What I Like About You Quotations

What I Like About You was an American television sitcom set mainly in New York City, following the lives of two sisters, Valerie Tyler (Jennie Garth) and Holly Tyler (Amanda Bynes). The series ran on The WB Television Network from September 20, 2002, to March 24, 2006, with a total of 86 episodes produced. With the exception of a brief period early in the second season, What I Like About You was a headline on The WB's Friday night comedy lineup. The show is now syndicated for reruns on The CW Television Network in the U.S. and on other networks around the world. It will debut on ABC Family at 4PM EST Starting January 20th, 2008.

Pilot [1.01]

Val: [About a fashion designer] Man, if I could snag a client like her my career would take off like a rocket, bang! WOOT JASON

Jeff: I think you want whoosh. When you're talking rockets, bang is bad.

Val: Are we dead?

Jeff: If we are, do I still have to watch "Riding in Cars with Boys"?

Holly: Oh, I'm just playing a little game. It's called getting killed by the elevator while Gary does nothing!

Holly: Your life is fascinating . Its fascinating. You're fascinating!

Spa Day [1.02]

Gary: Don't feel bad. I grew up with this stuff. A lot of people your age have problems with the technology.

Jeff: My age? Dude, I'm only ten years older than you!

Gary: You mean like a decade?

Jeff: So you think I'm old?

Gary: No...sir!

Roommates [1.03]

Jeff: What were you guys doing in there, man?

Gary: I went in to get my movie!

Jeff: You like this movie?

Gary: I love that movie! I'm like obsessed with it! It's one of those movies where I'm like, man, I would love to be one of those characters!

Jeff: You wanna be one of the Ya-Ya Sisters?

Gary: No, no! I went in to get "The Matrix," man...this must be Val's.

Jeff: You want free cheesecake for a year?

Gary: Sure!

Jeff: Make it disappear!

Jeff: You guys aren't fighting, are you? I know how sisters can be.

Val: You have two brothers.

Jeff: But I have seen "Ya-Ya Sisterhood"!

Val: That's about a mother and a daughter! Weren't you paying attention at all?

Jeff: Yeah... Please don't make me watch it again!

The Teddy Bear [1.04]

Holly: (to Gary, on the phone) Don't worry! I'll just tell Jeff you missed the bus. (hangs up, to Jeff) Gary's running late. He's watching "SpongeBob SquarePants".

Jeff: What a loser! It's a repeat!

Cool Older Sister [1.05]

Jeff: (to Val) I've been to a million parties like this when I was Holly's age and there all the same:girls hanging in one side of the room, guys hanging out on the other side. It's pretty boring until some guy named Chad shows up with beer that he got with a fake I.D. Everyone starts drinking, the two sides merge. Chad hits it off with Holly and tells her that he's thinking becoming a pro tennis player, she thinks he's cute because he has the kinda hair that looks perfect when he does nothing to it. He offers her a beer, Holly smiles. I'm going to kill this Chad guy when I get my hands on him!

Holly:(When Val comments about how Holly's skirt is too short) Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't I go see if I have something in my "Amish" drawer?

Holly: (to Gary) And then, on the way to school, she said damn. Twice.

Gary: VAL?

Holly: Uh-huh.

Gary: Man, my parents would never let me miss school. You know, for once I would love to NOT win the perfect attendance award.

Holly: (laughing) Gary, perfect attendance is something to be proud of.

Gary: That's what it said on the sash

Copy That [1.08]

Jeff: (after Jake gives Holly a latte) Jake, huh, nice!

Holly: Do you want his number?

Holly: (to Jake) I kinda get the feeling that you like me and don't get me wrong, I like you too. It's just uh.. if you like "like me, like me" then I have to tell you that I don't like you, like you like me

Jeff: Why don't you just go for it?

Holly: There is nothing to go for. For starters, his last name is "Wood."

Jeff: So?

'Holly: So, Holly Wood. Why even go down that road?

Holly: I told Jake I knew he had a thing for me, but he denied it. Then he told everyone what I said and now they all think I am conceited.

Jeff: Are you saying he denied the heat?

Holly: No, no, he liked me...he just didn't like being rejected by me.

Jeff: So he did like you, but you rejected him first, then he turned it around to make you the object of ridicule. My God!

