfered to Halinor, Kadma, Cassidy, and Yan Lin)

Halinor: Fire!

Kadma: Earth!

Tridart: Mistress! Please!

Cassidy: Water!

Yan Lin: Air!

(Shagon and Kor are also being drained of their power)

Will: Matt!

Nerissa: Quintessence!

Irma: You know for once, it looks the battle goes to the good guys.

(It revealed that Nerissa and the former guardians are restored to youth)

Nerissa: The battle has only just begun!

T is for Trauma

Stacey: Wanna, oh, I dunno... Carry my books?

Eric: You-you don’t have any books.

Stacey: Find me some.

Eric: I’ll find you a library!

Cornelia: Nerissa’s going shopping? Oh, big mistake! She’s on my turf now!

Cornelia: Would someone explain how that man could look at me and think camel?!

Nerissa: So much for the element of surprise?

Will: Lose the disguise, Stacey. We know it's you.

Nerissa: This is the real me, once, now, and forever! We are the true Guardians!

Nigel: Stacey, from my heart to yours.

Taranee: He’s under a spell. He’s under a spell. He’s under a spell…

Martin: [about Stacey] She’s my sugar plum cutie!

Andrew: Hey, hey! She’s nobody’s fruit, little dude!

Irma: They’re under a spell, and they’re not my boyfriends. They’re under a spell, and they’re not my boyfriends!

Cornelia: If Caleb ever looked at her like that...

Will: Ew, hello! Nerissa’s his mom!

Cornelia: Oh, right... Gag!

Nerissa: [mocking] Oh, Grandma! My boyfriend’s a charcoal briquette!

hay lin: so thats it

nerissa: yes , I win you lose.

hay lin: no I mean thats how you survive the drama, not by knowing everything will be all right,but by having no other choice.

nerissa: what are yu talkin-

hay lin : I dont have the luxuary of braking down right now , not when innocent lives are at sake!

U Is For Undivided

Cornelia: Hoho... Oh no... No one messes with my sister but me! Will, send me home... now!

Irma: [to Cornelia] One big sister to another... you need to win back her trust... now that she's in Nerissa's sights... her life could depend on it!

Cornelia: Nice try, Nerissa. But even a mouse can see I’m better looking than that. [once Nerissa de-glamors] Wow, I’m still better looking! The Guardian makeover: just not working. The dried-prune look was so much more you.

Nerissa: Fools! The Heart of Earth, it's power has been siphoned.

Shagon: And you'll never guess by who.

Will: Shagon?!

Shagon: Little Lilian gave us her power and look what happened. Guess old habits die hard.

Nerissa: You said gave us your power?

Shagon: Myself, Huggles, and Napoleon. Did we missed much?

Nerissa: I missed you, dear Heart. What do you say we crush the Guardians together? For old time's sake?

Shagon: I say: [blasts Nerissa] Sorry, Nerissa, under new management.

Will: You so freak me out with that "old habits" thing.

Shagon: Old habits, new tricks. Guess I'm hard-wired from Shagon-morph but now I control the on-off switch. I'm still Matt inside and I don't feel hate, just Lilian power.

Will: [sarcastically] You're like a Guardian.

Shagon: I know. Are we like perfect for each other or what?

Cornelia: [finishing her story] Plus P.S. the princess' big sister promises to always be there for her [pecks Lilian's cheek] to make sure nothing ever divides them again!

V is for Victory

Caleb: [referring to Phobos] Meet Sheffield's newest foreign exchange student.

Hay Lin: Too foreign! I could whip something up...

Phobos: [raises hand and glamors himself into a college boy with a black shirt] Am I not down with my bad self?

Irma: [sarcastically] Hey, chillin' with a villain...

Phobos: Oh, how did you people ever devade me?

Cassidy: Destroy Phobos and anyone who gets in our way.

Matt: Anyone?

[Matt transforms into Shagon]

Shagon: Would be me!

Irma: Anytime you want to pinch in...

Phobos: And use of my life force?! Yours supposed to protect me!

Taranee: Newsflash, Phobert! Without Will, we can't Guardian up!

Cornelia: Yeah! What you expect us to do, act as human shield?!

Phobos: Yes! Perfect!

Cornelia: [sarcastically] Perfect.

Phobos: I must have power! [absorbs Taranee and Cornelia's life forces]

Cornelia: [about Phobos] Ew, you guys, I think he’s totally hitting on me!

Irma: Uh! Something’s really wrong with him. [Cornelia glares] I-I’m just saying...

Phobos: [upon seeing Will in the Swim Meet] Ra Ra Sis boom ba!

Will: Ew, is that algae?

Cornelia: Look, I'm working with what I have!

Will: [after finding out that it was Matt, Caleb, and Blunk glamoring as Phobos] Wait a minute. How long have you guys glamored as Phobos?

Phobos: Since the attack in the park, your plan was working, so I thought of a better one.

Cornelia: So you weren’t hitting on me!

Taranee: Or eating crickets!

Will: Or kissing Mandy!

Matt: You kissed Mandy?!

W is for Witch

Lilian: Why are you wearing pyjamas to go trick or treating?