Holly: I know!

Jeff: That kid's a genius!

The Cheerleading Incident [1.13]

Holly: (to her iBop) Never should have taken you to that Greek restaurant. It was too dangerous for you. But you're broken now, so you're nothing more to me but a worthless piece of plastic and I hate you!

Holly: (talking about iBop) Yes it came, I love it and it's mine!

Gary: You said I could have it!

Holly: That was before I fell in love with it! I love it, Gary! I love it like a little tiny child!(After Gary leaves) It's ok baby. The bad man's gone

Dude, Where's Val's Car? [1.18]

Gary: You lose your girlfriend, you lose your job... nobody's looking, you want a hug?

The Talk [1.22]

Holly: So, how old were you the first time you did it?

Val: Eight...years older than you are now!

Holly: Now, can I ask you a question?

Val: Hmm?

Holly: Were you really 24 your first time?

Val: No.

Holly: I knew it!

Val: I've never done it!

I Love You... Soon

Lauren: Hey, bike messenger.

Vince: I have a name.

Lauren: (touches Vince's abs) Yeah, don't care.

Boys' Club

Holly: (to Val) I've got 1300... no... 1100... I've got $75 in my savings account!

Val: Do these pants make my bottom look big?

Holly: "Bottom?!" You're so Amish!

Holly: (shouting to Henry, upset and angry) You know me, you know who I am! If-if we've been dating long enough for you to know that if I could have been there I would have! And that, you know, I'm sorry but something came up and I don't feel that I should be punished for that! And to be perfectly honest, I think you're being a little bit of a bitch right now!

Henry: I have to have major surgery...

Holly: Oh my God, what is it?

Henry: I have to have my wisdom teeth removed.(laughs)....

henry:... No one knows they're going into a (hush tone) coma when they go into a (hush tone) coma.

When Holly Met Tina

Holly: Did you figure out your new company's name?

Val: Yeah.

Holly: Well, what is it?

Val: Val Co.

Holly: Val Co.?

Val: You'll like it when you see it with the logo.

Holly: Does it cover up the name "Val Co." ?

Val': Holly does it really sound that bad?

Holly: well i think the hobo around the corner will like it

The Loft

Tina: (after Holly and Gary beg her to see Jay Miller's loft) Okay, fine, but you have to promise not to touch anything. (looks at Gary)

Gary: (reluctantly) Why you lookin' at me?

Like a Virgin (Kinda)

Tina: Don't you want to know what she looks like?

Holly: No. I already have her pictured in my head. She's fat, looks like a troll, and has a glass eye.

Tina: Then why don't I go and report back?

Holly: What if she's prettier than me?

Tina: Then I'll lie.

Holly: What kind of crappy friend are you?!

Holly: He doesn't look different.

Tina: Who?

Holly: Henry, he still looks like a virgin.

Tina: Yeah, I think he's stuck with that look.

(When Vince says he did it with a celebrity and nobody can guess who it is)

Gary: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen?

Vince: I don't think that's three names or legal.

Gary: Not for another two hundred and forty-eight days. (loud) I got it! Ann B. Davis! The maid on "The Brady Bunch"!?

Vince: (pauses, then gives in) Yes.

(Why Tina and Holly have to get off the subway)

Holly: We need cheese.

Vince: We got cheese.

Holly: Spicy mustard?

Henry: Got it.

Holly: Toothpicks?

Gary: Right here.

Tina: Tampons.

All the guys: Aw, hell no!

No More Mr. Nice Guy

Vince: (to Val and Holly) So it's Friday night and you're going to the gym and you're staying home. You guys are such animals!

Val: People from Yale are such jackasses.

Vince: Hey! My father went to Yale!

Val:Ooh. Sorry. I'm sure he was a very nice man.

Vince: No, I'm just kidding. My father's a loser.

Vince: Got any tools?

Holly: Oh, yeah. (hands Vince small pink tool box)

Vince: (takes it and pulls out a small red hammer) Could take a while!

Absence Makes the Heart Grow...Never Mind

Lauren: (to Val) Your sister's got two boyfriends and you got none!

Your Cheatin' Heart

Henry: (to a shirtless Gary) I got to say I'm really uncomfortable.

Gary: Yet you can't look away!

Rick: Look at you!

Val: Look at you!

Rick: I'd rather look at you.

Henry: (to Holly) I would like to point out that the "salad" (Henry) is going to an Ivy league school while the "beef" (Vince) rides a bike for a living.

(After seeing shirtless Gary)

Lauren: Sweet mother of God!

Val: Holy crap!

Holly, Tina, and male customer: Damn!

Sky Rink Sucks

Holly: Can you still get girls?

Vince: Isn't that our whole problem?

Split Ends

Holly: How great is it that Ben got a gig at the diner?

Vince: So great. Now I get to see even more of that guy. All Ben, all the time.

Val: (Covering her wrist) You'll never guess what Rick got me as a wedding present!

Holly: (gasps) A pony!?

Val: A diamond bracelet!

Val: It's a letter to Rick with a heart. I don't do hearts, I do smiley faces. (Lauren takes it) What are you doing?

Lauren: (Opening the letter) A little open heart surgery.

Holly: (singing off key) You make me feel like a natural woman..

Gary: You're gonna wear something low cut, right?

Holly: What do you think, Ben?

Ben: I think you could use a little more rehearsal.

Holly: Vince?

Vince: You're awesome. Sing it again.

Holly: Tina stole my sheet music! (Storms out)

Lauren: If they could only steal her voice.

Tina: I know you weren't lying to me. We never lie to each other.

Holly: So you really think my voice sucks?

Tina: Yeah..

Holly: Hey! Where have you been?

Ben: Out being your knight in shining armor.

Vince: (mocking) Knight in shining armor.

Three Little Words

Holly: (about Ben's song) Ohmygod, isn't it the worst song ever?

Val: He's from the same country as the Beatles?

Vince: (about Ben) What's Queen Elizabeth so excited about?

Holly: It's gonna ruin his career! What should I do?

Vince: Dump him.

Holly: What?

Vince: What? Go after him! What'd you hear? GOD!

Vince: Fiona, this is my friend Holly. Ben's girlfriend. Holly, this is Fiona. Ben's wife.

Holly: What!?

Vince: You should dump him.

Holly: What?

Vince: What!? I said you should work it out! What'd you hear? GOD!

Holly: Who knows what else he's lied about? Maybe he's not even British! (Faking accent) 'Ello mate! (Normal voice) How hard was that!

Gary: What if she and Ben didn't break up?

Vince: Wife, Gary, wife! She's never gonna forgive him for this.

Holly: When you love someone, you forgive them.

Ben: When you love someone?

Holly: Yeah, I've been waiting for the perfect moment. I love you. I know its only been two months and its okay if you want to wait to tell me but--

Ben: I love you, too.

Ghost of a Chance

Vince: Man, look at her! I love Halloween.

Gary: Uhm, thats a dude.

Lauren: Are you seriously not going to go to the club and see if your sister pulls this off? Very cold, Val Tyler!

Val: That's because Holly hasn't let me turn on the heat all week!

Lauren: All right, fine. Do what you want. All I'm saying is that I'm going to the club.

Val: Okay.

Lauren: I'm just saying that Holly came by today and told me that you have been there for every big moment in her life, and she couldn't believe you were going to miss this one.

Val: She said that?

Lauren: Well, actually, she came by to make sure I didn't have any unnecessary lights on, but I read between the lines.

Holly: (about college) I didn't have a passion for it.

Gary: Did you tell your sister?

Holly: I didn't have a passion for that either.

Ben: You just need a little push. Like the way Holly pushes me. And pushes, and pushes, and pushes..

Holly: Vince, why did you focus on a guy in a mermaid suit?

Vince: That was a guy, too?

Children: Trick or treat-- (Val pushes them away)

Val: You dropped out of college!?

Holly: All out of candy little girl! (closes door)

Vince: (to Ben) Wow, this place is packed! Holly got a much bigger crowd for Danielle then she did for you. (Ben looks at him) I'm just saying.

Ben: Yeah, well size doesn't matter.

Vince: You keep telling yourself that.

Holly: I'm going back to college on Monday. That was the deal.

Val: Maybe we could wait.

Holly: You mean like Tuesday?

Gift of the Mutton

Rick: Hey, was your father a thief?

Val: What?