Chris: I'm a ninja

Lillian: [sarcastically] Ninjas wear pyjamas?

Blunk: Free candy? Blunk go too! Just need costume!

Lilian: Um... isn’t he already wearing one?

Lilian: [Coming in to find W.I.T.C.H in guardian mode] Wow... you change fast.

Elizabeth Hale: [on seeing Hay Lin in her guardian mode] I don't remember Halloween costumes coming with that kind of padding?

Chris: I knew you really wanted to go! You had a costume all the time!

Irma: [seizing his hand] It's not a costume...it's a disguise...so no one sees me with you!

Taranee: Wonderful. The spooky old bookstore where you nearly destroyed us.

Cedric: [wistful] Ah, memories...

Irma: Malt balls? Wow, old Mrs. Primusberger usually gives out toothbrushes! Not bad!

Blunk: Blunk happy too! Look!

Irma: Moth balls?

Blunk: [slurps] Yum, menthol!

Irma: [brainwashing a selfish glutton] Give us candy, give us candy... CANDY!

Chris: Isn't my sister the coolest?

Hay Lin: Irma! You found us!

Irma: Yeah, the twenty-foot snake monster makes it surprisingly easy.

Caleb: [throwing softballs at Nerissa] Did I win a prize, Ma?

Nerissa: Baby needs a spanking!

X is for Xanadu

Hay Lin: Ugh! I am beyond beat. Since Phobos’ Halloween coming-out party, it feels like we’ve been fighting 24/7.

Taranee: Except for school, we kind of have.

Irma: The creep never gets tired! He’s like the triple-espresso of evil.

Nerissa: I lacked vision! He's the fool with no vision! Destroy everything in his path, no goal, no plan? I would have united worlds. That... is vision!

Elyon: Vision, sure, just no conscious. This is your fault, you...

Nerissa: Watch your tongue, welt, or I'll... [Elyon zaps her] How?! I drained your power into the Heart of Meridian!

Elyon: And imprisoned me inside of it, you hateful hag!

Elyon: I may not be strong enough to free us from my brother's scepter, but I can crush you like a bug!

Cassidy: And we'll help!

Phobos: You’ve lost every battle since my return.

Will: A streak we’ll break tonight, buster!

Irma: Buster?

Will: It’s been a long day!

Y is for Yield

Nerissa: Caleb is my son. I will not allow Phobos to harm him.

Elyon: Yeah, you’re Mother of the Year...

Z is for Zenith

Hay Lin: Did he just...

Irma: Swallow Phobos whole? Oh yeah.

Miranda: My Lord.

Cedric: Oh, my Love.

Irma: My lunch…

Hay Lin: Ewwww!

Matt: I don't like it.

Will: But you know it's hasto happen

Matt: Yeah, but Will, If this all goes south, I'm gonna be beside you.

Will: I know. I was always a sucker for doomed romance. [They kiss]

Irma: Yo romeo and drooliet, we've got a mega battle coming!

[Nerissa's illusion]

Nerissa: Fools! Did they really think I've given up? For an improvised plan it went quite well. In those forms you know longer have the will to resist me. You will become my thralls for the conquest to come.

Caleb: You'll never get away with this.

Nerissa: Oh, but I will. Kandrakar toppled in a matter of minutes. Poor battered Meridian took even less time. One by one, the worlds will fall. One by one they will give me their Hearts, until even Earth with all it's technology will have no choice but to acknowledge Nerissa as it's queen.

Julian: I should never have doubted you, love.

Caleb: You did it. You brought order to the universe. With but a few battles, you ended war for all time. I am proud of you, mother.

Elyon: Cornelia, please!

Cassidy: Irma, wake up!

Altermere Yan Lin: Snap out of it, granddaughter!

Yan Lin: Excuse me, my granddaughter.

Shagon: Why can't they come back?!

Halinor: They evolved beyond humanity, lost themselves. They can't come back. They simply forgotten they should.

Irma: We touched the Dragons.

Taranee: And got burned.

Cornelia: So that is all what left of us? I want my humanity back!

Irma: Uh, what's humanity again? And, uh, where do we find it?

Will: Matt.

Matt: Okay, that's a trick we're not trying again anytime soon.

Will: It was over. Took everyone and everything we had. Teamwork. Harmony. Yeah, that's how we maxed out our power. Anyway, we won! We all made tracks and the Regents abandoned the glamour. The destruction down town was blamed on the snowstorm, which made no sense, but people believe what they like to believe. Case and point; Nerissa. She would remain with Julian. And, maybe in time father and son would make peace with what she had done. Meanwhile the other baddies where back where they belonged. And so was a fully powered Elyon on Meridian's throne, surrounded by people she can trust, including Raythor, who finally has a monarch worthy of his service. It was kind off a new start for everyone. The Council of Kandrakar was back in business. Queen Kadma returned her heart to Zamballa, but abdigated her throne for a more, humble life on Earth. And a ghost-free Cassidy went home too. Yan Lin introduced her family to her long lost twin sister Mira, while the rest of us just tried to find our way back to normal.It pretty much took all winter break. But by the time school started I think we had finally decompressed.

Quoternity