Rick: Cause I swore he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

(Ben pulls a girl from the crowd onto the stage and dances with her)

Holly: Good. Work it, work it.

(Girl kisses Ben)

Holly: Security, get the slut off the stage!

Tina: You know the vet that I work for? I get jealous when he talks to another woman.

Holly: That other woman is his wife, Tina. You need to quit that job.

Val: Thats the day I stopped being Val and became "the loose one.

Val: WHAT IS IT?

Rick: Mutton stew.

Val: Your mom likes old sheep?

Rick: Old sheep stew.

Lauren: Why would she look on the internet? She needs mutton, not porn.

Holly: Uhm Lauren there are other things on the internet besides porn.

Lauren: Get out!

Holly: Besides, Ben's not the jealous type. He's all evolved and European.

(about Holly)

Gary: You okay, dude?

Vince: Unbelievable... I got to kiss her like eight times!

Ben: I know I cant believe it. I've never been jealous in my entire life. What the hell are you doing to me, Holly?

Ben: I'm just going to have to rise above it, and not ask who the better kisser was, me or Vince.

(Holly laughs)

Ben: .. I'm waiting.

Holly: Wow, when you get jealous, you get jealous. I like it.

We'll Miss Gittle a Little

Val: (about her dress) It took three months to make. The woman lives 'til 95 and she can't hold on another week!?

Lauren: Hey, listen I talked to the old guy.

Holly: Yeah, well, that narrows it down.

Store Owner: (to Vince) And a special hello to you, Popeye.

Holly: We have to get that address! (They all nod and look at Vince)

Gary: How about it, Popeye?

Vince: (Takes off his jacket) Damn this face and body!

Holly: She's pictured the dress, she's pictured the roses--

Gary: She picture her fiancé with another woman?

Holly: What? Thats Julie!

Ben: Ex-fiancée Julie?

Holly: I dont believe him! What is he doing?

Gary: Apparently Julie.

Vince: I got the address... and now I feel dirty and cheap.

Holly: Hypothetically, if there was a tidal wave coming to New York, would you want to be warned, or be surprised and see if you survive?

Val: Is there any salmon in this tidal wave?

Holly: But if you ever hurt my sister? (punches him on the arm) It'll be a lot harder than that.

The Wedding (1)

Rick: (Laughing) 'On the hanger!'

Lauren: You've never been fat, have you?

Gary: The secrets pop out of my mouth like a gumball.

Ben: It means that I'm playing guitar on the Jack Johnson tour, and I'm leaving tomorrow night after the wedding for two months!

Vince: YES!

Holly: I won't see you for two months?

Ben: Well, they said I could bring my manager with me, and that just so happens to be my girlfriend..

Gary: Why are you staring at Ben's boxers?

Vince: So I can do this! (Throws boxers on the ground and jumps on them)

(Vince opens the door, and Tina rushes in)

Tina: I hate my life!

Vince: (to empty door) Hi, Tina, come on in!

Tina: (to Vince) Remember we said not to talk about it.

Both: Don't tell Gary.

Tina: It means when someone has sex with someone it was a huge mistake.

Vince: Pie, Gary? (Shoves a piece in her mouth)

Vince: (To Tina, when they're alone) Well, ahaha isn't this awkward?

Julie: I didn't call him, he called me.

Holly: Rick called you?

Julie: I was just as surprised as you, which is why I'm crying. (to her therapist) Can I get some Prozac NOW?

The Wedding (2)

Val: (to Rick) I can't do this. This is not what I waited my whole life for.

Val: I'm not going to let something like the bride and groom breaking up spoil my wedding!

Holly: You wanna open presents!?

Val: I want go home.

Holly: Here you go! (Shoves gift in her face)

Gary: This is a little awkward. Since you and I are best friends, we don't keep secrets from each other.. The girl that I hooked up with was Tina.

Vince: What the hell? I slept with Tina!

Gary: Ah-ha!

Val: I want to be numb so I don't feel anything ever again.

Holly: I love you!

Val: I love you, too.

Holly: Want to get married?

(while insulting Rick..)

Lauren: And what about that annoying British accent?

Holly: Lauren, Ben's the one with the accent.

Lauren: We're not talking about Ben? My bad.

How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying to Be a Lesbian

Val: Baby steps people.I came out didn't I?

Lesbians: Wahoo!

Val: No no I didn't mean...oh what the hell.

Dangerous Liaisons

Holly [talking about Val and Todd (Jennie Garth and Luke Perry)]: Let me guess, Brenda's still in Paris?

The Kid, The Cake, and The Chemistry

Holly: (to Tina, about the invitations to Vince's "surprise" party) You got the invitation, didn't you, Tina?

Tina: (playing along) Yep. Totally got it.

Ben: (muttering) Of course she got invited, she slept with him, for God's sake!

Holly: (singing) Everybody! For he's a jolly good fellow. For he's a jolly good fellow. Would Tina meet me on the patio? Everyone just talk amongst yourselves!

My Boyfriend's Back (1)

Henry: (About Vince) Look at this guy. He loves you. He'll always love you.. Even when I loved you, he loved you. (Vince gives him a dirty look) But I digress.

Enough is Enough (2)

Holly: (to Vince) Do you know what, I have nothing else to say to you! Except, don't try to call me! Take a look at what you're missing! (clicks cell phone camera) Goodbye!

Lauren: (to Gary) I'll make her laugh!

Gary: (to Lauren) I'll have sex with her.

Lauren: (to Gary) So will I!

I Want My Baby Back (3)

Lauren:(to Val) God made you drunk and gave you a husband. And not just any husband, bus someone you already had feelings for!

I've Got a Secret

(Holly and Tina walk in the bakery)
(Tina notices Gary is there with Vince, and turns to Holly)

Tina: What is he doing here?

Holly: (shrugs)

Tina: (points finger at Holly) I'm going to go fake pee, and when I get back, I'm going to REAL kill you!

Holly: Isn't there a job where you get paid to make out?

Vince: Yeah, we could be Ladies of the Night!

Gary: Come on man, you went and told Holly that I have unwanted feelings of a desire-ist nature towards Tina?

Holly: (giggles nervously) WHAT?

Vince: No, I didn't tell her, you just did, Gary!

Gary: Oh no, I just blurted out my own secret? Ohhh, I can't tell me anything!

The Perfect Date (1)

Holly:(to Tina, who invites the gang to Vermont) Well, does it have good phone reception up there? Because Vince will want to call all of his girlfriends!

Vince: Don't worry, I can always use Holly's ankle bracelet as an antenna!

Val: Charlie, this is a diamond bracelet.

Charlie: I had a really excellent time tonight.

Charlie: It matches your eyes. You know, if your eyes were $2700.

Lauren: Excuse me, I just swallowed a xylophone.

Val: You found where I hid your computer.

Lauren: Oh, what, a person can't just swallow a xylophone?

Halloween (2)

Lauren: LOOK AT ME! Okay, now I'm going to a singles party dressed as a naughty flight attendant, so I can find someone to "fly" me. Yes I'm actually going with that line.

Holly: Screw the cracker!

Vince: I CAN'T!

Someone's in the Kitchen with Daddy

Val: (to Vic they are running) Come on! I got 3 inch heels on and I'm still runnin' faster than you! Is this how you run into a burning building?

Vic: Hey, I'm doing it on purpose, I'm watching you from behind-very sexy!

Val: Too sexy? Oh great. Now daddy's gonna think I'm a whore. Earlier today, he told me I was fat. Now I'm a fat whore.

Ground-Turkey-Hog-Day

Holly: If I didn't "ruin her wedding", she would never have met Vic.

Tina: The Vic that she's getting an annulment from?

Holly: Shut up!

Holly: We've got stuffing. We've got Vic. We've got yams. We've got Vic. We've got--

Val: (interrupts) Holly.

Holly: (rushes) We've got Vic.

Val: I'm so confused. (about her mini-turkeys) I made parakeet!

(At the charity auction; where firemen are being auctioned off)

Vic: Val?

Val: We're here for the kids.

Val: I've got a hundred.

Holly: Ok, I've got a hundred. That makes two hundred. (Val looks at her) I'm not just another pretty face.

Vic: Bianca?

Bianca: Hey, baby.

Val: Baby!

Holly: Who's calling your baby, baby?

Lauren: Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod.

Gary: What, what?

Lauren: ..What?

Lauren: I know that he is married. And that it is wrong. That's why I have to meet him. So I can tell him that he's married and that it's wrong.

Lauren: Poker-man? (the man turns around) RICK!?

Rick: LAUREN!?

Lauren: You're my poker-man?

Rick: You're my--

Both: UGH!

Gary: (about Lauren) I can't believe I wasted my pearls of wisdom on that woman. MY PEARLS!

Holly: Have you started drinking yet?

Val: No.. (Lauren walks in)

Lauren: Hi..

Holly: Start.

Holly: Bianca, this is Vince.

(Vince stares her, stumbling over his words)

Vince: You're pretty.

Holly: (about Bianca) You're supposed to be distracting her!

Vince: (pushing her away) Shhh. Bianca's talking..

Val: I hate that I'm so confused, and scared, and stuck, and--

(Vic kisses her)

Vic: I'm going to give you everything you've ever dreamed of.. which is why I'm going to go to the firehouse now.

Val: Uh, well, I did not dream that..

Val: Vic? You just made this my best Thanksgiving, too.

(after Vic leaves..)

Val: (smiling) Ohhhh my god!

For Love or Money

(about her pin number)

Holly: I love you, and--

Vince: Holly, whats the number?

Holly: Ben forever.

Val: (to Lauren) Rick is never going to leave his wife FOR YOU.

Coming Home

Robyn: Bye Holly. Love your shoes.

Holly: Bye Robyn. Hate your guts

(Vic telling Val he quit his job as a fireman)

Val: You what?

Vic: I quit.

Val: Your job?

Vic: No drinking

(talking about why Vic likes being a fireman)

Val: You like almost dying?

Vic: No, that's not my favorite part of the job...the hats waaaaaaay cool.

Val: ... You wanna wear a cool hat, get a job as a wizard.

(Talking about Robyn)

Holly: Everytime me and Vince make plans she always has some work thing for him (makes air quotes)

Tina: Why did you just make air quotes?

Holly: I didn't. I was practicing what I was going to do to her eyes!

Desperate Girlfriends

Tina:(about Lauren) Oh my God! She turned it around and pulled the surprise party out of her ass!

Holly: If only she could pull some morals out of her ass!

Gary: You know what? Your-your hair is so Footloose!

Vince: You did NOT just drag Kevin Bacon into this!

The Other Women

Tina: (about Robin) Oh my god, the beyotch is coming, the beyotch is coming!

Your Money or Your Wife

Tina: Ok, how stupid are we?

Gary: Well, I know how stupid you are.

Val: (To Marcus) Would you like a muffin? (turns to get one, and Lauren stands in front of Marcus)

Lauren: Me llamo Muffin.

Lauren: (about all the fireman in the bakery) It's like a gay bar. With hope.

(A mugger comes up behind Vince and grabs him)

Mugger: Don't say a word.

Holly: (back turned, thinking its Vince) Oh, I won't--

Vince: Holly.

Holly: Ohh!

Mugger: Just give me all your money.

Holly: Yes, and our valuables.

Mugger: Yeh-yeah. Thanks!

Val: They're not being firemen, they're being firebabies!

Vic: You know what? I would ask you for the strawberries but you'd probably charge me for them. That's a burn!

Holly: You totally said that you were going after my man!

Robyn: No, actually, you did.

Holly: Twister! Twister! She is twisting all my words.

Gary: All right, fantastic four, back together again.

(Holly and Vince walk away, and both Tina & Gary's cell phones ring)

Tina: Aww Holly!

Gary: Viiiiiiiiince!

Val: I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. I don't want to be right anymore. I just want to be right here in your arms.

Holly: I think that we're done.

Vince: Done thinking?

Holly: No.. just done.

(Holly walks into her apartment)

Vince: Holly!

(The door to his apartment opens)

Gary: Oh my damn! Hold me!

Now and Zen (1)

Vince: I can't believe I trusted you. God, I'm so stupid!

Robin: Yeah, you are! And you know what would really make me mad? If you made out with me right now!

Vince: What?

Robin: Eh, it was worth a shot

Lauren: (to Val, who is being pessimistic about her Star Wars-themed wedding) Stop looking for the "Dark Side," Mrs. "Darth Vader"!

Quoternity